A Cry For Help Pt 8/10 (Queer As Folk Story)
Title: A Cry For Help 8/?.
Author: lambertfanfic
Fandom: Queer As Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Word Count: 2013
Rating: pg
Warnings: Some graphic language
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, no copyright infringement intended
Beta: None
Author's Note: Takes place during season three after Brian's Nephew accuses him.
Summary: Brian decides he can't cope anymore, but when his plan doesn't go right Justin is left to pick up the pieces.
Previous Chapters
Here
Chapter 8
Dear Justin,
I'm feeling pretty proud of myself today. I woke up and fucked a nineteen-year-old this morning. So Happy Birthday, Sunshine. I'll say it here, but I won't be saying it to your face. You know that's not how I work. I don't celebrate events. Why celebrate something that happens every year? Well, I know why we should be celebrating this year. You almost didn't make it to nineteen. Hell I should be on the roof singing Happy Birthday to you, but like I said. That's not how I work so I've let the munchers take you out for the day. I sent you off with your tie on straight and your hair looking perfect. I know I don't tell you this, but you've got to be the most beautiful man I've ever set eyes on. I've never told you that before because I can't. The words just can't form in my mouth. So instead I let you go and spend the say with the munchers and then tonight I'll hire a really hot hustler for us both to enjoy. I know it's a fucked up idea even before I do it, but well, when have I ever done the right thing?”
#
Justin stands in the space between the loft door and the bedroom. His head moves from left to right as he listens to the most bizarre conversation he's ever witnessed.
“I had to hear it from that crazy waitress.” Justin turns his head back to where Brian is for his reply.
“I didn't think you need to know, Mother.” Justin's head spins back around to where Brian's mother is standing clutching her coat to her chest like she's afraid to come in contact with anything around her.
“I'm your mother.” Justin keeps his eyes on the woman in front of him this time. “Now I know we've been having problems lately...”
“Mrs. Kinney.” Justin steps forward to block Brian's view of his mother. Justin knows the next sentence out of Mrs. Kinney's mouth will have to do with Brian's nephew and his accusations. “Mrs. Kinney, Brian's had some memory lose. He doesn't remember the last few weeks.” Justin tries his best to get his point across to Brian's mother without having to say the words. After a few seconds of awkward silence Brian's mother finally looks like she understands.
“That makes a lot of sense.”
“He took a bad hit to the front of his head.”
“He's still alive,” Brian snaps. “He doesn't need you both talking bout him like he's not fucking here.”
“I was just telling your friend here that memory lose makes a lot of sense.” Mrs. Kinney bypasses Justin to walk closer to the bedroom entrance. “You have a lot you want to forget. Your lifestyle is...”
“Mrs. Kinney,” Justin interrupts the older woman again. “I don't think Brian is well enough to listen to your preaching.”
“This is a private conversation between me and my son.” The distaste for Justin almost drips from each word that is spoken. “I really don't see where this concerns you.”
“It concerns me because I care for your son.” Justin walks up the steps and places himself between Brian and his mother once again. “Your son almost died. We were so close to having to bury him. Now is not the time for your ideas about this world.”
“Now is the perfect time,” Mrs. Kinney says calmly with her nose in the air. “He's been given a second chance to correct the mistakes he made the first time, and he can't poison it like he did the first.”
Justin glances over his shoulder to see Brian with a look he could easily describe as sadness. Once he feels Justin looking at him it's quickly replaced with a look of boredom. The mask is placed back onto his face. Justin turns to focus back on the woman in front of him. In reality he should be respectable to her, but he just can't force himself to do it.”
“Joan.” Justin mimics the same tone Mrs. Kinney used with him. “I feel so sorry for you. You're missing out in so much, you have this amazing man for a son. You're only son, and yet you would rather talk to someone that can't answer back. You would rather pray to god than get to know this beautiful human being you brought into the world.”
“Jesus Christ. What are you doing, Sunshine?”
“Something important,” Justin answers as he turns to look at Brian again. “Something this woman should already know.”
“You've lost your fucking mind.” Brian's eyes light up causing Justin to laugh.
“That happened a long time ago. You know keep up.”
“If you're finished...”
Justin turns at the sound of Brian's mother's voice. “I'm not.”
“He's not even warmed up yet.” Brian's sarcastic tone makes Justin smile.
“Mrs. Kinney, I'm just about to make Brian some lunch. You're more than welcome to join us.”
“I don't think...”
“I'm sure you want to spend some time with your son,” Justin remarks. “And I make the best cheese grilled sandwiches you're ever going to taste.”
Brian lets out a loud groan as he falls back against the mattress. “I should have hit that street light harder.”
#
Awkward isn't even a strong enough word to describe the silence in the room right now. The only noise that can be heard is Brian's lips smacking together as he chews on his fourth grilled cheese sandwich. Justin is still on his first because his stomach really can't cope with anymore stress. The third member of their little tea party sits off to the far end of the sofa taking dainty bites of her sandwich. Justin didn't think that Mrs. Kinney would actually accept his bizarre invitation, but she did, and now Justin has to sit through an awkward Kinney lunch.
“So...” Justin pauses when he realizes he actually doesn't know what to say.
“So?” Brian asks with a mouthful of bread.
“Brian must have been a cute baby,” Justin finally blurts out causing Brian to choke on his sandwich.
“Kill me now.”
“Brian was a very handsome child.” Joan's voice takes on a warmer tone as she looks at her only son. “Everyone always commented on his beautiful eyes.
“They still do.” Justin shares a look with Brian. “Was he a quiet child?”
“Can we please not do this?”
“He was exactly like he his now. Brian came into this world with a strong opinion. His father used to say...” The silence fills the room again as Joan looks down at her plate. It only takes Brian a few seconds to create more noise.
“What did dear old Dad say? What did the bastard say about his only son?”
“You shouldn't talk about him like that. He was a good man.”
“Relax mother,” Brian smirks as he grabs another sandwich. “He's not here to hear you. You can say what you really feel about him.”
“Your father was a good man.”
“When?” Brian snaps. “What day did that happen? I must have missed it.”
“I'm not going to be dragged into this by you.” Joan takes a cautious look towards Justin. “I will not air out family business in front of a stranger.”
“Stranger?” Brian laughs. “Justin knows me better that anyone.”
“I still don't want to discuss this in front of your friend.”
“Lover.”
“What?” Justin and Joan ask at the same time.
“I didn't mean that,” Brian whispers at Justin before turning to his mother. “Justin has been there for me when no one else would. He's been with me every day since my accident.”
“That still doesn't make him family.”
“It does to me,” Brian says calmly. “We may not fit your idea of a family, but in our own weird little way that's exactly what we are.”
“Are you okay?” Justin asks with concern in his eyes.
“I'm fine, Sunshine. My mother just needs a reality check. Now I may not be perfect and I may even be evil, but I don't need your prays and I really don't need your concern.”
“You need me more than ever.” Joan sits up straight to look at her son. “I'm your real family. I'm the one that's going to be there long after your friend is out of your life...”
“Lover,” Brian yells loudly. “You still don't get it, do you? Justin isn't my friend. He's the guy I live with. He's the guy I fuck and he's the guy that gets everything if anything ever happens to me.” Justin watches with his mouth hanging open wide as Brian's words fill his mother's ears. “Do you get it now Mother?”
“You...you...”
“He's my power of attorney,” Brian smiles at his Mother's discomfort. “Get it?”
“But you can't do that. You can't throw away all your hard work on... one this boy.”
“Who am I supposed to throw my hard earned money at? You? My sister?” Brian spits out. “My shit stirring Nephew?”
Justin looks on with a confused frown on his face as Brian takes another bite from his sandwich.
#
It wasn't long after Brian's outburst that Mrs. Kinney left the loft leaving the two of them alone again. Justin had replayed Brian's words in his head over and over again, trying his best to understand it. It was describing his Nephew as a little shit stirrer that bothered Justin the most. He couldn't help but wonder if his memory was coming back. If he could remember his Nephew's molestation allegations. If he remembered those allegations then he would start to remember they weren't actually together anymore. Brian would start to remember Ethan, and that made Justin's heart begin to sink.
“So I don't think she's going to be back anytime soon.” Justin stays quiet as he helps Brian back into bed. “I said I don't think...”
“I heard.”
“What's wrong?” Brian grunts out as his leg lands on the pillow.
Justin shakes the bad thoughts from his mind and plasters on one of his smiles. “Nothing. I just don't want you getting over excited. We should never have spoke like that to your mother.”
“She got off easy. I've got a shit load of stuff I could have thrown at her.”
Justin climbs over Brian's legs to sit beside him. “You hate her that much?”
“Hating her would take too much energy. I don't give a fuck about her or my sister.”
“What's your sister got to do with this?”
“She's just as bad.” Brian stares straight ahead avoiding all eye contact with Justin. “Her and her bastard children.”
“What have your Nephews done?” Justin nudges Brian's side when he doesn't get an answer. “Brian, what have your Nephews done that's so bad?”
“Nothing.”
Justin knows he's not going to get an answer. Brian's too far gone. His walls have been put back up again. “You're tired.”
“Yeah.”
“You should go for a sleep.”
“Yeah.”
Justin pulls the covers up over Brian's legs before settling himself down against his side. “Want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?”
Brian shakes himself out of his thoughts to look at Justin. “I want you to stay all the time. I don't want you to go away again.”
Justin stays still by Brian's side long after the older man has closed his eyes. He listens to his soft snoring and replays the word 'again' over and over in his mind.
TBC
Chapter 9
Here
Author: lambertfanfic
Fandom: Queer As Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Word Count: 2013
Rating: pg
Warnings: Some graphic language
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, no copyright infringement intended
Beta: None
Author's Note: Takes place during season three after Brian's Nephew accuses him.
Summary: Brian decides he can't cope anymore, but when his plan doesn't go right Justin is left to pick up the pieces.
Previous Chapters
Here
Chapter 8
Dear Justin,
I'm feeling pretty proud of myself today. I woke up and fucked a nineteen-year-old this morning. So Happy Birthday, Sunshine. I'll say it here, but I won't be saying it to your face. You know that's not how I work. I don't celebrate events. Why celebrate something that happens every year? Well, I know why we should be celebrating this year. You almost didn't make it to nineteen. Hell I should be on the roof singing Happy Birthday to you, but like I said. That's not how I work so I've let the munchers take you out for the day. I sent you off with your tie on straight and your hair looking perfect. I know I don't tell you this, but you've got to be the most beautiful man I've ever set eyes on. I've never told you that before because I can't. The words just can't form in my mouth. So instead I let you go and spend the say with the munchers and then tonight I'll hire a really hot hustler for us both to enjoy. I know it's a fucked up idea even before I do it, but well, when have I ever done the right thing?”
#
Justin stands in the space between the loft door and the bedroom. His head moves from left to right as he listens to the most bizarre conversation he's ever witnessed.
“I had to hear it from that crazy waitress.” Justin turns his head back to where Brian is for his reply.
“I didn't think you need to know, Mother.” Justin's head spins back around to where Brian's mother is standing clutching her coat to her chest like she's afraid to come in contact with anything around her.
“I'm your mother.” Justin keeps his eyes on the woman in front of him this time. “Now I know we've been having problems lately...”
“Mrs. Kinney.” Justin steps forward to block Brian's view of his mother. Justin knows the next sentence out of Mrs. Kinney's mouth will have to do with Brian's nephew and his accusations. “Mrs. Kinney, Brian's had some memory lose. He doesn't remember the last few weeks.” Justin tries his best to get his point across to Brian's mother without having to say the words. After a few seconds of awkward silence Brian's mother finally looks like she understands.
“That makes a lot of sense.”
“He took a bad hit to the front of his head.”
“He's still alive,” Brian snaps. “He doesn't need you both talking bout him like he's not fucking here.”
“I was just telling your friend here that memory lose makes a lot of sense.” Mrs. Kinney bypasses Justin to walk closer to the bedroom entrance. “You have a lot you want to forget. Your lifestyle is...”
“Mrs. Kinney,” Justin interrupts the older woman again. “I don't think Brian is well enough to listen to your preaching.”
“This is a private conversation between me and my son.” The distaste for Justin almost drips from each word that is spoken. “I really don't see where this concerns you.”
“It concerns me because I care for your son.” Justin walks up the steps and places himself between Brian and his mother once again. “Your son almost died. We were so close to having to bury him. Now is not the time for your ideas about this world.”
“Now is the perfect time,” Mrs. Kinney says calmly with her nose in the air. “He's been given a second chance to correct the mistakes he made the first time, and he can't poison it like he did the first.”
Justin glances over his shoulder to see Brian with a look he could easily describe as sadness. Once he feels Justin looking at him it's quickly replaced with a look of boredom. The mask is placed back onto his face. Justin turns to focus back on the woman in front of him. In reality he should be respectable to her, but he just can't force himself to do it.”
“Joan.” Justin mimics the same tone Mrs. Kinney used with him. “I feel so sorry for you. You're missing out in so much, you have this amazing man for a son. You're only son, and yet you would rather talk to someone that can't answer back. You would rather pray to god than get to know this beautiful human being you brought into the world.”
“Jesus Christ. What are you doing, Sunshine?”
“Something important,” Justin answers as he turns to look at Brian again. “Something this woman should already know.”
“You've lost your fucking mind.” Brian's eyes light up causing Justin to laugh.
“That happened a long time ago. You know keep up.”
“If you're finished...”
Justin turns at the sound of Brian's mother's voice. “I'm not.”
“He's not even warmed up yet.” Brian's sarcastic tone makes Justin smile.
“Mrs. Kinney, I'm just about to make Brian some lunch. You're more than welcome to join us.”
“I don't think...”
“I'm sure you want to spend some time with your son,” Justin remarks. “And I make the best cheese grilled sandwiches you're ever going to taste.”
Brian lets out a loud groan as he falls back against the mattress. “I should have hit that street light harder.”
#
Awkward isn't even a strong enough word to describe the silence in the room right now. The only noise that can be heard is Brian's lips smacking together as he chews on his fourth grilled cheese sandwich. Justin is still on his first because his stomach really can't cope with anymore stress. The third member of their little tea party sits off to the far end of the sofa taking dainty bites of her sandwich. Justin didn't think that Mrs. Kinney would actually accept his bizarre invitation, but she did, and now Justin has to sit through an awkward Kinney lunch.
“So...” Justin pauses when he realizes he actually doesn't know what to say.
“So?” Brian asks with a mouthful of bread.
“Brian must have been a cute baby,” Justin finally blurts out causing Brian to choke on his sandwich.
“Kill me now.”
“Brian was a very handsome child.” Joan's voice takes on a warmer tone as she looks at her only son. “Everyone always commented on his beautiful eyes.
“They still do.” Justin shares a look with Brian. “Was he a quiet child?”
“Can we please not do this?”
“He was exactly like he his now. Brian came into this world with a strong opinion. His father used to say...” The silence fills the room again as Joan looks down at her plate. It only takes Brian a few seconds to create more noise.
“What did dear old Dad say? What did the bastard say about his only son?”
“You shouldn't talk about him like that. He was a good man.”
“Relax mother,” Brian smirks as he grabs another sandwich. “He's not here to hear you. You can say what you really feel about him.”
“Your father was a good man.”
“When?” Brian snaps. “What day did that happen? I must have missed it.”
“I'm not going to be dragged into this by you.” Joan takes a cautious look towards Justin. “I will not air out family business in front of a stranger.”
“Stranger?” Brian laughs. “Justin knows me better that anyone.”
“I still don't want to discuss this in front of your friend.”
“Lover.”
“What?” Justin and Joan ask at the same time.
“I didn't mean that,” Brian whispers at Justin before turning to his mother. “Justin has been there for me when no one else would. He's been with me every day since my accident.”
“That still doesn't make him family.”
“It does to me,” Brian says calmly. “We may not fit your idea of a family, but in our own weird little way that's exactly what we are.”
“Are you okay?” Justin asks with concern in his eyes.
“I'm fine, Sunshine. My mother just needs a reality check. Now I may not be perfect and I may even be evil, but I don't need your prays and I really don't need your concern.”
“You need me more than ever.” Joan sits up straight to look at her son. “I'm your real family. I'm the one that's going to be there long after your friend is out of your life...”
“Lover,” Brian yells loudly. “You still don't get it, do you? Justin isn't my friend. He's the guy I live with. He's the guy I fuck and he's the guy that gets everything if anything ever happens to me.” Justin watches with his mouth hanging open wide as Brian's words fill his mother's ears. “Do you get it now Mother?”
“You...you...”
“He's my power of attorney,” Brian smiles at his Mother's discomfort. “Get it?”
“But you can't do that. You can't throw away all your hard work on... one this boy.”
“Who am I supposed to throw my hard earned money at? You? My sister?” Brian spits out. “My shit stirring Nephew?”
Justin looks on with a confused frown on his face as Brian takes another bite from his sandwich.
#
It wasn't long after Brian's outburst that Mrs. Kinney left the loft leaving the two of them alone again. Justin had replayed Brian's words in his head over and over again, trying his best to understand it. It was describing his Nephew as a little shit stirrer that bothered Justin the most. He couldn't help but wonder if his memory was coming back. If he could remember his Nephew's molestation allegations. If he remembered those allegations then he would start to remember they weren't actually together anymore. Brian would start to remember Ethan, and that made Justin's heart begin to sink.
“So I don't think she's going to be back anytime soon.” Justin stays quiet as he helps Brian back into bed. “I said I don't think...”
“I heard.”
“What's wrong?” Brian grunts out as his leg lands on the pillow.
Justin shakes the bad thoughts from his mind and plasters on one of his smiles. “Nothing. I just don't want you getting over excited. We should never have spoke like that to your mother.”
“She got off easy. I've got a shit load of stuff I could have thrown at her.”
Justin climbs over Brian's legs to sit beside him. “You hate her that much?”
“Hating her would take too much energy. I don't give a fuck about her or my sister.”
“What's your sister got to do with this?”
“She's just as bad.” Brian stares straight ahead avoiding all eye contact with Justin. “Her and her bastard children.”
“What have your Nephews done?” Justin nudges Brian's side when he doesn't get an answer. “Brian, what have your Nephews done that's so bad?”
“Nothing.”
Justin knows he's not going to get an answer. Brian's too far gone. His walls have been put back up again. “You're tired.”
“Yeah.”
“You should go for a sleep.”
“Yeah.”
Justin pulls the covers up over Brian's legs before settling himself down against his side. “Want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?”
Brian shakes himself out of his thoughts to look at Justin. “I want you to stay all the time. I don't want you to go away again.”
Justin stays still by Brian's side long after the older man has closed his eyes. He listens to his soft snoring and replays the word 'again' over and over in his mind.
TBC
Chapter 9
Here