i am alive again
Yeahhh i have not posted here as much as i use to, been really busy, i have had no life. well i have but it has been with my artwork pretty much and hanging out w/friends here at MC. so yeah, i have been in and out of moods. I was hoping to see ryan and bonnie a couple weekend agos, but never happened. i was dissapointed and now i just want to get home and see them. Exams have started and i only have one true exam adn that is may 11 at 6 and that is stats. so we will see how that happens. I am hoping it wont be too bad, but i want a B in that class. So yeah
so lately i feel i need a guy in my life or a good make out session or something!!! i been wanting something. i just feel very unloved lately. i have no idea why, but i just want some loven. So, i am still loving ryan and there is geoff that comes in and out of the game, which is crazy. Tonight geoff called me back and we had a REALLY nice conversation, it was weird. I also had a call from ryan and it just made me happy, i was like wow. it has been nuts. BUt i really want ryan still just bc i feel something deeper than what is seen. i cant describe it. i am hopnig the summer (while i am here) something will go down. Does not help ryan updated his facebook profile, and he has in it 'looking for love in all the wrong places....' i am mentally thinking, HI i am right here!! lets take a shot at this and see what happens, u never know!!! i know we wont loss around friend, we have already been through a lot. so yeah, ahhh I just want to beat my head in. OH and his profile in his aim does not help...it says this...
Jump on in, the water's nice ,
Get in my bed.
Let's get fucked and turn out the lights,
Get in my bed.
We can sit and talk a while,
Get in my bed.
I am like hmmm, sounds like our night...i know i am reading into all of it, but u know what he did it to me...so yeah....now i am listenign to sappy music and that does not help me. I just want to curl up somewhere and cry my eyes out and want everything to go my way for once. I dont feel like it is at all :( AHHHH
am i going crazy? or am i just that head over heals for him? i HATE when i want someone who does not want me back and i am just feel so hopeless. Does not help someone else does not come along to get my mind off that person. Geoff does not get my mind off ryan, he is just another friend and I think geoff is a great guy adn all, dont get me wrong, but he is not ryan. AHHHH shoot me please someone.
so lately i feel i need a guy in my life or a good make out session or something!!! i been wanting something. i just feel very unloved lately. i have no idea why, but i just want some loven. So, i am still loving ryan and there is geoff that comes in and out of the game, which is crazy. Tonight geoff called me back and we had a REALLY nice conversation, it was weird. I also had a call from ryan and it just made me happy, i was like wow. it has been nuts. BUt i really want ryan still just bc i feel something deeper than what is seen. i cant describe it. i am hopnig the summer (while i am here) something will go down. Does not help ryan updated his facebook profile, and he has in it 'looking for love in all the wrong places....' i am mentally thinking, HI i am right here!! lets take a shot at this and see what happens, u never know!!! i know we wont loss around friend, we have already been through a lot. so yeah, ahhh I just want to beat my head in. OH and his profile in his aim does not help...it says this...
Jump on in, the water's nice ,
Get in my bed.
Let's get fucked and turn out the lights,
Get in my bed.
We can sit and talk a while,
Get in my bed.
I am like hmmm, sounds like our night...i know i am reading into all of it, but u know what he did it to me...so yeah....now i am listenign to sappy music and that does not help me. I just want to curl up somewhere and cry my eyes out and want everything to go my way for once. I dont feel like it is at all :( AHHHH
am i going crazy? or am i just that head over heals for him? i HATE when i want someone who does not want me back and i am just feel so hopeless. Does not help someone else does not come along to get my mind off that person. Geoff does not get my mind off ryan, he is just another friend and I think geoff is a great guy adn all, dont get me wrong, but he is not ryan. AHHHH shoot me please someone.