Since its officially the last day of summer break...
I figured I'd post about my summer.
Mostly, it sucked balls. I was miserable for about 2/3's of it.
The first third was amazing to say the least. I really enjoyed my self. I had alot of fun. It was great. The mid-third portion of it sucked, and that's all I'm going to say about it.
The last third (or the home stretch...thats a fun way of putting it) was much better then the middle. I came to terms with things. Got a new guitar (who I've yet to name...I should get on that...a guitar without a name is much like a soldier with out a gun...it just needs it). I've made amends (mostly) with people I've been having issues with. Old situations ended which I'm very glad for. And I made a new friend...who I wonder if she'll stick around as the brunt of my emotions have been layed on her lap. Gratned, she's kind of annoying...but still...I've been kind of an ass. I just tend to be an ass to the wrong people. I've been trying to write again. Anything that pops into my mind get put down somewhere. Even if I end up losing it or throwing it out. I'm trying not to clutter my mind with anything irrelevant. Trying to stay focused on the game that has rules I don't even understand. But who does? Who really understands what we're supposed to do. People will say I'm doing the wrong thing...but what do they know? No one actually knows what's good or bad until the consequences are known. And even then, it's never black and white. Everything is shrouded in shades of never ending greys. And what can we do about it? Nothing. So I say, hold on cause its likely to be a bumpy ride. And when its not, I laugh and say "never hurts to be safe".
Basically, I spent alot of my summer thinking. As Not alot of people I hang out with at school are willing to, or don't have the money to, or can't come because of this or that. So I spent alot of my time listening to Coldplay, trying to get a grip on things that probably aren't worth getting a grip onto.
How do I know they're not worth it? I don't. And thats my point. The ridiculous amounts of uncertanty that run through everyones lives are fucking amazing! Part of me loves to wonder about whats coming next. But part of me wants to know if its going to be that basket of fruit we're all waiting for...or that kick in the balls none of us want coming.
And when you figure out what IS coming, what do you do to stop it? Nothing. We do absolutely nothing, because we KNOW its futile. So we get beat, stomped, picked back up, huged, then kicked again. Its funny how things work. The way I see it, why be stressed in this miserable blip of an exsistance, when you can enjoy the time you have and get on with the short lives we're leading?
Unfortunately, it's human nature to make things worse for your self without even realising it. And thats how it goes.
And thats what I spent my time thinking about. Today is the last day of summer. I have to pack, do laundry, probably argue with my grandmother one last time because she doesn't let anything die.
I can't be rid of this place. I can't wait to get back to school and overwhelm myself with friends and loved ones. I need it. I live for it. And I can't wait to do it for the next 10 months.
Hopefully not long after college I'll have my own place. It'll probably be in Lowell at first, then I'll figure stuff out from there. But we'll see.
See most of you (if not all) either Monday or Tuesday.
Bye!
Mostly, it sucked balls. I was miserable for about 2/3's of it.
The first third was amazing to say the least. I really enjoyed my self. I had alot of fun. It was great. The mid-third portion of it sucked, and that's all I'm going to say about it.
The last third (or the home stretch...thats a fun way of putting it) was much better then the middle. I came to terms with things. Got a new guitar (who I've yet to name...I should get on that...a guitar without a name is much like a soldier with out a gun...it just needs it). I've made amends (mostly) with people I've been having issues with. Old situations ended which I'm very glad for. And I made a new friend...who I wonder if she'll stick around as the brunt of my emotions have been layed on her lap. Gratned, she's kind of annoying...but still...I've been kind of an ass. I just tend to be an ass to the wrong people. I've been trying to write again. Anything that pops into my mind get put down somewhere. Even if I end up losing it or throwing it out. I'm trying not to clutter my mind with anything irrelevant. Trying to stay focused on the game that has rules I don't even understand. But who does? Who really understands what we're supposed to do. People will say I'm doing the wrong thing...but what do they know? No one actually knows what's good or bad until the consequences are known. And even then, it's never black and white. Everything is shrouded in shades of never ending greys. And what can we do about it? Nothing. So I say, hold on cause its likely to be a bumpy ride. And when its not, I laugh and say "never hurts to be safe".
Basically, I spent alot of my summer thinking. As Not alot of people I hang out with at school are willing to, or don't have the money to, or can't come because of this or that. So I spent alot of my time listening to Coldplay, trying to get a grip on things that probably aren't worth getting a grip onto.
How do I know they're not worth it? I don't. And thats my point. The ridiculous amounts of uncertanty that run through everyones lives are fucking amazing! Part of me loves to wonder about whats coming next. But part of me wants to know if its going to be that basket of fruit we're all waiting for...or that kick in the balls none of us want coming.
And when you figure out what IS coming, what do you do to stop it? Nothing. We do absolutely nothing, because we KNOW its futile. So we get beat, stomped, picked back up, huged, then kicked again. Its funny how things work. The way I see it, why be stressed in this miserable blip of an exsistance, when you can enjoy the time you have and get on with the short lives we're leading?
Unfortunately, it's human nature to make things worse for your self without even realising it. And thats how it goes.
And thats what I spent my time thinking about. Today is the last day of summer. I have to pack, do laundry, probably argue with my grandmother one last time because she doesn't let anything die.
I can't be rid of this place. I can't wait to get back to school and overwhelm myself with friends and loved ones. I need it. I live for it. And I can't wait to do it for the next 10 months.
Hopefully not long after college I'll have my own place. It'll probably be in Lowell at first, then I'll figure stuff out from there. But we'll see.
See most of you (if not all) either Monday or Tuesday.
Bye!