Warm Light on a Winter's Day
New livejournal layout. Gotta admit, it’s pretty snazzy. The livejournal revamp has inspired me to try and write more. Who knows whether this will last or not. I feel like maybe if I stop thinking about this livejournal as a public forum designed to entertain all of the idiots out there reading this and instead consider it writing therapy, just like any other journal, I might be inclined to write more. Who knows.
Back at college and things are going pretty well so far. I’m in a new dorm with bigger rooms, a more enjoyable roommate, and females that don’t look like they arrived from planet of the apes. It’s a better situation, all around. Big rounds of auditions coming up this weekend, it’s gonna be exhausting.
I’ll be honest, though. No matter what I say to try and convince myself, I’m still not sure whether or not this is the place for me, really. I hope it gets clear before the year is over. Half the time that I’m here it’s awesome. Creative people, exciting (finally) classes, theatre, music, alcohol, etc. But then last weekend I went to a frat party and, even with a good number of drinks in me, I just couldn’t escape how idiotic and demeaning it was, and I can’t believe that these parties, with girls waiting for assholes in collared shirts and designer jeans to take advantage of them and huge black football players yelling incomprehensible ghetto-speak at one another, I can’t believe that these parties are actually the cornerstone of the social life here. Theatre parties are better, but not by much. Maybe I’m just the kind of person that prefers playing viewpoints at rehearsal to standing in a sweaty drunken mess of people. Maybe I should go to a smaller school. Maybe I’m just the kind of weird, antisocial hermit who finds it hard to enjoy himself fully in any collegiate environment and I just have to accept that.
The biggest change from summer life to college life is just how the actual days unfold, though. I was so used to summer, where the lazy days just kind of bled into one another, and before I knew it a week of lounging around (and occasionally delivering pizzas) had passed by. Now just today I’m thinking back to my acting class this afternoon and I can’t even imagine that happened in the same month, with all the things I’ve done, people I’ve schmoozed with and beers I’ve drank (two) since then. College days are just so long and active and full of things piled upon things and, honestly, I prefer living this way than the lazy daze of summer. It’s a little tiring, and I’d like one of those summer days every week or two just to unwind (which sadly, can not be reproduced living in a dorm full of loud, strange people), but I prefer always doing something, always having goals and projects. Tomorrow should be a pretty light day, then on Friday I have three classes followed by a rehearsal for some shitty Rosh Hashanah performance from this Jewish Storytellers group I somehow got fandangled into, followed by about eight auditions in a row, followed (probably) by a party of some sort. I can’t really predict how much of that will actually be enjoyable, but the raw energy that I get from having that much shit to do and just jumping from one place to another and doing it is pretty irrepressible. Somehow I want to combine these two lifestyles into one, and have that be the way that I live.
Back at college and things are going pretty well so far. I’m in a new dorm with bigger rooms, a more enjoyable roommate, and females that don’t look like they arrived from planet of the apes. It’s a better situation, all around. Big rounds of auditions coming up this weekend, it’s gonna be exhausting.
I’ll be honest, though. No matter what I say to try and convince myself, I’m still not sure whether or not this is the place for me, really. I hope it gets clear before the year is over. Half the time that I’m here it’s awesome. Creative people, exciting (finally) classes, theatre, music, alcohol, etc. But then last weekend I went to a frat party and, even with a good number of drinks in me, I just couldn’t escape how idiotic and demeaning it was, and I can’t believe that these parties, with girls waiting for assholes in collared shirts and designer jeans to take advantage of them and huge black football players yelling incomprehensible ghetto-speak at one another, I can’t believe that these parties are actually the cornerstone of the social life here. Theatre parties are better, but not by much. Maybe I’m just the kind of person that prefers playing viewpoints at rehearsal to standing in a sweaty drunken mess of people. Maybe I should go to a smaller school. Maybe I’m just the kind of weird, antisocial hermit who finds it hard to enjoy himself fully in any collegiate environment and I just have to accept that.
The biggest change from summer life to college life is just how the actual days unfold, though. I was so used to summer, where the lazy days just kind of bled into one another, and before I knew it a week of lounging around (and occasionally delivering pizzas) had passed by. Now just today I’m thinking back to my acting class this afternoon and I can’t even imagine that happened in the same month, with all the things I’ve done, people I’ve schmoozed with and beers I’ve drank (two) since then. College days are just so long and active and full of things piled upon things and, honestly, I prefer living this way than the lazy daze of summer. It’s a little tiring, and I’d like one of those summer days every week or two just to unwind (which sadly, can not be reproduced living in a dorm full of loud, strange people), but I prefer always doing something, always having goals and projects. Tomorrow should be a pretty light day, then on Friday I have three classes followed by a rehearsal for some shitty Rosh Hashanah performance from this Jewish Storytellers group I somehow got fandangled into, followed by about eight auditions in a row, followed (probably) by a party of some sort. I can’t really predict how much of that will actually be enjoyable, but the raw energy that I get from having that much shit to do and just jumping from one place to another and doing it is pretty irrepressible. Somehow I want to combine these two lifestyles into one, and have that be the way that I live.