missed the point
I went outside about a couple hours ago, and sat along the trail behind my house where it connects with Keff's trail (behind his house). I just sat there for the longest time (~45mins) letting my mind unwind and drift off. I started thinking about nature and how it related to my life.
It seems that nature is, or at least a part of, the real-reality that exist outside man's subjective self. I feel like this is an important quality of nature because I am a human and a large part of modern human existence is focused primarily on human affairs, concerns, and pace. Nature doesn't have an agenda, or at least not one that consist of similar or comparable qualities of human nature and expression. Nature is. Much of the natural process is very basic yet fundamental, slow yet far reaching, bland yet eloquent, and etc. It is so massive in all it's qualities that only a sample can be experienced (from a typical human perspective) at any given time.
All this is very different from modern human life, imo. We are much quicker paced, but this is no accident or natural phenomenon. We have intended for many of the things we are involved to be all-at-once. We get a lot done! But, what are the effects of our actions? Who do they benefit? It would seem that the trends in population growth and decline indicate that human behavior is driving human expansion and ecosystem/wildlife destruction. Regardless of the effects of climate change, humanity is consuming more resources and space/land. Why? For what? Quality of life? It's all very stressful...
I also thought about what form my personality looks like. I'm a very physical person. I have a strong need to visualize many things (including words) in order to make sense of things (mainly processes. Oh man, do I love processes). Anyways, I was thinking that my personality was like a lot of interlocking gears. Each definable aspect of my being would be like a cog. With many different cogs having different size and number of teeth. Because being is fluctuating, my gear composition would slowly change over time. The gears would change size, which would change gear ratios and have a cascading effect. Yeah...life is as simplistic as it is complex.
I also thought that my consciousness is like different colored balloons floating to the surface from the murky waters of my id. Some would rise, some would sink. Never consistent, always fleeting.
Then, my aunt and cousins came up on the four-wheeler. Just as they approached talking distance a jet-plane came roaring through the sky overhead. The sonic boom made it impossible to talk, so we just sat there staring off into space while we waited for the noise to pass. But it didn't! Apparently the plane had made a hard left and turned a bit back towards us extending the moment. It was amusing. They we riding the the creek with the little boy, Levi. I explained I was just sitting there unwinding from the day (Hospital life is very fast-paces and invasive, especially without Laura in the afternoons). I was partly watching the sunset, I said.
They went on their way, and I drifted back off into space. I wish I had brought a pen and journal to write. The fact that I'm typing this after-the-fact should be some kinda indication how moved I was by the moment and how it unfolded.
Not too long after they left, grandpa had pulled up. He was gonna cut some okra! We started talking. I kinda felt bad that I wasn't helping, so i stayed there and chatted with'em. If a person has any real intelligence (and the use it a good bit during their lifetime) they will inherently become a source of knowledge (and hopefully wisdom) in their old age. I remember thinking several times that I wished I had a tape recorder. During our chat, a plane flew within a couple hundred feet of the ground (over the tree tops of his house). He said it was a locals plane and went into all the details of how they were, how he knew'em, where they lived, and how their properties were positioned near each other...It was news to me! Learning can useful at times :D
Anyways, it got dark, he left with about half a bucket of okra, and I came inside to typed the moment while it was still fresh in my mind. I wouldn't remember it otherwise...
It seems that nature is, or at least a part of, the real-reality that exist outside man's subjective self. I feel like this is an important quality of nature because I am a human and a large part of modern human existence is focused primarily on human affairs, concerns, and pace. Nature doesn't have an agenda, or at least not one that consist of similar or comparable qualities of human nature and expression. Nature is. Much of the natural process is very basic yet fundamental, slow yet far reaching, bland yet eloquent, and etc. It is so massive in all it's qualities that only a sample can be experienced (from a typical human perspective) at any given time.
All this is very different from modern human life, imo. We are much quicker paced, but this is no accident or natural phenomenon. We have intended for many of the things we are involved to be all-at-once. We get a lot done! But, what are the effects of our actions? Who do they benefit? It would seem that the trends in population growth and decline indicate that human behavior is driving human expansion and ecosystem/wildlife destruction. Regardless of the effects of climate change, humanity is consuming more resources and space/land. Why? For what? Quality of life? It's all very stressful...
I also thought about what form my personality looks like. I'm a very physical person. I have a strong need to visualize many things (including words) in order to make sense of things (mainly processes. Oh man, do I love processes). Anyways, I was thinking that my personality was like a lot of interlocking gears. Each definable aspect of my being would be like a cog. With many different cogs having different size and number of teeth. Because being is fluctuating, my gear composition would slowly change over time. The gears would change size, which would change gear ratios and have a cascading effect. Yeah...life is as simplistic as it is complex.
I also thought that my consciousness is like different colored balloons floating to the surface from the murky waters of my id. Some would rise, some would sink. Never consistent, always fleeting.
Then, my aunt and cousins came up on the four-wheeler. Just as they approached talking distance a jet-plane came roaring through the sky overhead. The sonic boom made it impossible to talk, so we just sat there staring off into space while we waited for the noise to pass. But it didn't! Apparently the plane had made a hard left and turned a bit back towards us extending the moment. It was amusing. They we riding the the creek with the little boy, Levi. I explained I was just sitting there unwinding from the day (Hospital life is very fast-paces and invasive, especially without Laura in the afternoons). I was partly watching the sunset, I said.
They went on their way, and I drifted back off into space. I wish I had brought a pen and journal to write. The fact that I'm typing this after-the-fact should be some kinda indication how moved I was by the moment and how it unfolded.
Not too long after they left, grandpa had pulled up. He was gonna cut some okra! We started talking. I kinda felt bad that I wasn't helping, so i stayed there and chatted with'em. If a person has any real intelligence (and the use it a good bit during their lifetime) they will inherently become a source of knowledge (and hopefully wisdom) in their old age. I remember thinking several times that I wished I had a tape recorder. During our chat, a plane flew within a couple hundred feet of the ground (over the tree tops of his house). He said it was a locals plane and went into all the details of how they were, how he knew'em, where they lived, and how their properties were positioned near each other...It was news to me! Learning can useful at times :D
Anyways, it got dark, he left with about half a bucket of okra, and I came inside to typed the moment while it was still fresh in my mind. I wouldn't remember it otherwise...