(no subject)
Wow.... I don't really even know. This changes a lot. I'm not exactly sure why, but it does. Maybe I'm being absolutely ridiculous. Maybe I don't make any sense. I probably don't have any right to be annoyed about this. Actually, I'm not annoyed. Definitely not mad. Disappointed? Maybe?... I'm not sure. It's weird I guess. But maybe it doesn't matter anyways. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe after the purpose was served it wasn't meant to be anything else... Maybe I hate that everything always has to be a maybe and nothing's ever for certain. But it's not your fault. It can't be your fault. You're not the common denominator in all of these situations. I am. And at some point I'm gonna have to figure out why that is.
Closure is not my friend.
On the other hand, I've become really good at coming to terms with things. I can't change anything. I actually have very little control over anything that happens in my own life, which is both a little ironic and kind of sad. It'd be nice though. For once, not to have to fill in the blanks for myself. I don't know... It's obviously not a good idea to leave me alone with myself because I just analyze everything to death even more so than usual.
Whatever. It's never mattered before. Why should it now?
I'm glad that everyone thinks I'm so okay with this. It's not a choice. It just is.
So, now that I've confused you and made myself sound like an ass because no one (well, except for Jess cause we talked about it earlier) is gonna know what the hell I'm talking about... I'm gonna go take a nap.
Closure is not my friend.
On the other hand, I've become really good at coming to terms with things. I can't change anything. I actually have very little control over anything that happens in my own life, which is both a little ironic and kind of sad. It'd be nice though. For once, not to have to fill in the blanks for myself. I don't know... It's obviously not a good idea to leave me alone with myself because I just analyze everything to death even more so than usual.
Whatever. It's never mattered before. Why should it now?
I'm glad that everyone thinks I'm so okay with this. It's not a choice. It just is.
So, now that I've confused you and made myself sound like an ass because no one (well, except for Jess cause we talked about it earlier) is gonna know what the hell I'm talking about... I'm gonna go take a nap.