"Can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being."
A week or so back a switch flipped in my estranged wife's head and she desperately wanted to get back together rather than divorce. Was it because I'd been helpful and nice to her and her family? Was it because it was the end of her semester at work, and that brought her back into the moment where we split up during her previous round of grading finals 5 months ago? Was it fear of being alone and 30 as woman who wants a family? Did she realize that she still loved me so much that in spite of our problems she wanted to work things out? Was she beginning a depressive episode and grasping for me as the only one who ever really comforted her? Probably all of the above.
Just the same, I've moved on in five months. A season neither living in fear of her mood swings nor feeling down on myself for not living up to her expectations has made me a healthier person on a number of levels. I do still care for her, but I could never get back on that rollercoaster. Some problems counseling would never fix, and some of those we had.
And of course, there's weneh. Even after any window of infatuation or "rebounding" or whatever has closed, I still find in her more than I'd ever dared to hope for in a woman.
The X did not take this well. She's completely flipped, sending me messages at first that were alternatively pleading and threatening and now just threats mixed with insults and rants. She spent a couple of days in the hospital on a suicide watch. (All the above reminding me why I finally stopped talking her out of leaving me every six months or so.)
So much for the amicable spit. Thankfully it'll be months before she can afford an attorney, since she now wants to contest some assets. That'll give me either...
a: Time for her to cool off so we can work out a reasonable settlement of our affairs.
or,
b: A reasonable person grounded in reality with whom I can work things out in the person of her attorney. As long as one person on her side of the table can look at how things add up and don't add up regarding our property and debts I'll be fine.
Screwing with me on the house would only guarantee that there's nothing for either of us, as a realtor's commission would exceed "our" equity if we sold any time soon. Trying to squeeze any money out of me apart from that would mean that I couldn't afford the house and the bank gets it and any value she might have gleaned from it as well. She'll get what's reasonable, but she can't go beyond that out of spite without shooting herself in the foot.
Catch-22 is my sword and my shield.
For now I am angry at her, sad for her, and tired of her; but she cant do much to hurt me any more.
Just the same, I've moved on in five months. A season neither living in fear of her mood swings nor feeling down on myself for not living up to her expectations has made me a healthier person on a number of levels. I do still care for her, but I could never get back on that rollercoaster. Some problems counseling would never fix, and some of those we had.
And of course, there's weneh. Even after any window of infatuation or "rebounding" or whatever has closed, I still find in her more than I'd ever dared to hope for in a woman.
The X did not take this well. She's completely flipped, sending me messages at first that were alternatively pleading and threatening and now just threats mixed with insults and rants. She spent a couple of days in the hospital on a suicide watch. (All the above reminding me why I finally stopped talking her out of leaving me every six months or so.)
So much for the amicable spit. Thankfully it'll be months before she can afford an attorney, since she now wants to contest some assets. That'll give me either...
a: Time for her to cool off so we can work out a reasonable settlement of our affairs.
or,
b: A reasonable person grounded in reality with whom I can work things out in the person of her attorney. As long as one person on her side of the table can look at how things add up and don't add up regarding our property and debts I'll be fine.
Screwing with me on the house would only guarantee that there's nothing for either of us, as a realtor's commission would exceed "our" equity if we sold any time soon. Trying to squeeze any money out of me apart from that would mean that I couldn't afford the house and the bank gets it and any value she might have gleaned from it as well. She'll get what's reasonable, but she can't go beyond that out of spite without shooting herself in the foot.
Catch-22 is my sword and my shield.
For now I am angry at her, sad for her, and tired of her; but she cant do much to hurt me any more.