Life is a sick cycle carousel...
I'm having the oddest of moments. Currently I feel completely calm, and yet I am beyond tense. I haven't been able to identify what it is. However, to keep my incessant worry down over it I have purposefully put myself into a Sigur Ros haze....
Its really disgusting being able to know everything about yourself. To know all the corners of your mind, all your little quirks and calls. I'm currently on a path of self reflection so that I can better understand and then better myself. Though, I still don't know everything what I have unearthed just makes me feel hopeless sometimes. Knowing everything about your person makes you realise the extremes to which you are blocked to the world. I have never believed that we live inside out own little boxes, but I have realised that I do, and that I have no frakking clue how to break out of it. I understand its limits, and in turn realise how I am perceived by the world, and I just want to curl up into a corner.
To know that everything I desire is on the outside of this box. I want it to go away, and never return....but that is my biggest problem; I haven't figured out its fractures and I can't seem to find my sledgehammer. I'll stop myself here for a now, as I know I could ramble in circles for hours about this and still make no sense.
I doesn't help that I'm INTJ and a Capricorn.....I was born to be screwed up!
But here is the question of the hour...
Would you rather be stuck in this world confused or stuck knowing everything about yourself and the limitations that imposes?.