(no subject)
I woke up yesterday around noon 30. Went back and forth from working on my computer to cleaning my room. It's been a mess here lately. I have such a single track mind when left alone to things like that. When I got to putting papers away I found myself being sucked into my dresser full of old stuff I keep. Camille hates that I use up an entire dresser for misc. stuff but I prefer it to boxes. Started going through old papers and cd's. Saw some old drawings from back in the day a couple years ago and I analyzed my former self and the state of mind I used to inhabit. Found a bunch of old pictures from when I went to new york and I saw people I hadn't seen in almost 8 years. I found an old digital address book I had in high school and was looking back at old numbers and email addresses, which inevitably drew me back to my computer where I ended up chatting with Nick for a bit.
We talked about our music for a while and what we wanted to do for new projects. Laughed a little, then we talked about war and anti-semitism. I enjoy talks about those kinds of things, not because of any interest in the subject matter in particular, but they always seem to be so engaging.
From there he had to leave and I found myself watching channel 13 for an unkown amount of time. There was some music special going on, with Irish folk music. There was an Orchestra playing and singers on a stage. One set in particular, there was a blonde woman playing the violin on stage and running around and dancing. Really working the crowd with her beauty and her music. The crowd was a bit older and they really seemed to get a kick out of her. She ran in and out the orchestra jumping and dancing and playing the most intricate of music on that violin. I remember thinking how hard that must have been. I thought of how passionate she must have been about things like that. Music and performing. Things to me that really have no use in my world, but none the less they seemed to be her passion.
At some point in her life, I'm sure she made the concious decision to pursue performing as a means to make a living. And it was her passion that all of a sudden made me feel like a failure. Like there was nothing really that I do passionately. Not a hobby or craft.... a trade or a skill. Seemed like I really just did what I needed to get by.
It was that thought in mind I looked at the clock and saw it was 6pm. Camille was coming at 7 and we'd soon be on our way to Jake's house for trivial pursuit night. So I went running in that hour before she came and I did about 2 miles at the track. felt good, but not like it used to.
Trivial Pursuit was good, got a few right even.
Wall Ball tonight with Jake, Dentist on thursday to get a wisdom tooth pulled.
that is all.
We talked about our music for a while and what we wanted to do for new projects. Laughed a little, then we talked about war and anti-semitism. I enjoy talks about those kinds of things, not because of any interest in the subject matter in particular, but they always seem to be so engaging.
From there he had to leave and I found myself watching channel 13 for an unkown amount of time. There was some music special going on, with Irish folk music. There was an Orchestra playing and singers on a stage. One set in particular, there was a blonde woman playing the violin on stage and running around and dancing. Really working the crowd with her beauty and her music. The crowd was a bit older and they really seemed to get a kick out of her. She ran in and out the orchestra jumping and dancing and playing the most intricate of music on that violin. I remember thinking how hard that must have been. I thought of how passionate she must have been about things like that. Music and performing. Things to me that really have no use in my world, but none the less they seemed to be her passion.
At some point in her life, I'm sure she made the concious decision to pursue performing as a means to make a living. And it was her passion that all of a sudden made me feel like a failure. Like there was nothing really that I do passionately. Not a hobby or craft.... a trade or a skill. Seemed like I really just did what I needed to get by.
It was that thought in mind I looked at the clock and saw it was 6pm. Camille was coming at 7 and we'd soon be on our way to Jake's house for trivial pursuit night. So I went running in that hour before she came and I did about 2 miles at the track. felt good, but not like it used to.
Trivial Pursuit was good, got a few right even.
Wall Ball tonight with Jake, Dentist on thursday to get a wisdom tooth pulled.
that is all.