Humility
I'm currently reading the Little Flowers of St. Francis, a medieval book about St. Francis and his early disciples. We don't know the author, but the stories have become legendary: St. Francis taming the wolf, St. Francis running naked through Assisi, St. Anthony of Padua preaching to the fishes, etc.
Humility recurs constantly, threading through almost every vignette so far. St. Francis in particular shows an unhealthy obsession with it. For matins, an early morning prayer, he says, "O Friar Francis, thou hast done so many evil deeds and committed so many sins in the world, that thou art deserving of hell."
He cries bitter tears, rolls on the ground, starves, and insults himself. He runs naked through the town as a form of repentance. Other friars follow a similar regiment of self-humiliation.
St. Francis called his order "little friars" for a reason, calling himself "poor little one" or "little wretch."
The medieval world view thrived on extreme penitence and humbleness, rendered unnatural in modern eyes. But the ideal of humility remains a key virtue I lack.
Introspection can lead to self-absorption, and self-absorption leads to arrogance and self-righteousness. The pattern may not be that smooth, but I know a link exists.
The more I try to reform my lifestyle, the more I fear becoming self-absorbed. That's why I try to help people. It forces me out of my own skin into to the world of other people. But a danger still exists.
Anytime I become the slightest bit arrogant or self-righteous, I want someone to tell me. And be mean about it.
(Although I suppose that's a bit of megalomania in itself.)
Humility recurs constantly, threading through almost every vignette so far. St. Francis in particular shows an unhealthy obsession with it. For matins, an early morning prayer, he says, "O Friar Francis, thou hast done so many evil deeds and committed so many sins in the world, that thou art deserving of hell."
He cries bitter tears, rolls on the ground, starves, and insults himself. He runs naked through the town as a form of repentance. Other friars follow a similar regiment of self-humiliation.
St. Francis called his order "little friars" for a reason, calling himself "poor little one" or "little wretch."
The medieval world view thrived on extreme penitence and humbleness, rendered unnatural in modern eyes. But the ideal of humility remains a key virtue I lack.
Introspection can lead to self-absorption, and self-absorption leads to arrogance and self-righteousness. The pattern may not be that smooth, but I know a link exists.
The more I try to reform my lifestyle, the more I fear becoming self-absorbed. That's why I try to help people. It forces me out of my own skin into to the world of other people. But a danger still exists.
Anytime I become the slightest bit arrogant or self-righteous, I want someone to tell me. And be mean about it.
(Although I suppose that's a bit of megalomania in itself.)