A Cry For Help Pt 10/10 (Queer As Folk)
Title: A Cry For Help 10/10.
Author: lambertfanfic
Fandom: Queer As Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Word Count: 3067
Rating: pg
Warnings: Some graphic language
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, no copyright infringement intended
Beta: None
Author's Note: Takes place during season three after Brian's Nephew accuses him.
Summary: Brian decides he can't cope anymore, but when his plan doesn't go right Justin is left to pick up the pieces.
Previous Chapters
Here
Chapter 10
Justin slams the folder down on top of Brian's bad leg making him wince in pain. “Fucking watch what you're doing.”
“You were watching me draw,” Justin snaps. “That's your last memory right?”
“What the fuck crawled up your ass?” Brian's eyes catch the folder laying on his leg. “Where did you get that?”
“Answer my question.”
“You answer my question.”
“I got it the night of your accident,” Justin answers as he folds his arms over his chest. “After I read the letter that you wrote me.”
“You had no fucking right reading this,” Brian kicks the folder from his leg.
“Why? They were all addressed to me.”
“To read when I died.”
“Bullshit,” Justin snaps. “You wanted me to read those letter. That's why you made it so easy for me to find them. You want me to be the one in charge of you because you're a sick twisted fuck.” Justin grabs the folder from the bed in a rage as he begins to flip through it. “You had no intention of ever leaving this world. You just wanted to get your own way.”
“You don't know shit.”
“I know you remember more than just my birthday,” Justin yells. “That day you described. The day you watched me in the diner didn't happen after my birthday. That day happened after I moved out.” Justin watches closely as Brian's eyes twitch. “That's right. Remember now? I left for Ethan because you weren't giving me what I needed.”
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
“So instead of asking me to come home. Instead of admitting you love me, you crash your fucking car into a street light and pretended you don't remember. You just rewind the clock and go back to when we were together. You crazy fuck.” Brian doesn't answer. He just keeps staring at Justin. “And don't lie to me. I've read every single thing in this folder. I know exactly what your plan was.”
“I'm not lying.” Brian shrugs his shoulders. “Everything you've just said is true. I did plan the crash, and I did do it just to get you back.”
“Have you lost your mind?”
“Sort of,” Brian laughs forcing Justin to take a step back from the bed. He knows if he's too close to him he might snap. “Don't give me that look. I thought it was a pretty fucking good plan.”
“You almost died.”
“Exactly,” Brian snaps. “That's what I wanted. I wanted to almost die. Almost dying is what got you back into this loft.”
“Asking me to come back would have worked just as well,” Justin yelled. “I can't believe you.”
“Why?” Brian asks in a calm voice. “I've done worse than this.”
“You could have died,” Justin repeats with less anger in his voice. “You took a big fucking risk.”
“It worked.”
“You could have died,” Justin repeats for a third time as his voice shakes. “You've been lying to me for two weeks.”
“And you've not been lying to me?”
“I've been here for two weeks taking care of you.” Justin takes a step closer to the bed. “I've been worried sick about you, and you...”
“Lied?” Brian sighs.
“You've never lied to me before.”
“Justin...”
“I can't,” Justin holds his hands up as he steps away from the bed. “I can't do this.”
“Don't fucking leave,” Brian snaps. “Get back here and talk to me.”
“I'll call Michael to come and take care of you.” Justin turns his back on Brian to gather up a few of his belongings.
“Sunshine.”
“Just don't do anything stupid until Michael comes.” Justin pauses at the loft door to look back at the bed. “You lied.”
Brian opens his mouth to talk but quickly closes it again when he sees the look Justin is giving him. They stare at each other for what feels like forever before Justin dips his head down and turns away.
#
Brian watches the minute hand on the clock by his bedside go around exactly forty-four times before the loft door is pushed open. He can tell by the footsteps coming towards him that it isn't Justin coming back. Justin's footsteps are always quick and light, but these ones are stomp across the floor letting him know they belong to a very pissed off person.
“You lying little shit, I should have left you here in your own piss.” Debbie stands at the foot of his bed, hands on hips and Justin's key hanging from her fingertips. “Michael's so angry he couldn't come over here.”
“So they sent you?”
“Don't be so fucking smart,” Debbie warns with a pointed finger. “I'm all you got right about now. “If I was you I would be kissing my ass.”
“Not my thing.”
“No, you'd rather screw everyone around you.” Brian stays quiet as Debbie begins moving around the loft, clearing things up as she goes. “Sunshine's staying with me. Says he can't bare to look at you.”
“He'll get over it.”
“Get over... you don't fucking get this, do you?” Debbie snaps in her usual bitchy tone. “You've fucked up big time, Brian. You did something unforgivable in Sunshine's eyes.”
“I once brought a trick home and fucked him on the bed while Justin slept,” Brian smirks at the memory. “He woke up in the middle of it. He forgave that.”
“He's not going to forgive this,” Debbie says quietly. “He can forgive the tricks and he can forgive your cold dead heart, but when you hurt the one thing in this world he loves, that's a step too far.”
“What the fuck did I hurt?” Brian snaps.
“You,” Debbie yells back. “You hurt you, and Justin can't get that fact out of his head. He's in my kitchen right now crying his eyes out because you almost died. You stupid fucking idiot. Don't you know there are people in this world that love you? People that would break if something ever happened to you. You walk around like you don't give a fuck, but I know you do. I know you love Sunshine. I know you've loved him from that first night, and you want to know something? Sunshine knows it too. He told me all about those letters. He knows every thought in your head, and yet you're still willing to sit there and pretend you don't give a fuck. Well I'm here to tell you Mr. Kinney that we all see through your pitiful act.”
“What the fuck do you want from me?” Brian holds his hands out. “Tell me what you want. Tell me what it takes to shut you up.”
“Tell the truth.”
Brian breaths in deep as he looks at the woman in front of him. The woman that's more of a mother to him than his own mother ever was. The woman that cares enough to come to his place and yell at him, and tell him the truth. The woman that doesn't give a flying fuck if he's gay or not, In fact she likes it more that he is.
“I can't,” Brian finally says weakly.
“Why?”
“Because I'm getting backed into a fucking corner, and usually if that happens I have to fight back.” Brian looked up at Debbie. “I have to protect myself.”
“From Sunshine?” Debbie laughs. “That kid knows you love him, but he has to hear it. If you don't tell him now you're going to lose him, and then you really will need to protect yourself. Say the words Brian.”
Brian shakes his head mutely. He can feel the tears burning the back of his eyes, but he doesn't even dare to blink in case Debbie catches it.
“What if I promised you it would be the best thing that ever happened to you?”
Brian looks around the empty apartment and sighs. “I don't do promises.”
“And why the fuck not?”
Brian smiles as the gentle Debbie is replaced with her usual snappy self. “Because when I was eight my Dad promised me a Star Wars figure for my Birthday.”
“And you didn't get the figure?”
“He got me a football instead.” Brian shakes his head. “I didn't even fucking like football.”
“Christ your parents really did a number on you.” Debbie looks around the apartment with a raised eyebrow. “I guess that explains all the fancy things. Mommy and Daddy didn't give you shit as a child so you bought it all for yourself.”
“This has nothing to do with my parents.”
The sound of the loft door closing behind them caused Brian to look up. Justin stands just at the bedroom entrance looking back at him.
“It has everything to do with your parents,” Justin takes one step closer to the bed. “You think because they don't love you that no one else can?”
“I thought I told you to stay outside until I was finished,” Debbie says in a whisper causing Justin to roll his eyes.
“And when has Justin ever done as he was told?” Brian smirked.
“Shut the fuck up,” Debbie snaps. “You're supposed to be trying to win this one back.”
“He can't,” Justin shrugs as Brian gives him a knowing look. “Brian Kinney doesn't do sorry. He doesn't grovel, and he really doesn't beg. Brian Kinney would rather suck and fuck, and pretend he's happy.” Justin steps fully into the bedroom until he's standing at the foot of the bed beside Debbie. “He's never going to admit he loves me, because that's not him. That's not the man I fell in love with. We could be together until one of us dies and he'll never say it. He won't stay the words out loud, but he expresses it with every decision he makes. He says it when he brings home chocolate cake for us to eat, even though he hates it. He says it every time he turns down a trick to take me home instead.” Brian sits on the bed staring at Justin with wide eyes. “He tell me he loves me every time he wraps his arms around me in bed when he thinks I'm asleep. And he told me he loved me when he made sure I was taken care of in his will. I know Brian loves me, I just forgot for a while there.” Justin keeps his eyes fixed on Brian until Debbie smacks him around the back of the head. “Ow.”
“Then why the fuck did you drag me over here?”
Justin rubs the back of his head. “Because I forgot. I got so caught up in the words that I didn't see the actions.” Brian's mouth twitches into a smile before he realizes Debbie is looking at him.
“You two really are well matched,” Debbie remarks with a smile. “Now I'm going home before the sex starts.”
“You could watch,” Brian says with a grin.
“There will be nothing to watch,” Justin says dryly as he leads Debbie towards the door.
“You be careful Sunshine,” Debbie warns as she gets to the door. “Don't settle for anything.”
Justin looks over his shoulder to find Brian watching them. “I'm not.”
Justin watches Debbie close the elevator gate before turning back to Brian. “She's always got to poke her nose in.”
“Right,” Brian watches Justin walking towards him. “So you...”
“Don't talk,” Justin interrupts. “We're not just going to brush this under the carpet and move on. There's still some things to discuss. Important things.”
“I'm listening.”
“You lied to me.” Justin sits on the edge of the bed. “You put yourself in danger and you lied. That's unacceptable. I will not be lied to again. Is that clear.” Brian pauses for a moment before nodding his head. “We can't just rewind and go back to before we broke up. That's just stupid. We need to learn from this.”
“And what's our lessons?”
“This is more than fucking,” Justin answers. “We mean more to each other than that, and pretending that we don't is just stupid. And I'm more to you than the guy you fuck more than once. I don't care if you like it or not but we are a couple. We might not be the so called normal couples out there. We aren't Michael and Ben, and we aren't going to pretend to be, but we are going to stop acting like we're fuck buddies. You're going to be the man I live with. The man that I wake up with and the man I go to sleep with. You're going to be the one there to celebrate the happy times with, and you're going to be the shoulder I cry on.”
“And what are you going to be?”
“I'm going to be all that for you too,” Justin answered honestly. “We're going to be a team. You and me against the fucking world.”
Brian took in Justin's words before slowly nodding his head. “And the tricks?”
“They don't step foot in our home,” Justin answered without thinking. “You can fuck them in alleys or in the backs of clubs, but you don't bring them home.”
“And if we fuck this up?”
“We're going to fuck up,” Justin shrugs. “We're going to make mistakes and you're going to make me mad, but that doesn't stop our love for each other.” Justin slid up the bed to take Brian's hand in his own. “Brian, your parents might have been able to stop loving you, but I can't. Nothing you ever do will ever make me stop loving you.”
“You think you know me so well, don't you?”
“Yeah,” Justin smiled wide.
“You think you've got me all figured out.”
“You're not that hard.”
“I must be so predictable.”
Justin looked smug. “It's like I can read your mind.”
“So what am I thinking right now?”
Justin reaches out his hand to run his fingertips over Brian's forehead. “You're thinking that you haven't fucked me in a while. That you want to be inside me.”
“Wrong,” Brian whispered quietly. “I'm thinking I love you.” Justin's face falls as Brian laughs at him. “You little shit. You think you've got me all figured out? You think I'm that predictable. We'll fuck you because Brian Kinney is anything but that.”
“You...you...”
“Said I love you,” Brian smirks at Justin's shocked face. “Don't think because you've got inside me that you know me.”
“Say it again,” Justin's mouth twitches into a smile. “Please, just say it again.”
“No,” Brian sighs. “You heard it. I don't need to repeat it.”
Justin sighs deeply. “Of course. How stupid of me.”
Brian pulls Justin fully into the bed until he's pressed against his side. “So we're good?”
“Yeah,” Justin smiles. “We're good. As long as you go along with everything I've just said.”
“We're a couple, but not like Michael and Ben. I come home to you every night, and I don't bring tricks home,” Brian rattles off. “That all seems fair.”
“And you never lie to me again,” Justin adds.
“Never,” Brian says softly.
Justin rests his head against Brian's chest. “And you keep on writing me letters.”
Brian takes a deep breath before nodding his head.
#
one year later
Dear Justin,
What a difference a year makes. Can you believe it's been a year. Actually I can. It's been fucking long. You have spent the whole time pissing me off. Who knew crashing into that fucking street light would cause all this? That day when you told me everything that was going to happen I just agreed with you. Anything to get you to come home again. I figured I would do it for a few weeks then go back to my old ways. It would only take a few weeks to make sure you didn't run again. That was a year ago and I'm still doing all this shit. I figure I must like this way. Debbie says it's because you're a pushy little fuck. I just think it's because I love you. Did you hear that. I love you. I like to repeat it in these letters because I've only ever said it once out loud. You're good about that. You've never pushed me to say it again. You're happy enough to hear it in these letters. But you know me. I'm not one for being predictable. I like keeping you on your toes. And that is why I'm about to do something that's going to blow everyone's mind. I should have done this instead of wrecking my car, but all good things come eventually. I want you to remember this date. 5th of June. That was the date of the last time I ever fucked a trick. Nine months ago. You don't want to know the details, but let's just say that as I was pounding him against the alley wall it hit me that I didn't give a fuck. I couldn't care less that he was hot, and his ass was tight. He didn't matter because he didn't know me. The only man that knew me was at home waiting for me. Sunshine, I think you've waited long enough. You deserve more. So tonight, at the family dinner. I'm going to get down on one knee and ask you to be a real couple. I'm going to tell every single person there that I love you. What's your answer going to be?”
The End...
AN: Big thank you to everyone for taking the time to read my story. I've really ended writing Brian and Justin, and will be writing more in the future.
Author: lambertfanfic
Fandom: Queer As Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Word Count: 3067
Rating: pg
Warnings: Some graphic language
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, no copyright infringement intended
Beta: None
Author's Note: Takes place during season three after Brian's Nephew accuses him.
Summary: Brian decides he can't cope anymore, but when his plan doesn't go right Justin is left to pick up the pieces.
Previous Chapters
Here
Chapter 10
Justin slams the folder down on top of Brian's bad leg making him wince in pain. “Fucking watch what you're doing.”
“You were watching me draw,” Justin snaps. “That's your last memory right?”
“What the fuck crawled up your ass?” Brian's eyes catch the folder laying on his leg. “Where did you get that?”
“Answer my question.”
“You answer my question.”
“I got it the night of your accident,” Justin answers as he folds his arms over his chest. “After I read the letter that you wrote me.”
“You had no fucking right reading this,” Brian kicks the folder from his leg.
“Why? They were all addressed to me.”
“To read when I died.”
“Bullshit,” Justin snaps. “You wanted me to read those letter. That's why you made it so easy for me to find them. You want me to be the one in charge of you because you're a sick twisted fuck.” Justin grabs the folder from the bed in a rage as he begins to flip through it. “You had no intention of ever leaving this world. You just wanted to get your own way.”
“You don't know shit.”
“I know you remember more than just my birthday,” Justin yells. “That day you described. The day you watched me in the diner didn't happen after my birthday. That day happened after I moved out.” Justin watches closely as Brian's eyes twitch. “That's right. Remember now? I left for Ethan because you weren't giving me what I needed.”
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
“So instead of asking me to come home. Instead of admitting you love me, you crash your fucking car into a street light and pretended you don't remember. You just rewind the clock and go back to when we were together. You crazy fuck.” Brian doesn't answer. He just keeps staring at Justin. “And don't lie to me. I've read every single thing in this folder. I know exactly what your plan was.”
“I'm not lying.” Brian shrugs his shoulders. “Everything you've just said is true. I did plan the crash, and I did do it just to get you back.”
“Have you lost your mind?”
“Sort of,” Brian laughs forcing Justin to take a step back from the bed. He knows if he's too close to him he might snap. “Don't give me that look. I thought it was a pretty fucking good plan.”
“You almost died.”
“Exactly,” Brian snaps. “That's what I wanted. I wanted to almost die. Almost dying is what got you back into this loft.”
“Asking me to come back would have worked just as well,” Justin yelled. “I can't believe you.”
“Why?” Brian asks in a calm voice. “I've done worse than this.”
“You could have died,” Justin repeats with less anger in his voice. “You took a big fucking risk.”
“It worked.”
“You could have died,” Justin repeats for a third time as his voice shakes. “You've been lying to me for two weeks.”
“And you've not been lying to me?”
“I've been here for two weeks taking care of you.” Justin takes a step closer to the bed. “I've been worried sick about you, and you...”
“Lied?” Brian sighs.
“You've never lied to me before.”
“Justin...”
“I can't,” Justin holds his hands up as he steps away from the bed. “I can't do this.”
“Don't fucking leave,” Brian snaps. “Get back here and talk to me.”
“I'll call Michael to come and take care of you.” Justin turns his back on Brian to gather up a few of his belongings.
“Sunshine.”
“Just don't do anything stupid until Michael comes.” Justin pauses at the loft door to look back at the bed. “You lied.”
Brian opens his mouth to talk but quickly closes it again when he sees the look Justin is giving him. They stare at each other for what feels like forever before Justin dips his head down and turns away.
#
Brian watches the minute hand on the clock by his bedside go around exactly forty-four times before the loft door is pushed open. He can tell by the footsteps coming towards him that it isn't Justin coming back. Justin's footsteps are always quick and light, but these ones are stomp across the floor letting him know they belong to a very pissed off person.
“You lying little shit, I should have left you here in your own piss.” Debbie stands at the foot of his bed, hands on hips and Justin's key hanging from her fingertips. “Michael's so angry he couldn't come over here.”
“So they sent you?”
“Don't be so fucking smart,” Debbie warns with a pointed finger. “I'm all you got right about now. “If I was you I would be kissing my ass.”
“Not my thing.”
“No, you'd rather screw everyone around you.” Brian stays quiet as Debbie begins moving around the loft, clearing things up as she goes. “Sunshine's staying with me. Says he can't bare to look at you.”
“He'll get over it.”
“Get over... you don't fucking get this, do you?” Debbie snaps in her usual bitchy tone. “You've fucked up big time, Brian. You did something unforgivable in Sunshine's eyes.”
“I once brought a trick home and fucked him on the bed while Justin slept,” Brian smirks at the memory. “He woke up in the middle of it. He forgave that.”
“He's not going to forgive this,” Debbie says quietly. “He can forgive the tricks and he can forgive your cold dead heart, but when you hurt the one thing in this world he loves, that's a step too far.”
“What the fuck did I hurt?” Brian snaps.
“You,” Debbie yells back. “You hurt you, and Justin can't get that fact out of his head. He's in my kitchen right now crying his eyes out because you almost died. You stupid fucking idiot. Don't you know there are people in this world that love you? People that would break if something ever happened to you. You walk around like you don't give a fuck, but I know you do. I know you love Sunshine. I know you've loved him from that first night, and you want to know something? Sunshine knows it too. He told me all about those letters. He knows every thought in your head, and yet you're still willing to sit there and pretend you don't give a fuck. Well I'm here to tell you Mr. Kinney that we all see through your pitiful act.”
“What the fuck do you want from me?” Brian holds his hands out. “Tell me what you want. Tell me what it takes to shut you up.”
“Tell the truth.”
Brian breaths in deep as he looks at the woman in front of him. The woman that's more of a mother to him than his own mother ever was. The woman that cares enough to come to his place and yell at him, and tell him the truth. The woman that doesn't give a flying fuck if he's gay or not, In fact she likes it more that he is.
“I can't,” Brian finally says weakly.
“Why?”
“Because I'm getting backed into a fucking corner, and usually if that happens I have to fight back.” Brian looked up at Debbie. “I have to protect myself.”
“From Sunshine?” Debbie laughs. “That kid knows you love him, but he has to hear it. If you don't tell him now you're going to lose him, and then you really will need to protect yourself. Say the words Brian.”
Brian shakes his head mutely. He can feel the tears burning the back of his eyes, but he doesn't even dare to blink in case Debbie catches it.
“What if I promised you it would be the best thing that ever happened to you?”
Brian looks around the empty apartment and sighs. “I don't do promises.”
“And why the fuck not?”
Brian smiles as the gentle Debbie is replaced with her usual snappy self. “Because when I was eight my Dad promised me a Star Wars figure for my Birthday.”
“And you didn't get the figure?”
“He got me a football instead.” Brian shakes his head. “I didn't even fucking like football.”
“Christ your parents really did a number on you.” Debbie looks around the apartment with a raised eyebrow. “I guess that explains all the fancy things. Mommy and Daddy didn't give you shit as a child so you bought it all for yourself.”
“This has nothing to do with my parents.”
The sound of the loft door closing behind them caused Brian to look up. Justin stands just at the bedroom entrance looking back at him.
“It has everything to do with your parents,” Justin takes one step closer to the bed. “You think because they don't love you that no one else can?”
“I thought I told you to stay outside until I was finished,” Debbie says in a whisper causing Justin to roll his eyes.
“And when has Justin ever done as he was told?” Brian smirked.
“Shut the fuck up,” Debbie snaps. “You're supposed to be trying to win this one back.”
“He can't,” Justin shrugs as Brian gives him a knowing look. “Brian Kinney doesn't do sorry. He doesn't grovel, and he really doesn't beg. Brian Kinney would rather suck and fuck, and pretend he's happy.” Justin steps fully into the bedroom until he's standing at the foot of the bed beside Debbie. “He's never going to admit he loves me, because that's not him. That's not the man I fell in love with. We could be together until one of us dies and he'll never say it. He won't stay the words out loud, but he expresses it with every decision he makes. He says it when he brings home chocolate cake for us to eat, even though he hates it. He says it every time he turns down a trick to take me home instead.” Brian sits on the bed staring at Justin with wide eyes. “He tell me he loves me every time he wraps his arms around me in bed when he thinks I'm asleep. And he told me he loved me when he made sure I was taken care of in his will. I know Brian loves me, I just forgot for a while there.” Justin keeps his eyes fixed on Brian until Debbie smacks him around the back of the head. “Ow.”
“Then why the fuck did you drag me over here?”
Justin rubs the back of his head. “Because I forgot. I got so caught up in the words that I didn't see the actions.” Brian's mouth twitches into a smile before he realizes Debbie is looking at him.
“You two really are well matched,” Debbie remarks with a smile. “Now I'm going home before the sex starts.”
“You could watch,” Brian says with a grin.
“There will be nothing to watch,” Justin says dryly as he leads Debbie towards the door.
“You be careful Sunshine,” Debbie warns as she gets to the door. “Don't settle for anything.”
Justin looks over his shoulder to find Brian watching them. “I'm not.”
Justin watches Debbie close the elevator gate before turning back to Brian. “She's always got to poke her nose in.”
“Right,” Brian watches Justin walking towards him. “So you...”
“Don't talk,” Justin interrupts. “We're not just going to brush this under the carpet and move on. There's still some things to discuss. Important things.”
“I'm listening.”
“You lied to me.” Justin sits on the edge of the bed. “You put yourself in danger and you lied. That's unacceptable. I will not be lied to again. Is that clear.” Brian pauses for a moment before nodding his head. “We can't just rewind and go back to before we broke up. That's just stupid. We need to learn from this.”
“And what's our lessons?”
“This is more than fucking,” Justin answers. “We mean more to each other than that, and pretending that we don't is just stupid. And I'm more to you than the guy you fuck more than once. I don't care if you like it or not but we are a couple. We might not be the so called normal couples out there. We aren't Michael and Ben, and we aren't going to pretend to be, but we are going to stop acting like we're fuck buddies. You're going to be the man I live with. The man that I wake up with and the man I go to sleep with. You're going to be the one there to celebrate the happy times with, and you're going to be the shoulder I cry on.”
“And what are you going to be?”
“I'm going to be all that for you too,” Justin answered honestly. “We're going to be a team. You and me against the fucking world.”
Brian took in Justin's words before slowly nodding his head. “And the tricks?”
“They don't step foot in our home,” Justin answered without thinking. “You can fuck them in alleys or in the backs of clubs, but you don't bring them home.”
“And if we fuck this up?”
“We're going to fuck up,” Justin shrugs. “We're going to make mistakes and you're going to make me mad, but that doesn't stop our love for each other.” Justin slid up the bed to take Brian's hand in his own. “Brian, your parents might have been able to stop loving you, but I can't. Nothing you ever do will ever make me stop loving you.”
“You think you know me so well, don't you?”
“Yeah,” Justin smiled wide.
“You think you've got me all figured out.”
“You're not that hard.”
“I must be so predictable.”
Justin looked smug. “It's like I can read your mind.”
“So what am I thinking right now?”
Justin reaches out his hand to run his fingertips over Brian's forehead. “You're thinking that you haven't fucked me in a while. That you want to be inside me.”
“Wrong,” Brian whispered quietly. “I'm thinking I love you.” Justin's face falls as Brian laughs at him. “You little shit. You think you've got me all figured out? You think I'm that predictable. We'll fuck you because Brian Kinney is anything but that.”
“You...you...”
“Said I love you,” Brian smirks at Justin's shocked face. “Don't think because you've got inside me that you know me.”
“Say it again,” Justin's mouth twitches into a smile. “Please, just say it again.”
“No,” Brian sighs. “You heard it. I don't need to repeat it.”
Justin sighs deeply. “Of course. How stupid of me.”
Brian pulls Justin fully into the bed until he's pressed against his side. “So we're good?”
“Yeah,” Justin smiles. “We're good. As long as you go along with everything I've just said.”
“We're a couple, but not like Michael and Ben. I come home to you every night, and I don't bring tricks home,” Brian rattles off. “That all seems fair.”
“And you never lie to me again,” Justin adds.
“Never,” Brian says softly.
Justin rests his head against Brian's chest. “And you keep on writing me letters.”
Brian takes a deep breath before nodding his head.
#
one year later
Dear Justin,
What a difference a year makes. Can you believe it's been a year. Actually I can. It's been fucking long. You have spent the whole time pissing me off. Who knew crashing into that fucking street light would cause all this? That day when you told me everything that was going to happen I just agreed with you. Anything to get you to come home again. I figured I would do it for a few weeks then go back to my old ways. It would only take a few weeks to make sure you didn't run again. That was a year ago and I'm still doing all this shit. I figure I must like this way. Debbie says it's because you're a pushy little fuck. I just think it's because I love you. Did you hear that. I love you. I like to repeat it in these letters because I've only ever said it once out loud. You're good about that. You've never pushed me to say it again. You're happy enough to hear it in these letters. But you know me. I'm not one for being predictable. I like keeping you on your toes. And that is why I'm about to do something that's going to blow everyone's mind. I should have done this instead of wrecking my car, but all good things come eventually. I want you to remember this date. 5th of June. That was the date of the last time I ever fucked a trick. Nine months ago. You don't want to know the details, but let's just say that as I was pounding him against the alley wall it hit me that I didn't give a fuck. I couldn't care less that he was hot, and his ass was tight. He didn't matter because he didn't know me. The only man that knew me was at home waiting for me. Sunshine, I think you've waited long enough. You deserve more. So tonight, at the family dinner. I'm going to get down on one knee and ask you to be a real couple. I'm going to tell every single person there that I love you. What's your answer going to be?”
The End...
AN: Big thank you to everyone for taking the time to read my story. I've really ended writing Brian and Justin, and will be writing more in the future.