315,569,260 seconds
It's been a while...
Its strange how life changes at such a rapid pace. I suppose I am in that era of life where time zooms past me....I don't want it to, I attempt to slow down when and where possible....attempt...
So it's 2011. Ten years ago at this time I made a decision that altered the course of my life....for the better. I built a lot of relationships in the past decade. Some of them truly great friendships. Some of them relationships that pass with time. I learned the joys that infatuation and love can bring, as well as the evils. I discovered love....just the tip of the iceberg thus far, I am still at the beginning of a long journey...being self-aware I realize there is a long, challenging and exciting road ahead....
I feel guilty within some capacity for losing track of, or not talking with a few of my past friends, but I also realize its a two way street. I guess I am surprised by the dismantling of some friendships I thought would last forever....people change, I am sure many people view me in the same capacity...that's how it goes...
I never thought I'd live to be this old....not that I have ever had and major suicidal thoughts by any stretch, I think it correlates to losing a parent at a young age (both the parent, and myself). For some reason....which I am unqualified to determine...I've never really been able to picture myself being married.......having a career which by the way I think I am still gauging if it (my career) will stick....or it it fits the classification of a career by my own personal standard...
I suppose at this age I am still digging for that meaning of existence. Some say it is children....I am sure I'll experience that sooner than later....I just wonder if that will answer the question or if my skeptic personality will leave a tendency to peer deeper into the rabbit hole....anyway I'll skip the apathy for the time being...
So ten years, roughly 3,650 days or 87,658 hours, wow....sort of seems small in that perspective...I've really experienced a lot of things in ten years....the relationships I built in those hours helped to prop me up from time to time, but I can say non-egotistically that I owe myself a pat on the back for making it this far.
I've had a lot of conversations in those 3k days...I get the feeling sometimes that my view on the world (politics, money, social status, importance, love, meaning, religion...etc) has progressed, changed and adapted more for me in ten years that it does in a lifetime for some.
To this day I still get the feeling that many of my friends, family, and so on question my depth....not outwardly, but I can see it in their souls. Again, not trying to be arrogant, egotistical, or conceited here, but those impressions amuse me........some say I take life too seriously....maybe I do.......It's me....I need to make the most of it (i'm still working on this)....I'm still working on being more selfless......
I still don't believe in Christianity, or any other religion for that matter....thus far nothing fits for me....probably never will...I just wrote about two paragraphs on this subject but erased it....it leads to too many tangents.
The same goes for politics....I'll just leave it at this...our global society is corner-stoned on currency, jealousy and religions...if live journal is still around in ten years....it'll be interesting to reflect and see what has or has not changed.
I've had a very productive decade....I have no regrets....maybe some "what if?'s" as anyone person has if they are honest about it...nonetheless I am happy where I am at and excited about where I am going...there are some great adventures and challenges that await.....I hope I get to share it with as many people as possible.....hopefully I can reconnect with some old friends in the next ten years....regardless of whether I do or don't I owe a thank you to those I have connected with over the years, each has helped to sculpt me in one capacity or another.
Lastly, for those few who never believed in me, or were counterproductive to my progress....could you close the door please??....from the other side???
Its strange how life changes at such a rapid pace. I suppose I am in that era of life where time zooms past me....I don't want it to, I attempt to slow down when and where possible....attempt...
So it's 2011. Ten years ago at this time I made a decision that altered the course of my life....for the better. I built a lot of relationships in the past decade. Some of them truly great friendships. Some of them relationships that pass with time. I learned the joys that infatuation and love can bring, as well as the evils. I discovered love....just the tip of the iceberg thus far, I am still at the beginning of a long journey...being self-aware I realize there is a long, challenging and exciting road ahead....
I feel guilty within some capacity for losing track of, or not talking with a few of my past friends, but I also realize its a two way street. I guess I am surprised by the dismantling of some friendships I thought would last forever....people change, I am sure many people view me in the same capacity...that's how it goes...
I never thought I'd live to be this old....not that I have ever had and major suicidal thoughts by any stretch, I think it correlates to losing a parent at a young age (both the parent, and myself). For some reason....which I am unqualified to determine...I've never really been able to picture myself being married.......having a career which by the way I think I am still gauging if it (my career) will stick....or it it fits the classification of a career by my own personal standard...
I suppose at this age I am still digging for that meaning of existence. Some say it is children....I am sure I'll experience that sooner than later....I just wonder if that will answer the question or if my skeptic personality will leave a tendency to peer deeper into the rabbit hole....anyway I'll skip the apathy for the time being...
So ten years, roughly 3,650 days or 87,658 hours, wow....sort of seems small in that perspective...I've really experienced a lot of things in ten years....the relationships I built in those hours helped to prop me up from time to time, but I can say non-egotistically that I owe myself a pat on the back for making it this far.
I've had a lot of conversations in those 3k days...I get the feeling sometimes that my view on the world (politics, money, social status, importance, love, meaning, religion...etc) has progressed, changed and adapted more for me in ten years that it does in a lifetime for some.
To this day I still get the feeling that many of my friends, family, and so on question my depth....not outwardly, but I can see it in their souls. Again, not trying to be arrogant, egotistical, or conceited here, but those impressions amuse me........some say I take life too seriously....maybe I do.......It's me....I need to make the most of it (i'm still working on this)....I'm still working on being more selfless......
I still don't believe in Christianity, or any other religion for that matter....thus far nothing fits for me....probably never will...I just wrote about two paragraphs on this subject but erased it....it leads to too many tangents.
The same goes for politics....I'll just leave it at this...our global society is corner-stoned on currency, jealousy and religions...if live journal is still around in ten years....it'll be interesting to reflect and see what has or has not changed.
I've had a very productive decade....I have no regrets....maybe some "what if?'s" as anyone person has if they are honest about it...nonetheless I am happy where I am at and excited about where I am going...there are some great adventures and challenges that await.....I hope I get to share it with as many people as possible.....hopefully I can reconnect with some old friends in the next ten years....regardless of whether I do or don't I owe a thank you to those I have connected with over the years, each has helped to sculpt me in one capacity or another.
Lastly, for those few who never believed in me, or were counterproductive to my progress....could you close the door please??....from the other side???