[Fic] The fine points of online etiquette
Written for khrfest
Prompt: V-49. Yamamoto/Gokudera - cyber sex; Gokudera initiates during a regular chat session with Yamamoto (accidental, no pre-existing relationship)
Title: The fine points of online etiquette.
Text author: Lamp lampazo_libre
Artist: Foxy foxarashi
Pairing: 8059
Wordcount: ~2100.
Rating: R.
A/N: Since all pictures were drawn by Foxy, all art-related comments should go here.
And we certainly had entirely too much fun working on it.
(01:47:15) pitch hitter has signed on.
pitch hitter (01:47:21): Hey
pitch hitter (01:47:46): gokudera are you online
pitch hitter (01:48:01): youre online right?
pitch hitter (01:48:09): gokuderaaaaaa
right hand man (01:48:25): Fuck
right hand man (01:48:38): Can’t you see I’m online?
right hand man (01:48:59): Shit for brains
right hand man (01:49:26): What do you want?
pitch hitter (01:49:28): gokudera!!!!
pitch hitter (01:49:40): haha youre online lol
right hand man (01:49:47): Fuck
pitch hitter (01:49:53): what you’re doing
right hand man (01:50:00): retard
pitch hitter (01:50:02): ?
right hand man (01:50:26): I’m busy.
right hand man (01:50:43): UNLIKE other people
right hand man (01:50:57): What are even you doing online this late?
right hand man (01:51:08): It’s almost 2 am
right hand man (01:51:40): Idiots like you should be sleeping already
pitch hitter (01:51:59): just went online haha
right hand man (01:52:01): after drinking their miiiilk.
pitch hitter (01:52:22): I have drunk my milk! haha
right hand man (01:52:47): Idiot.
right hand man (01:53:11): Bet you’re looking for porn
right hand man (01:53:25): people go online this late only for this
right hand man (01:53:34): or for online sex
pitch hitter (01:53:46): nooo
pitch hitter (01:54:04): I wasn’t looking for porn
pitch hitter (01:54:16): And not for online sex either
pitch hitter (01:54:19): lolol
right hand man (01:54:22): …
right hand man (01:54:28): fucktard
pitch hitter (01:54:32): what are you doing
right hand man (01:54:55): Use punctuation marks, will you?
right hand man (01:55:00): fucking retard
pitch hitter (01:55:09): haha okay
pitch hitter (01:55:17): what are you doing
right hand man (01:55:22): FUCK
right hand man (01:55:37): Nothing that should concern you.
pitch hitter (01:55:52): Gokudera is looking for porn? :D
right hand man (01:55:58): WHAT
right hand man (01:56:03): FUCK NO
right hand man (01:56:06): YOU ASSHOLE
right hand man (01:56:08): ASSHOLE
pitch hitter (01:56:19): but gokudera said it
right hand man (01:56:32): WHAT DID I SAY?
pitch hitter (01:56:56): that people either search for porn or have online sex this late
pitch hitter (01:56:59): oh
pitch hitter (01:57:06): you are having it now
right hand man (01:57:14): WHY YOU LITTLE
pitch hitter (01:57:17): sorry for interrupting
right hand man (01:57:18): SHIT!!!!!
right hand man (01:57:29): I’m not having any of it now
right hand man (01:57:45): I’m only speaking to you now, fuckface
right hand man (01:57:48): fuck
pitch hitter (01:57:59): Are you going to have it with me then?
pitch hitter (01:58:01): O_O
right hand man (01:58:15): YOU FUCKING GODDAMN BRAINLESS ASSWIPE
right hand man (01:58:17): FUCK
right hand man (01:58:19): NO
right hand man (01:58:21): NEVER
right hand man (01:58:23): IN MY LIFE
right hand man (01:58:26): YOU FUCKING FAG
pitch hitter (01:58:27): but gokudera
right hand man (01:58:29): YOU SICK FUCK
right hand man (01:58:34): I KNEW YOU WERE HOMO
pitch hitter (01:58:39): but gokudera I just asked
right hand man (01:58:57): USE FUCKING PUNKTUATION MARKS, YOU IDIOT!!!!!!
pitch hitter (01:59:03): gokudera
pitch hitter (01:59:19): I think youre overacting lol
right hand man (01:59:20): ASS PIRATE
pitch hitter (01:59:27): gokudera youre so funny
pitch hitter (01:59:29): haha
right hand man (01:59:32): Fuck.
pitch hitter (01:59:44): I’m sure you wouldn’t do it
right hand man (01:59:53): hell yes I wouldn’t
pitch hitter (01:59:57): and it couldn’t work
pitch hitter (02:00:09): gokudera turning me on and such
right hand man (02:00:17): what?
right hand man (02:00:31): I could turn you on like no tomorrow, pussy
right hand man (02:00:40): I just wouldn’t do it
right hand man (02:00:46): Because it’s gross
pitch hitter (02:00:51): haha I’m not sure :D
right hand man (02:01:07): And I’m SURE you have brain damage if you’re not sure that it’s gross
pitch hitter (02:01:15): no no
pitch hitter (02:01:17): lol
pitch hitter (02:01:29): I’m not sure about gokudera being able to turn me on
pitch hitter (02:01:31): haha
right hand man (02:01:45): I COULD MAKE YOU MOAN LIKE A LITTLE GIRL, IDIOT, DON’T YOU DARE DOUBT ME
pitch hitter (02:01:58): but I’m not a little girl
pitch hitter (02:02:00): :D
right hand man (02:02:13): WATCH ME, YAMAMOTO.
right hand man (02:02:20): I’m doing it only once.
right hand man (02:02:29): And it has NOTHING to do with my sexuality.
right hand man (02:02:36): because I’m STRAIGHT.
pitch hitter (02:02:39): ???
right hand man (02:02:48): Pants off!
pitch hitter (02:02:53): what?
right hand man (02:03:06): I’m going to prove you that I’m right
right hand man (02:03:16): God knows why I’m even bothering
right hand man (02:03:18): so
right hand man (02:03:23): GET READY
pitch hitter (02:03:30): gokudera I don’t think I get it
right hand man (02:03:38): I’m not surprised
right hand man (02:03:45): You hardly ever get anything
right hand man (02:03:48): retard
right hand man (02:03:59): take off your pants
pitch hitter (02:04:02): eh?
pitch hitter (02:04:08): what for?
right hand man (02:04:16): because you’re going to JERK YOURSELF OFF, IDIOT!
pitch hitter (02:04:19): gokudera
right hand man (02:04:28): DON’T FUCKING ARGUE WITH ME
right hand man (02:04:36): do you have any lotion? Hand cream?
pitch hitter (02:04:39): ok :D
pitch hitter (02:04:46): hand lotion?
right hand man (02:04:58): YES FUCKING HAND LOTION
right hand man (02:05:09): WHAT DO YOU USE USUALLY WHEN YOU MASTURBATE YOU BRAINLESS JOCK
right hand man (02:05:20): GOD FUCK WHAT AM I DOING
pitch hitter (02:05:55): I have hand cream
right hand man (02:05:58): fuck
right hand man (02:06:05): congratulations
right hand man (02:06:15): now take off your pants or whatever
pitch hitter (02:06:22): but I don’t have pants :D
pitch hitter (02:06:28): I’m sitting in boxers only
pitch hitter (02:06:33): it’s really hot in our house
right hand man (02:06:36): fffffuck
right hand man (02:06:41): no shirt even?
pitch hitter (02:06:45): nooope
right hand man (02:06:56): take off your boxers then
right hand man (02:06:59): idiot
pitch hitter (02:06:00): ok
pitch hitter (02:06:10): but the rubber chafes my thighs like that
pitch hitter (02:06:20): should I take them off completely
right hand man (02:06:22): oh my god you actually did it, didn’t you?
right hand man (02:06:25): fuck fuck fiuckkk
pitch hitter (02:06:29): gokudera are you ok
right hand man (02:06:40): I’m fine
right hand man (02:06:49): now, take your dick in hand
pitch hitter (02:06:52): er
pitch hitter (02:07:00): I’m not hard
pitch hitter (02:07:13): and the door is unlocked
right hand man (02:07:19): you brainless being, it didn’t bother you before?!
right hand man (02:07:25): go and close it!
pitch hitter (02:07:28): ok brb
right hand man (02:07:29): I can’t believe I’m doing it
pitch hitter (02:08:01): back here :D
right hand man (02:08:07): You know, I don’t think it’s actually a good idea after all
pitch hitter (02:08:14): gokudera is backing out
right hand man (02:08:19): fuck no!
right hand man (02:08:25): ok fine whatever
right hand man (02:08:34): and use goddamn punctuation marks, for fuck’s sake!
right hand man (02:08:38): oh god fuck
right hand man (02:08:43): what a terrible pun
right hand man (02:08:47): this is so stupid
pitch hitter (02:08:49): gokudera
pitch hitter (02:08:52): are you okay
right hand man (02:08:59): Peachy!
pitch hitter (02:09:06): so what to do next
right hand man (02:09:14): I told you
right hand man (02:09:20): touch yourself
pitch hitter (02:09:29): but I’m still not hard
right hand man (02:09:33): fuck
right hand man (02:09:39): just fucking grab your cock and listen to me!
pitch hitter (02:09:43): did it :D
right hand man (02:10:00): oh sweet god you’re actually holding your crotch in your hand?
pitch hitter (02:10:04): yes?
right hand man (02:10:08): fuckkkkk
right hand man (02:10:13): now, imagine
right hand man (02:10:25): what gets you hard when you do it?
pitch hitter (02:10:29): hm
pitch hitter (02:10:50): mmmm
right hand man (02:10:59): are you doing it already?
pitch hitter (02:11:10): yesssssssssss
right hand man (02:11:13): fffffffuck
right hand man (02:11:21): what are thinking about?
right hand man (02:11:29): hey
right hand man (02:11:34): Yamamoto!
right hand man (02:11:37): Answer me!
pitch hitter (02:11:40): no can do
right hand man (02:11:43): What
pitch hitter (02:11:45): mmm
pitch hitter (02:11:52): what are you wearing?
right hand man (02:12:03): What the hell does it have to do with everything?
pitch hitter (02:12:06): mmmmmm
pitch hitter (02:12:09): tell me
right hand man (02:12:15): Sweatpants and white shirt, fuck, now answer me!
right hand man (02:12:24): Jerk, hey!
pitch hitter (02:12:29): nooo gokduera will hit me
right hand man (02:12:34): fuck you
right hand man (02:12:41): I’ll definitely hit you if you wont answer
right hand man (02:12:45): Idiot
pitch hitter (02:12:59): nnnn
pitch hitter (02:13:14): I’m thinking about gokudera touching me there
right hand man (02:13:17): say what
right hand man (02:13:32): WHAT
right hand man (02:13:38): YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT
right hand man (02:13:41): ZSJDFGHSK DJFGHSKDJFHSKDJGSKJ FGSKDJFHKDJFGS KDFS
right hand man (02:13:49): YOU FUCKING FREAK I KNEW YOU WERE A GAYLORD AFTER ALL
right hand man (02:14:29): fuck
right hand man (02:14:36): so what am I doing exactly?
pitch hitter (02:14:47): gokudera?
right hand man (02:14:55): No, the Queen of England!
right hand man (02:14:59): Fuck
right hand man (02:15:02): So
right hand man (02:15:08): What are you imagining exactly?
pitch hitter (02:15:17): noo
right hand man (02:15:23): what
right hand man (02:15:26): why?
pitch hitter (02:15:41): gokudera freaked out already
right hand man (02:15:50): we’ll talk about you being gay later
right hand man (02:16:01): now, you’re going to jerk yourself off while telling me what I was doing in your dreams
right hand man (02:16:05): in details
pitch hitter (02:16:12): but doesn’t it make you gay too?
right hand man (02:16:16): I NEVER SAID IT
right hand man (02:16:19): I’m just curious.
pitch hitter (02:16:25): oh, ok :D :D
right hand man (02:16:30): what’s so fucking funny about it?
pitch hitter (02:16:37): haha nothing
pitch hitter (02:16:42): absolutely nothing :D
right hand man (02:16:47): fuck you, Yamamoto, WHAT’S SO FUNNY
pitch hitter (02:17:20): so I’m imagining you sitting on my lap, kissing me, and having your hands on my cock
pitch hitter (02:17:27): I’m squeezing your ass
pitch hitter (02:17:32): you’re really light, and
pitch hitter (02:17:36): your hands are sweaty
pitch hitter (02:17:40): I’m kissing your neck
pitch hitter (02:17:42): mmmmmm
pitch hitter (02:17:48): your eyes are almost closed
pitch hitter (02:17:49): and
pitch hitter (02:17:58): awww
right hand man (02:18:06): fuuuuuck
pitch hitter (02:18:42): nnnnnnnnnnnnn
right hand man (02:18:51): fuckkkk
right hand man (02:18:59): am
right hand man (02:19:09): igood in
right hand man (02:19:14): jerking you
right hand man (02:19:21): off?
pitch hitter (02:19:39): yesssss
right hand man (02:20:01): are you going to just grope me
right hand man (02:20:09): or dosometh ing about
right hand man (02:20:13): itt
pitch hitter (02:20:19): will you let mmme
right hand man (02:20:28): fuuck
right hand man (02:20:33): do it
pitch hitter (02:20:42): I’m licking my fingeer slow ly
pitch hitter (02:20:45): and
pitch hitter (02:20:52): put it in
right hand man (02:21:05): ohsweetfu
right hand man (02:21:08): ck
pitch hitter (02:21:18): odes it feel
pitch hitter (02:21:21): good??
right hand man (02:21:40): fuckkk;sd yesss
right hand man (02:21:51): dont stop yamamo
right hand man (02:21:54): what next
pitch hitter (02:22:01): ohhhhhhh
pitch hitter (02:22:05): mmm
right hand man (02:22:09): jesusfuckkld
pitch hitter (02:22:19): kiss you neck
pitch hitter (02:22:23): kissyouu
right hand man (02:22:31): do italready
right hand man (02:22:35): lazyfuckk
pitch hitter (02:22:40): ohhh
pitch hitter (02:22:47): you’re sitting downon my cock
pitch hitter (02:22:52): ohhgokuderaa
right hand man (02:22:59): fuckkkkkkkkkdfl;ls
right hand man (02:23:01): sweet
right hand man (02:23:03): god
pitch hitter (02:23:21): mmmmmmmm
pitch hitter (02:23:27): Gpokudeera
pitch hitter (02:23:34): you feel amazzing
pitch hitter (02:23:40): youre so tig
pitch hitter (02:23:43): ght gokuderaa
right hand man (02:23:51): fucking helll
right hand man (02:23:55): yamamoto
right hand man (02:24:05): FUCKKKK
pitch hitter (02:24:09): you’re sogood
pitch hitter (02:24:27): your hairtickles my face
pitch hitter (02:24:29): ohhhhh
pitch hitter (02:24:32): I’mnot
pitch hitter (02:24:34): mmmmmmmm
right hand man (02:24:40): fuckm e
right hand man (02:24:42): haarder
pitch hitter (02:24:46): HAYATO
right hand man (02:25:03): yamamoto fuck
right hand man (02:25:06): are you
right hand man (02:25:08): oh fuccccsk
right hand man (02:25:11): CHRIst
pitch hitter (02:25:54): Gokudera?
pitch hitter (02:26:00): are you here?
pitch hitter (02:26:02): oh
pitch hitter (02:26:03): …
pitch hitter (02:26:14): I think we need to talk
pitch hitter (02:26:25): I’m going to your place
pitch hitter (02:26:31): be there in 15 minutes
(02:26:35) pitch hitter has signed off
right hand man (02:26:59): Yamamoto
right hand man (02:27:06): what?!
right hand man (02:27:08): wait
right hand man (02:27:11): OH SHIT
Omake.
