Retreating and regrouping
Lately--a.k.a, the past few months--I've been on the defensive, withdrawing into my philosophy. My "real" life hasn't had much to comfort or thrill me, and real bone-deep comfort is what I need. So, like a turtle, I curled up in my first defense mechanism: philosophical detachment and intellectual rationalization. I've gotten pretty deep, while my human need for basic comforts has atrophied.
Yesterday, that hit me. Philosophy is like a drug. The deeper you go, the harder it is to get the high. Arguments gain appendages from over-thinking or lose their initial charm. And real life problems need real life solutions: they gnaw at you as you puzzle over ideals and meaning. Sometimes it takes a hard look at the cold state of affairs, even if it hurts like crazy, to make "real" progress.
The road to recovery bends and dips, filled with potholes and pitfalls to impede progress. Tonight I started to rekindle an old friendship, and those moments talking, realizing how dumb we were to wait, how much it hurt to be apart, etc., really put me back in my human skin. I forgot how warm that feels.
I'm not much happier, my problems still need solving, and the moment has passed, but the warmth lingers. I forgot how wonderful it can feel to embrace human needs with human comfort, rather than try to overcome them. Now, time to regroup and keep moving forward toward an obscure horizon.
Yesterday, that hit me. Philosophy is like a drug. The deeper you go, the harder it is to get the high. Arguments gain appendages from over-thinking or lose their initial charm. And real life problems need real life solutions: they gnaw at you as you puzzle over ideals and meaning. Sometimes it takes a hard look at the cold state of affairs, even if it hurts like crazy, to make "real" progress.
The road to recovery bends and dips, filled with potholes and pitfalls to impede progress. Tonight I started to rekindle an old friendship, and those moments talking, realizing how dumb we were to wait, how much it hurt to be apart, etc., really put me back in my human skin. I forgot how warm that feels.
I'm not much happier, my problems still need solving, and the moment has passed, but the warmth lingers. I forgot how wonderful it can feel to embrace human needs with human comfort, rather than try to overcome them. Now, time to regroup and keep moving forward toward an obscure horizon.