Your Monday evening hilarity
So I'm sitting at my computer, doing a little beta-ing, and from the living room I hear the TV:
man with English accent: Now I'm going to flip the camel over and skin the other side.
me: WHAT? WHAT DID HE JUST SAY.
J: He said, 'Now I'm going to flip the camel over and skin the other side.'
me: What the FUCK are you watching?
J: It's that SAS git*. He's skinning this dead camel. He's all covered in blood and I don't want to think about what he must smell like.
me: Oh God, WHY do you watch that? Why do you do this to yourself?
J: It's like watching rectal surgery. You can't look away.
me: o.O
J: Now he's peeing around the camel in a big circle so the jackals won't get at it.
me: You are MAKING THIS SHIT UP. I don't BELIEVE YOU.
(J turns up TV, so that suddenly there's a soft English voice saying:) TESTOSTERONE -
me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE NOT KIDDING OH MY FUCKING GOD.
*Note: No disrespect to the SAS, because those guys are the toughest sons of bitches on the planet. But the absolute LAST person you want teaching you how to survive in the wilderness is an SAS guy, because he is capable of doing the most INSANE SHIT IMAGINABLE to survive, and he will not bat an eye. You will barf all over your shoes at the mere thought of what he's proposing, and then? You will die.
man with English accent: Now I'm going to flip the camel over and skin the other side.
me: WHAT? WHAT DID HE JUST SAY.
J: He said, 'Now I'm going to flip the camel over and skin the other side.'
me: What the FUCK are you watching?
J: It's that SAS git*. He's skinning this dead camel. He's all covered in blood and I don't want to think about what he must smell like.
me: Oh God, WHY do you watch that? Why do you do this to yourself?
J: It's like watching rectal surgery. You can't look away.
me: o.O
J: Now he's peeing around the camel in a big circle so the jackals won't get at it.
me: You are MAKING THIS SHIT UP. I don't BELIEVE YOU.
(J turns up TV, so that suddenly there's a soft English voice saying:) TESTOSTERONE -
me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE NOT KIDDING OH MY FUCKING GOD.
*Note: No disrespect to the SAS, because those guys are the toughest sons of bitches on the planet. But the absolute LAST person you want teaching you how to survive in the wilderness is an SAS guy, because he is capable of doing the most INSANE SHIT IMAGINABLE to survive, and he will not bat an eye. You will barf all over your shoes at the mere thought of what he's proposing, and then? You will die.