Meditation on Dukkha
It seems like life constitutes a lot of wating and coping, trying to survive valleys from one high to the next without falling to far. My two-week high has died today, leaving me with a stange angst. I'm sure this brief bit of unhappiness will leave, but it's really ruining a perfectly good day.
For example, I've been fighting an uphill battle to work on homework for the last hour. Piano helped, but I still have an empty feeling of incompleteness--that something's not right. I need to get that homework done, but my emotions have other plans. They keep dragging the page away.
In Buddhism, life is Dukkha, "not right-ness/imperfection/suffering." That's so true. I feel unhappy from time to time when a single itching thought or a vague feeling of imperfection keeps dragging my day away. Sometimes I have the strength to say to myself, "This is not your day: let it pass, and move on. You will be better tomorrow, so take what life gives with complacency." But, today I just don't have that strength. It's being drained away. So, I feel that Dukkha hot and strong.
For now, like I said, I must wait and cope, hoping that the next high last longer than this one. But, waiting so much, again and again, has got me discouraged.
Time to listen to the Blues again and try to write a story. I refuse to fall, but it's exhausting to stand and impossible to smile.
For example, I've been fighting an uphill battle to work on homework for the last hour. Piano helped, but I still have an empty feeling of incompleteness--that something's not right. I need to get that homework done, but my emotions have other plans. They keep dragging the page away.
In Buddhism, life is Dukkha, "not right-ness/imperfection/suffering." That's so true. I feel unhappy from time to time when a single itching thought or a vague feeling of imperfection keeps dragging my day away. Sometimes I have the strength to say to myself, "This is not your day: let it pass, and move on. You will be better tomorrow, so take what life gives with complacency." But, today I just don't have that strength. It's being drained away. So, I feel that Dukkha hot and strong.
For now, like I said, I must wait and cope, hoping that the next high last longer than this one. But, waiting so much, again and again, has got me discouraged.
Time to listen to the Blues again and try to write a story. I refuse to fall, but it's exhausting to stand and impossible to smile.