[Fic] A Question Of Validation
Written for 8059challenge
Author: Lampazo
Prompt: 134. Anywhere Squalo and Xanxus can walk in on them.
Title: A Question of Validation.
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Characters/Pairings: 8059, extras.
Rating: R, NC-17.
Worksafe: NO.
Wordcount: 3200.
Beta: I honestly don’t know what so good I had done in my previous life, but awesome, brilliant saying_sooth is my beta.
A/N: A direct sequel to my “A Question Of Persuasion”, so you have to read that one first to know what the hell is going on.
Also, insanity strikes again. You’re warned.
“Um.” Hayato said eloquently and thought, “What the fuck.”
“I won’t repeat myself!” Yelled the man and repeated, “Have you already fucked my baby brother?!”
So much for introductions.
After obtaining Hayato’s marital consent in a rather peculiar way, Prince Yamamoto immediately jumped on the obligatory white horse and gracefully moved off into sunset, leaving the female staff of the palace in a state of permanent swooning dizziness. As for Hayato, he was torn between the desire to plop down at the desk, filthy parallels be damned, and write a uncompromising and preferably rude refusal letter; and the desire to promptly grab the nearest horse and proceed to chase Prince Yamamoto, screaming to never leave him again, forever and ever.
From the second night after Prince Yamamoto’s departure, Hayato started to have recurring dreams of alterable intensity, but always including himself, Prince Yamamoto, Prince Yamamoto’s blue frock coat or lack thereof, and a whole variety of situations highly inappropriate for minors. More often then not, the intensity of the dreams resulted in an abrupt awakening and dirty sheets. The general awkwardness of the situation was lifted to a whole new height by the fact that Hayato’s chambermaids were changing his sheets every morning. Adding all this to the catcalls that his own noble retinue was giving him every time he entered his meeting hall, the amount of sexual and non-sexual frustration was reaching truly impressive scales. So, these days he mostly was locking himself up in his boudoir; venting his emotions through finding creative, original ways of annihilating multiple letters from princesses, offended by Prince Yamamoto’s disappearance from the marriage market.
One week and three days after Prince Yamamoto’s departure, Hayato was happily making his way though the third enraged letter since morning, when the sound of a door colliding with the wall disturbed his merry thoughts. An excitedly looking, tall thin man with the most long silver hair Hayato ever had the doubtful pleasure to witness, stomped into the boudoir, and while Hayato was inhaling to ask politely what the hell the man was actually doing here, the man took opportunity to start first.
“VOOOOOOOOOIIIIII,” Screamed the man, “Hey brat, have you already fucked my baby brother?!”
“Um.” Hayato said eloquently and thought, “What the fuck.”
“I won’t repeat myself!” Yelled the man and repeated, “Have you already fucked my baby brother?!”
So much for introductions.
Feeling confused, Hayato honestly mentally flipped through a dossier of his vis-à-vis, impressive in size since that long ago time when he had reached puberty. Maybe a few of them were someone’s baby brothers, but it still wasn’t excuse enough for random folk to intrude into his boudoir and scream on the top of their lungs.
While Hayato and the man were busy staring at each other, the door opened again to let in a very aggravated looking Fuuta. Hayato was wondering what had gotten his sister’s personal minion so flustered, when Fuuta shrieked, “Your Majesty, King Squalo, stop, please!”
Oh. This brother.
Smiling in a slightly dirty way and looking involuntarily in the direction of the desk, Hayato contemplated asking the honorable king Squalo whether or not a blowjob counted as a fuck. Well, maybe the way he was smiling was not slightly dirty, because King Squalo darkened greatly in the face and roared, “VOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIII, don’t fuck with me, brat!”
Hayato was about to inform King Squalo what a terrible pun he had accidentally given birth to, when King Squalo suddenly extracted a freakishly big sword from freaking nowhere and pointed it straight at Hayato’s face. “I asked a question.”
Accompanied by Fuuta’s incoherent squeaking, Hayato stared at the sword and then at Squalo with a rather dumb expression.
Apparently, he was on a roll today, because at this moment the sound of the door smacking into the wall indicated another visitor. Panting from the run and looking sexily flushed, there was Prince Yamamoto, standing in all the glory of his persona. Regardless of any swords that were poked into his face, Hayato felt an interested twitching in his cock.
It seemed like he wasn’t destined to talk today, because while he was opening his mouth to yell at Prince Yamamoto or maybe King Squalo or maybe both, Squalo reacted first.
“VOOOOIII, the fuck are you doing here?!”
“I heard that you had headed for Hayato’s kingdom,” Yamamoto explained and added in a particularly girlfriend voice, “Hi, Hayato.”
Hayato grimaced.
“So what?!” - Yelled Squalo, who seemed to be unable to use lesser tones, “Me and the brat,” he waved his sword in immediate proximity of Hayato’s face, “Have some business to discuss.”
“What business?! The hell are you doing here?!” Moaned Yamamoto, and then he gasped as if struck by epiphany. “Oh my God, the sword! You attacked him!”
Hayato couldn’t help but roll his eyes, and then out of the blue Yamamoto took out his sword once again from freaking nowhere and jumped at Squalo.
“Too slow, brat! Your swordplay is still shit!” Exclaimed Squalo, blocking Yamamoto’s sword with his own, and performing some weird movements that Hayato qualified as a counterattack.
“We’ll see, brother! En garde!” Yamamoto laughed back, making a movement that Hayato immediately claimed physically impossible, and looking unreasonably awesome in process.
Hayato watched, mouth agape, as two main members of the faraway kingdom’s royal family hopped around his boudoir like two billy goats. It all made absolutely no sense, but, Hayato noted sourly, it seemed that “making no sense” wasn’t seen as an obstacle in this family.
Stepping back, Squalo hit a vase standing near the window, and it collided with the floor with a sorrowful bang. Screw four or five digit price range, Hayato liked this vase!
“Hey fuckers!” He screamed, well-mannered prince as he was, “watch it!”
It looked like his words didn’t reach their destinations at all. The royal duo continued to enthusiastically poke swords in each other’s direction like a pair of retards, and seemed to genuinely enjoy themselves.
Hayato cleared his throat for an epic intervention, but apparently it wasn’t his day, because at this moment the door creaked open again, and Her Majesty Queen Bianchi graced the boudoir with her presence and a loud “The fuck you are doing here?!”
Of course. The question of the hour.
As he crouched over in twisting stomach pain, Hayato heard Fuuta’s reverent “Your mask, Your Majesty!”
Rolling on the floor, Hayato waited for cramps to subside a little, thinking how he hated everything and everyone right now. Finally feeling decent enough to look around, he saw all the gang crowded around him with idiotic expressions -of course, the half-mask on his sister’s face left him with wild guesses about her exact expression, but actually he had no doubts. Trying to lift himself a little, he got a mouthful of hair - both silver and pink, and decided that enough was enough.
“Holy SHIT! You bunch of psychos!” Cried out Hayato, although the fact that he was lying on the floor with everyone hovering above him somewhat muffled the desired menace in his speech.
“The fuck are YOU ALL fucking doing here?! Everyone out!”
Finally standing on his feet, he tried to adjust himself while glaring at surrounding party. “Are you still here? I said OUT.”
It all could turn out to become the most epic scandal ever, what with all the participants, but thankfully, his sister decided to let out a dignified hmph and leave the battle ground; Squalo apparently had some brain cells not meant for screaming obscenities or pointing sharp objects at surrounding people, so he followed the suit. Prince Yamamoto, of course, idiotic as he was, attempted to struggle and say something moronic, but thankfully, Fuuta finally resolved to make himself useful, and more than anything dragged Yamamoto out of boudoir. Finally, Hayato was left in blissful solitude.
--
Two hours and a couple glasses of wine later, Hayato in his bedroom - he had retreated from the boudoir that had recently became kind of place of doom for him - was desperately trying and failing miserably to not think at all.
Squalo and the crew were chilling with his sister, nominally discussing the details of the upcoming marriage, but, Hayato suspected, more like bragging on whose hair was prettier. Hayato excused himself from attending the party, and, thank God, Basil didn’t insist, apparently after paying some ear service to Fuuta.
So, it left Hayato free for soaking in self-pity for the upcoming long, insufferable life, spent with sexually preoccupied princes and their mentally unstable crowned brothers. Midway through another lengthy thought about said long, insufferable life spent with sexually preoccupied princes and their mentally unstable crowned brothers, he heard a rather insistent knock at the window.
Getting a horrible sense of déjà vu, Hayato stealthily approached said window and, true enough, found the carefree face of one Prince Yamamoto, busy blowing kisses his way. Feeling some vague gag reflex, Hayato still had to admit the fact that his bedroom was next to his boudoir and therefore was still located on the fourth floor; so he had nothing else to do than to open the goddamn window and let Yamamoto in, simultaneously trying to peek once again on what the hell the prince was holding onto. But it appeared nothing was attached either to the wall or Prince Yamamoto, so the honorable prince either was an undercover ninja or he simply ignored the law of gravitation. Both options looked equally creepy.
Looking at Yamamoto brushing off his frock coat - green this time, Hayato felt a familiar urge that he seemed to obtain every time the prince appeared in his field of view: a desire to either deck the idiot’s face or immediately jump his sorry bones. Preferably both. Sighing and settling for neither, Hayato thought that he wasn’t the one to break tradition. So he asked, “The fuck are you doing here?!”
“I missed you.” Yamamoto said simply, “Besides, I wanted to apologize for, you know, today.”
It was so easy, it wasn’t even sporting.
“Yeah, you’d better,” Snarled Hayato, “What was with this circus anyway?!”
“Ahaha, well,” laughed Yamamoto, smiling in that lame and sexy way of his, “My brother has some… issues. Anger management issues, relationship issues, self-control issues…” He started to distractedly count on fingers. “Uh, speech issues…”
“I got it, got it!” Impatiently waved Hayato, “The king of the faraway kingdom is a complete nutcase. The hell it has to do with me?!”
Yamamoto started to hem and haw. “Well, he, um, is trying to protect me? Or something?” Looking at Hayato’s sarcastically raised brow, he added hurriedly, “Look, can we drop this topic? I really missed you.”
Hayato snorted. “You seemed happy enough jumping around with your sword.”
Yamamoto’s already shining eyes started to shine a million times brighter; the thing that simultaneously pissed Hayato off and oddly turned him on. “Are you,” mildly asked Yamamoto with a particularly shit-eating smile, “jealous of my sword?”
Hayato nearly choked. “Of course not! Idiot!” He huffed, folded his arms and turned away from the prince, because he clearly wouldn’t face the bastard who dared to advance such absurd, idiotic theories. Clearly.
Tapping his foot on the carpet and making a pouty face that his sister would be proud of, Hayato half expected Yamamoto to take the not so subtle clue and make his leave, but instead long, warm fingers squeezed his hips from behind.
“I really, really missed you,” - whispered Yamamoto directly in back of Hayato’s neck. Selected bits of Hayato’s anatomy instantly reacted. “You can’t imagine how many times I dreamed about you, kissing your lips, your neck, your collarbone…”
Hayato wisely decided not to inform the prince that he so could imagine that. “I dreamed of making love with you in your boudoir, on your desk… Sliding my hands down your body like this,” Continued the prince, illustrating his words with gentle, teasing gestures, “Undressing you, feeling your smooth skin, testing the inside of you, watching you swallowing me whole, letting you ride me, cherishing your perfect body…” Yamamoto’s hands fiddled with the top button of Hayato’s shirt “I’m besotted with you, Hayato,” Yamamoto exhaled huskily into Hayato’s ear, and undid the button, “I need you. May I?”
“No, and fuck off” would be a perfect answer, but Hayato at the moment had serious problems thinking straight, what with his overexcited bits having a major riot in his pants. Deciding that he would make a point of being above this later, he let out an incoherent, but rather eloquent gulp, and turned his head in other’s direction, planting a not exactly chaste kiss on Yamamoto’s dry and warm lips. Apparently, it was all reaction the prince needed, because the next moment Hayato found himself pushed face first on the bed, with a horny pile of bricks landing above him.
Marking various parts of Hayato’s backside with feverish kisses, prince chose not to bother with details and went straight to the point, rolling down Hayato’s pants and rubbing against his freshly bare ass. Panting and seeing Yamamoto undoing his pants as well and extracting a bottle of lube once again from freaking nowhere, Hayato couldn’t force himself to be surprised, because clearly this family made a point of defying general laws of physics.
Stroking his own cock a couple of times with a dangerously sexy wet sound, the prince bent down to Hayato, and, without any further preambles, went in. Hayato’s vision shattered into a million tiny sparkling pieces, partly from pain and partly from shock, because in his world polite people didn’t intrude in other people’s asses without notification. Regardless, Yamamoto started to move enthusiastically; and, as delicious stingy pleasure started to rise into his belly, Hayato wisely decided to push back the sexual etiquette lecture to a more appropriate time.
Wincing and moaning in decidedly wanton ways, Hayato distractedly noticed random noises from the boudoir. “Seriously,” he thought, “no private life, these days.”
The unmistakable sound of heavy boots colliding with expensive wood caused Yamamoto to stop mid-friction, and the flushed pair raised their heads to behold King Squalo, stomping into the bedroom in all his angry pretty-haired glory, shutting the door directly into faces of two very interested lackeys.
“VOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIII brat, you haven’t answered my question,” Started King Squalo with already familiar yelling, and suddenly stopped mid-step. “OH HOLY SHIT YOU ARE FUCKING NOW.”
And here Hayato thought that he had already experienced absolute humiliation.
“Hi, Squalo,” Greeted Yamamoto good-naturedly.
“VOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIII the fuck my baby brother fucks you, you little bastard?!”
“Great,” thought Hayato, “In case someone in the castle hadn’t heard the first time.”
While he tried to come up with the answer to the last question, the answer that would let him face the next day, and preferably with a proudly raised head - which seemed highly unlikely considering the fact he was currently trapped in his own bedroom with two members of faraway kingdom, being thoroughly screwed by one member and facing the wrath of the other, obviously mentally disturbed, member - the door banged opened once again.
A tall, impossibly thin, jet-black haired woman in an uncompromisingly long black dress with the highest slit Hayato ever saw, entered the room with a glass of red wine and a flawlessly bored expression.
“Hello, Xanxus.” Squeaked Yamamoto, and then Hayato’s ability to experience any emotions promptly died for the rest of his life, reducing him to a listless bystander. They had just broken the world record in category of royal persons per square meter, and being the one in the room with a cock up his ass didn’t help matters any. Yes, apparently Yamamoto didn’t possess enough brain cells to at least pull out his dick in the company of his crowned brother and said brother’s equally crowned wife. Some part of Hayato’s brain wished he wore his own crown right now - it would be, at least, kinkier.
The woman, though, didn’t spare them a single glance. Turning to Squalo, she rolled her eyes with distaste. “You absolutely,” she sighed, “piss me off. What the hell are you doing here?”
“VOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, fucking wife,” Exploded King Squalo, nervously waving around his sword, “Don’t interfere! Can’t you see? I’m busy!”
The queen sighed again, and then, not aiming and not even looking, threw her glass at the king. The glass collided with royal head with a loud, happy sound.
“I asked a question,” Deadpanned Xanxus, still looking bored out of her mind.
Between gaping, Hayato decided that Squalo could be the king, but the faraway kingdom’s political system obviously was matriarchal.
“VOOOOOOIIIIII, what the fuck!” Yelled Squalo, shaking his hair in doomed attempt to throw away little bits of expensive crystal.
Hayato sourly admitted that living with sexually preoccupied princes and their mentally unstable crowned brothers would be a piece of cake compared to living with sexually preoccupied princes, their mentally unstable crowned brothers and scary abusive crowned wives of mentally unstable crowned brothers.
“You’re so pathetic,” Stated the queen nonchalantly. Approaching her husband, she effortlessly wrapped a strand of his hair around her hand and pulled. “We’re getting out of here.”
Dragging the neurotically twitching and cursing king of faraway kingdom to the door, Xanxus paused for a moment and briefly observed Yamamoto and Hayato with an indifferently fastidious grimace, before closing the door behind herself and her whining husband.
Yamamoto, brilliant boy as he was, chose this particular moment to start moving and finally pull his parts out of Hayato. Hayato, in his turn, stared at the door mouth agape for a couple of seconds, and then turned around to face Yamamoto with a primitively feral expression.
Trained for years to sense sheer killing intent, Yamamoto tried to flash a shaky smile. “Ahhhahahhaha-Hayato, I think it’s time to me to go as well.”
“Oh hell no.” Growled Hayato and slowly crawled on top of Yamamoto with a wicked grin. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Ha-Hayato!” Stammered Yamamoto and loudly groaned in a decidedly arousing manner when Hayato lowered himself onto him in one confident movement. Yamamoto’s expression clearly implied that he had seen a couple of stars just now, and Hayato almost cried out himself, but he would be damned if he wouldn’t finish this.
“You.” He whispered into Yamamoto’s ear, punctuating every word with long, hard, agonizingly pleasurable friction. “Are. Absolutely. Crazy.”
Yamamoto’s shaking fingers scratched up Hayato’s back. Hayato moved in silence for a while, wincing but refusing to go faster.
“So is,” Continued Hayato slowly, panting violently against Yamamoto’s low moans, “your family. I’m going to end like that too, it seems.” He gasped, barely teetering at edge of orgasm at the sight of Yamamoto’s unfocused, flat eyes and drops of saliva, starting to collect in corners of his mouth.
Yamamoto’s hands frantically grabbed Hayato’s ass, trying to make him move faster, but payback truly was a bitch, so Hayato bit his lip and, ignoring the blinding tightening in his balls, resolved himself to finish.
“If I’m going to lose my mind, I might as well enjoy myself,” The pressure inside of him started to become intolerable, and it looked that Yamamoto couldn’t tell his own name at the moment, “So from now on,” Hayato exhaled and forcefully pushed himself down as far as he could, “You will be my fucking little pony.”
Yamamoto’s orgasmic moan could be heard all around the palace.
A/N2: …So yeah. My brain works in strange ways. Random Hayato-kicking, Yamamoto on crack, Squalo abuse, genben!Xanxus, and on top of all that fucking ponies wont leave me alone.
I don’t even know what genre it is. Porn to crack and back.
At least it has some Gokudera fucking the hell out of Yamamoto even with a dick up his ass. Oh, long frictions, weapon of mass annihilation. >)