Just, ya know, things and stuff
Since Christmas I have been somewhat pre-occupied with Agnes. She may not be new to the neighbourhood but she is new to my life. She came to my attention on the afternoon of Christmas day, I was reading a book, she was sitting on the rail of my deck. You may find that strange but Agnes is a wild turkey. There is a wooded marsh behind my unit, I assume she has been living back there. I would look for her tracks in the snow on a daily basis, but it was the days she would sleep or roost on my deck that brought me the most happiness. And even though she is an opportunistic omnivore, she only eats the pumpking seeds out of the trail mix. I realise it is not right of me to claim her, mine is not the only yard where she seeks food. And I'm fairly certain she has other homes. I thought a 15 pound bird would be less frightened of an 8 pound cat behind a glass, but it appears predators and prey perform their roles regardless of mass. And why do I call her Agnes? It's easier to say than wild turkey.
I have begun an experiment. Since I adopted my two cats I have kept them segregated from me when I sleep at night. When they were kittens I allowed them into my room but one was far too curious and nocturnal. I spent a year with my door closed and them yowling and mewling, knocking things over in the kitchen and off the bar. They spend their time in the basement now. Till this past Saturday night when I allowed them to sleep with me. Verde wakes between 6 and 7. No big deal, carry him to the basement, go pee, go back to bed. I did it again Sunday night, having a living alarm clock has its benefits. Though I find having something share my bed makes me sleep less. Make of that what you will. I think more in the context of rolling over and being conscious of something there. Who knew, I'm a considerate bed partner, even to non-humans.
I have also been seeing a therapist. There's a stigma attached to saying that, or a sense of vulnerability. We can't expose our bellies or throats for fear of sharks, but even sharks have questions that a feeding frenzy can't resolve. Being unhappy with my job, car, house, TV, love life has nothing to do with any of those things. Filling emptiness with alcohol and food doesn't make it better either. Pointing fingers, finding blame? We all share blame. I could go on, but that's not the point. I'm not looking to unburden myself, at least not yet. Not until I can't afford to sit in that little, cluttered office. January 28 is mental health awareness day. I'm not what I would consider a nutter, but we all have issues. Know that I love and support you, but I don't want to hear your problems either.
I have begun an experiment. Since I adopted my two cats I have kept them segregated from me when I sleep at night. When they were kittens I allowed them into my room but one was far too curious and nocturnal. I spent a year with my door closed and them yowling and mewling, knocking things over in the kitchen and off the bar. They spend their time in the basement now. Till this past Saturday night when I allowed them to sleep with me. Verde wakes between 6 and 7. No big deal, carry him to the basement, go pee, go back to bed. I did it again Sunday night, having a living alarm clock has its benefits. Though I find having something share my bed makes me sleep less. Make of that what you will. I think more in the context of rolling over and being conscious of something there. Who knew, I'm a considerate bed partner, even to non-humans.
I have also been seeing a therapist. There's a stigma attached to saying that, or a sense of vulnerability. We can't expose our bellies or throats for fear of sharks, but even sharks have questions that a feeding frenzy can't resolve. Being unhappy with my job, car, house, TV, love life has nothing to do with any of those things. Filling emptiness with alcohol and food doesn't make it better either. Pointing fingers, finding blame? We all share blame. I could go on, but that's not the point. I'm not looking to unburden myself, at least not yet. Not until I can't afford to sit in that little, cluttered office. January 28 is mental health awareness day. I'm not what I would consider a nutter, but we all have issues. Know that I love and support you, but I don't want to hear your problems either.