(no subject)
i thought i had everything resolved regarding certain somewhat creepy matter. however, i have found out i was mistaken, things were only being avoided, not resolved. i tried to send a message loud and clear--if i don't call you back for more than a month, doesn't that say something? bordering on stalker is what i think right now.
today was definitely not the best day one could have. classes were all quite boring, with the exception of playing hangman on the board in math. i'm finally figuring out some things about "relationships" i have with people. they're more like pseudo-relationships (pseudo is a good prefix). it is my fault that things are this way. i guess i don't try hard enough, as i don't try hard enough in everything i do. i wish i could have figured this out long ago and not been so hopeful that it was real. now i feel like an idiot. and a loser. for some reason, it's all become very clear in the past few days. i don't really know what i've done, other than reciprocate the feelings that were seemingly aimed at me. sorry that i'm not the best friend. i never will be. i'm a cold and detached person and most people don't like that, and that's fine. i just thought some people were able to overlook that, and now i see that's not the case. yeah, so i guess i can chase everyone away. sorry for bothering you all so much over the years. and i'm sorry for anything i've done to make the situation worse, because i wasn't trying to. sorry for being a bitch all the time. i hate myself for it more than you know.
everything good is coming to an end (along with some bad things).
tomorrow is that stupid awards assembly. if i could make the choice, i would choose not to go. it's all rather pointless, as there is no scholarship there or award, other than top 20. big freaking whoop (sorry to all those who it would have meant something to).
we all must watch out for kara, because according to mr. h, she's a cheater. change your ways, kara!
today was definitely not the best day one could have. classes were all quite boring, with the exception of playing hangman on the board in math. i'm finally figuring out some things about "relationships" i have with people. they're more like pseudo-relationships (pseudo is a good prefix). it is my fault that things are this way. i guess i don't try hard enough, as i don't try hard enough in everything i do. i wish i could have figured this out long ago and not been so hopeful that it was real. now i feel like an idiot. and a loser. for some reason, it's all become very clear in the past few days. i don't really know what i've done, other than reciprocate the feelings that were seemingly aimed at me. sorry that i'm not the best friend. i never will be. i'm a cold and detached person and most people don't like that, and that's fine. i just thought some people were able to overlook that, and now i see that's not the case. yeah, so i guess i can chase everyone away. sorry for bothering you all so much over the years. and i'm sorry for anything i've done to make the situation worse, because i wasn't trying to. sorry for being a bitch all the time. i hate myself for it more than you know.
everything good is coming to an end (along with some bad things).
tomorrow is that stupid awards assembly. if i could make the choice, i would choose not to go. it's all rather pointless, as there is no scholarship there or award, other than top 20. big freaking whoop (sorry to all those who it would have meant something to).
we all must watch out for kara, because according to mr. h, she's a cheater. change your ways, kara!