Chapter 287 Review
Sup, my lovelies! It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, and it’s been a whiiiile since I’ve posted a chapter review. But, hey, hey, sometimes things happen, so I hope you still remember what it’s all about.
(On a side note, if you want a serious analysis, you can always look at makeste ’s articles <3 )
Amano: *rubs hands* Sooo, we had some 18Suzu last week, and that’s pretty much it for het. Let’s get back to basics.
27Enma fandom: *roars excitedly and kicks everyone around.*
Enma: Behold my sexy, sexy back in this sexy, sexy uniform, while I flick my hands in this arousing manner and gaze lovingly intriguingly around my back at my ratings elevator potential BL interest future BFF Main Hero. Dammit, even my foot looks hot.
Tsuna: I’m not quite sure why, but I’m making my cheerful, harmless, friendly uke tm face.
*Back to the fight of the week, where Tsuna is about to dominate a fodder!beast mcmook.*
*ceiling Tsuna is watching you joke goes here.*
Fodder!beast: You can practically see by my generic beast-like look and personality lacking eyes that’s I’m going to be an important character of this manga. *Makes beast !noises and shows beast!movements.*
Sexy HDW!Tsuna: Your mom. Also, take this. *Melts fodder!beast’s huge, phallic weapon with his hands, and no, I’m not seeing any Freudian analogies here.*
Fodder!beast: Wtf?
Tsuna: I would like to punch you while glaring menacingly and proudly into your eyes, oh miserable nameless villain, alas, my hair is covering my whole face, so I’l just do it in a manly silence.
Fodder!beast: Apparently, I suck. *It does.*
Fodder!beast: I suck a lot. *It does.*
Fodder beast: What else?!
Nuts: I’m a ball of adorable friendly orange fur. I’m going to scare the fuck out of you.
Tsuna: Hey, sucker, I’m here.
Tsuna: And now, I’m going to kill you without talking and even a trace of emotion on my face, because it’s so like me.
Enma: *Meanwhile is emanating some suspicious looking shojo light thing.*
Reborn: Poop.
Tsuna: Woe betide you. *Delivers the punch of doom.*
Fodder!beast: Alas, I am undone. *It is.*
Tsuna: *Lands safely, observes the results.* …Fuck, I’m brutal.
Reborn: Blah blah Pesca family blah blah altered hyper mode blah blah I love my captain exposition hat the most.
Tsuna: WTF were all the words that you just said.
Reborn: As usual, they don’t have any meaning behind them. It doesn’t matter. You do understand, that it’s going to suck a lot for you at the upcoming action arc?
Tsuna: Fucking shit, and here I thought I’ve got some time for NSFW things dating with Kyoko-chan.
Enma: ZOMG, you’re so macho! Be my boyfriend!
Tsuna: Fuck, another fanboy. Enma-kun! Oh my gosh, I got so carried away I completely forgot about you, you know, like it always happens with you during life-and-death battles and spa procedures.
Enma: You were, liek, flying here.
Tsuna: No, that must be all your weed. Blah blah insert a ridiculously lame excuse here.
Enma: I’m going to make it look like I’ve believed this crap, since we’re both in the mafia, you know, and we all already saw Adelheid’s flames and why do I even bother with explanations it’s reborn after all ooooooh is it your cat?
Tsuna: …He has an attention span of a distracted goldfish.
Tsuna: Thanks god he doesn’t think I have a split personality! He just thinks I have a brain of an average three years old, that’s much better!
Nuts: *Is clinging to Enma like a cheap slut.*
Tsuna: Nuts, you whore!
Reborn: I sure do love thinking thought that consist only of dots and ellipses.
Reborn: Also, those Enma’s suspicious shojo lights are suspicious.
Gokudera: *Takes a break from writing a thesis about Shit Pie* THE TENTH WAS ATTACKED WUT!!1111!!1ELEVENONE
Gokudera: skldvnsdlvksdvnlskdvsldkvnsdlvsd Let’s gather everyone, because the speech Yamamoto gave me during that fight with Gamma 140 chapters ago and all that fucking we’ve been doing since roughly the same time have opened me the new view on my behavior and duties!
Reborn: I like sitting on the kitchen stove that does WTF in this classroom. Also, nice attitude.
Gokudera: Of course! I’m the man now! Um, I mean right hand man. So yeah.
Gokudera: Let’s do stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuff! *Runs around in circles being actually efficient and also wears loose pants. What happened, love, we all know you like girljeans?*
Reborn: Yamamoto’s cock sure can perform miracles.
Gokudera: Hey, whatsyourface from the alley family, I think I can think of a use for you!
*Meanwhile in your common convenience store, Chrome, of all people on this earth, has a stalker.*
Chrome: *also has money from wtf sources to buy stuff.*
Chrome: I love walking around looking like I have a loose screw or two.
The goatee dude Julie: The Sixties rock!!
Julie’s phone: *Rings, no doubt with one of the Beatles hits.*
Julie: Yo, what the fuck. Blah blah blah I love talking on the phone and also could actually be quite handsome if I got rid of the goatee and those hipsters’ glasses.
Julie: Ok, gotta go, I have things to do, people to stalk.
Lamp: Dude, you said it in canon, ILU, now don’t disappoint me!
Julie: Also, insert a random mention of Adelheid’s body here. Ooooh, hellou thar, random Namimori chick!
Random chicks: *pass by, could care less.*
Julie: …must stay firm. Hey, where did that board go??
Gokudera: *is a squirrel on crack.* Why isn’t everyone here like My Mightiness ordered them to?!
Random maids: *Are drooling as the average level of hotness sitting in their cafeteria hits the ceiling.*
Tsuna: Weeeeell you see, Hibari couldn’t stand the UST between him and this lady over here isn’t into gatherings in general; who cares about Lambo after all; and as for Chrome, have some explanation.
Gokudera: I could really raise and yell at all of you right now, but I really like the feeling of Yamamoto’s hip squeezed right against me now, so yeah.
Yamamoto: My giant, giant face and I are glad to meet you.
Ryohei: I’m wearing Hibari’s expression, since he’s absent and all.
Suzuki : While our family is having some English tea ceremony looking noble and shit, I’ll tell you why why some members of our family are missing. Blah blah.
Gokudera: Yeah, speaking about shit! Also, let me please present you my new spring collection of adorable faces.
Everyone and their dog: AWWWWWWWW.
Tsuna: I thought you had some stuff to tell us. Yamamoto is going to be a daddy?
Gokudera: Oh, right! *Lights a cigarette or something, to prove he’s not pregnant.*
Gokudera: Blah blah so today Tenth killed a mook, to prevent this from happening again, let’s all come together and protect the tenth AND THE AREA to the extreme!!!11!!1
Lamp: OH MY GOD I’N GOING TO CRY HE’S ALL GROWN UP, I’M SO UNORIGINAL, MAKESTE, SORRY, BUT IT’S THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW, I’M WIPING MY PEARS OF PRIDE, ALSO,
IT’S OLD STYLE DERA, I LOVE YOU AMANO, IT’S THE FUCKING SECOND STYLE OF YOURS, YOUR PREVIOUS AND BEST ONE, I THOUGHT I’LL NEVER SEE THIS STYLE EVER AGAIN, HAYATO LOOKS LIKE A GUY, OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
…
…
…ahem, sorry, was distracted.
Tsuna: While everyone is foaming at their mouth at this hot panel of yours, I’m going to ask you WTF you just said, thus, I’m opening the fresh session of reaction panels.
Suzuki: I’m just going to glare at you, bitch.
Shujin from Bakuman Aoba: Wut?
Gokudera: Me and my flat, wide middle finger are going to tell you that I’ve already thought it out and going to arrange everyone into totally not obvious pairs.
Gokudera: first of all, I’m going to pair my baseball idiot with this big, rough, ugly fellow, just to avoid any possible pairing, you know.
Then there will be a lot of sexing in Namimori, since I’m going to place there Ryohei and his hot canon BL pairing partner that Amano created solely for raising senpai’s popularity, but whatever, and the showed-in-your-face-for-your-convenience hottest couple of the season - Hibari and Suzuki. Please, prepare your nose tampons beforehand.
In Namimori Park, where, you know, there are so many things to protect, we will have Lambo and the fat guy no one cares about.
And Chrome and her stalker are going to be in charge of the other areas around Kokyou, since it’s unrespectable for the right hand man to outright admit that he can’t manage the very locality of his subordinates.
Finally, as you absolutely couldn’t predict, me and Shit Pie are going to be in charge of protecting the Tenth classroom.
Now, if we sum up, under protection we have sport streaks; the third years building; Namimori park; other areas around Kokyou; and Tenth’s classroom. I’m so brilliant I could cover all places in Namimori, leaving behind only absolutely invaluable ones, such as Tenth’s house, for example.
Yamamoto: You’re so smart, Gokudera.
Lamp: Excuse me, but is Yamamoto being sarcastic?! Wtf happened? Apocalypse? Side effects of regular sex life?!
Yamamoto and Ryohei: *Are looking totally smug for some reason. What. The. fuck.*
Tsuna: Ahhh, those freaking out panels never get old!
Aoba: Blah blah I don’t want to take part in this nonsense, also, I’m hot. Amano sure was on roll when she was designing this uniform.
Gokudera: Wut.
Ryohei: As your partner counterpart, I have to react on your words and also blush a little or something.
Gokudera: I’m pulling this really scary delinquent face while talking to you. I have a cat in one of my rings, bitch, and I know how to use it! Blah blah. You’re underneath Vongola, you should bottom.
Aoba: We’re not going to bottom! At least, not all the time.
Ryohei: You said what?!
UST Tension: *Is rising.*
33Aoba fandom: *Runs off to write some fic.*
Tsuna: …I really don’t like the direction of this talk…
The mistress Suzuki: EVERYONE SHUTS THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW.
Aoba: *Obliges his lady.*
Gokudera: *Has cat ears or what? Screw you and your hairstyles Amano, why does it look so adorable why.*
Senpai: *Acts seriously out of character today.*
Tsuna: Er.
Aoba: *Porn sound.*
Suzuki: I’m the only girl in the party, I’m the one talking, and I’m making sense. In Reborn.
Gokudera: Whoa, I have a new idol role model.
Lamp: I need Suzuki & Gokudera gen fic about being right hands. OK, it can be even crack!smut, I don’t care. I like this woman that much.
Tsuna: *Is jealous of Suzuki’s bitch skills.*
Reborn: Mmm, dat ass. *Whistle.* What a woman.
Tsuna: What the fuuuuuuuuck, Reborn, you have a libido? *freaking ooooout* Blah blah working with Shimon, blah blah I don’t know.
Reborn: Shut your trap.
Tsuna: rfdsdfgjsdbgfvdkj
Reborn: There must be something about the family that was introduced so thoroughly in the beginning of new arc.
*Evening in Shimon’s family’s mysterious house down the street.*
*They own a lamp, a fan, a radio and a window. Yay them.*
Suzuki: We’re going to cooperate with Vongola, since we’re invited to the new arc inheritance ceremony, but in our own, Very Mysterious, Shimon way.
The fat guy: I say words.
Aoba: I say words and look down in a sexy manner.
Shit Pie: My outline that Amano’s third assistant has drawn during last minute before the chapter’s deadline doesn’t say any words.
Mountain of muscles that likes baseball: I have a cameo.
Julie: No thanks, I prefer stalking. What can be more awesome than jerking off in a dark alleyway to the withdrawing silhouette of a flat girl in green uniform?!
Aoba: I must disagree with you here!
Julie: Oh shut up. Better then sweating and groping half-naked in the boxing room together with the guy you have the hots for without getting any action!
Aoba: jfbvdskfjvdfvd
The fat guy or who it is, I can’t see on this tiny, tiny panel: Shut up.
Suzuki: Me and my magically shorter strand of hair want to know your opinion on all this crap, Enma.
Enma: I don’t give a fuck.
The fat guy: You’ve got more cuts.[What? Cuts? CUTS?!] And I’ve got a kind heart, as conveniently shows my offer to walk you home.
Julie: I’m a sexy jerk. Now, to get rid of the goatee…
Aoba: Lamp has a glasses fetish.
Suzuki: My horrible, horrible face wants to ask you if you’ve been taking good care of this. You know, this.
Everyone: Yes, ma’am.
Suzuki: I trust everyone but Enma. Show me your that.
Me: Er. It’s like a SM version of Bianchi/Fuuta.
Enma: *Pulls out that.*
Suzuki: I’m hot, I’m capable, I have absurd boobs and awesome fighting skills, your chairman is hot for me and I’m the captain exposition. Blah blah this giant golden egg is the proof you’re the head of Shimon family. Wao.
Enma: *Goes into Dying Will Mode. Woo. I’m surprised. Are you surprised? I’m so surprised.*
In addition, I want to state that I don’t fancy 27Enma. I do, however, fancy 18Suzu. Where’s the fic, dammit?!
I’m having a little vacation now, to cool down after all work and RL stuff, and hope to be back on LJ a little after a week \o/ So I’ll maybe become a little less awful LJ friend and resume commenting on all your entries, lovelies.
That’s all for today,
Lamp.