My life from last time I posted...
I just spent $65...
Why?
Because I just bought a bus ticket to Hamilton, Ont. Why? My life needs perspective again.
This semester has literally been the semester from hell. I can't focus, I can't grasp anything, I haven't even been able to write since the end of the summer. I feel that I need a much needed (3 years in the making) vacation home. That and I need to start seeing what I need to set up my life there after I graduate. Yes... I'm going back. Why? Because I feel like I'm wasting my life here. I've been coasting for so long and need to stop, take a step back, and see where I need to go.
While I've done so much for myself (writing, acting, acting harder) I don't feel like any of it was FOR myself. It was always at the approval of others, always just to get one good reaction from someone... who ever that person may have been that day. I need to change that. I need to figure out how to live my life for myself.
And I think, even if it's temporary, going back to Hamilton while help me grasp who I was, and who I'm going to be. It's definitely going to be a change. People mostly aren't how I remember them... I've never seen the "working" Hamilton before, but... I know I like it there. And I know I once knew myself there. Hopefully it'll give me a jump in the right direction. I'm not going for good this winter, I'm only going for a few weeks, most likely until school starts up again. I need to finish school. It's the one thing that's holding me back from going right now. However, if I feel that I may be stuck for longer then wanted here at UMASS LOL, then I'm going to transfer to a school up there. It took a lot of thinking, but that's the decision I came up with.
No turning back now.
Why?
Because I just bought a bus ticket to Hamilton, Ont. Why? My life needs perspective again.
This semester has literally been the semester from hell. I can't focus, I can't grasp anything, I haven't even been able to write since the end of the summer. I feel that I need a much needed (3 years in the making) vacation home. That and I need to start seeing what I need to set up my life there after I graduate. Yes... I'm going back. Why? Because I feel like I'm wasting my life here. I've been coasting for so long and need to stop, take a step back, and see where I need to go.
While I've done so much for myself (writing, acting, acting harder) I don't feel like any of it was FOR myself. It was always at the approval of others, always just to get one good reaction from someone... who ever that person may have been that day. I need to change that. I need to figure out how to live my life for myself.
And I think, even if it's temporary, going back to Hamilton while help me grasp who I was, and who I'm going to be. It's definitely going to be a change. People mostly aren't how I remember them... I've never seen the "working" Hamilton before, but... I know I like it there. And I know I once knew myself there. Hopefully it'll give me a jump in the right direction. I'm not going for good this winter, I'm only going for a few weeks, most likely until school starts up again. I need to finish school. It's the one thing that's holding me back from going right now. However, if I feel that I may be stuck for longer then wanted here at UMASS LOL, then I'm going to transfer to a school up there. It took a lot of thinking, but that's the decision I came up with.
No turning back now.