"The Adventures of the Cosmo reading Cow!"
Let me tell u a tale, of a couragous boilemic cow named Sylvester. For those of u fortunate to stand in the pressence of his lazyness u know that my brother has a very large. easy going, friendly, large, boilemic cow. HE also is black and white like a milk cow, thus helping with the boilemic cow name. And that I am convinced that he reads cosmo and thinks he has to have a cat sized six pack to show off to all the girls in the neighborhood. Unfortuantley for him, he was nudaroed or however its spelled. So all he knows is he went to sleep and when he woke up he didn't have blue balls anymore. But if he asks, just tell him what we tell him. He got layed by Angolina Jolies Cat, "puss in clear heal boots" and the sex was so great hes drainned. Now I know its a weird name, but it is Angolina jolie! So if he asks stick to that story! But anyways since, he still cleans to the hope of getting layed agian and since I get pissed when he uses my work out equipment cause he always gets cat hair all over my work out bench he goes to an alternative. That is since he's fat and lazy his form of working out, is throwing up on the carpet in front of the tv while the game is on! See he likes to kill two birds with one stone. He loses weight, by throwing up than, getting some excercise by running from an inraged pissed of Lance Romance. But I am getting off track. So anyways, I am in my garge right and I have my skateboard in one hand and am planning to get a phillips to lossin the trucks on my board. So while I put the board down, Sylvester comes over to get close to sniff it. So I wait for quite a while to see if he would do anything, like get on it. Well after 5 minutes or so I am convinced hes not gonna do anything, so I walk over to get a bottle of water. When I turn around, Sylvester jumps on it which from the momentium of his fat ass rolls him about a foot on the ground before he attempted to jump off. This resulted in him eating it hard and the board hitting the garge door. This wakes up my mother who races down stairs, swings open the door to find me with the board in my hands, while the wheels are still spinning, and sylvester lying on his belly cause hes too lazy to stand, and a really guilty look on his face. "What were u doing?" she asks. I look at her and said, it was sylvester, he was trying to learn how to skate! She looks at me like what am I stupid says "don't skate in the garge please and than leaves. As I left, I looked down at sylvester and said good one dick! Lol, I love that cat. True story, happend about an hour ago.