Personal ruminations on RaceFail
This is a self-centered post, mostly because I have trouble dropping the ongoing RaceFail (the enormous number of really good entries which rydra_wong is painstakingly compiling is making it very hard to withdraw, even if I wanted to), and because, like all privileged people, I should be checking my privilege. Sorry to make it All About Me, like so many white people, and feel free to stop reading here (if anyone is still reading at this point...)
It's amazing what years of feminist activism can teach you, especially if you're used to explaining to privileged people (men) why you're not impressed by them. After vacillating for years, I have come down on the hard side of quelling privilege: men should not agree to equality because it benefits them (I actually doubt that it would) but because it's the right thing to do. My normal parallel is apartheid countries: white people should not give up their privileged position because it'll benefit them in the long run, but because not doing so is indecent and evil. It occurs to me that this parallel could be profitably extended from racism to feminism to racism again: my white privilege should be rejected by me because it is indecent and evil, not because I would be better off without it. Also, saying I would feel better without it, apart from being a lie, makes it yet again all about me - not about the dispossessed of the earth whom my loss of privilege should ideally benefit.
Thus, from my attitude towards men, including feminist allies, things I am Not Owed on the Internetz:
Education. If anyone chooses to share their experience with me, that places me in their debt, precisely because they have no obligation to educate me.
Praise and cookies. If I act like a decent human being, I don't deserve cookies for that, any more than I do for calling the fire brigade when someone's house is on fire.
Recognition of my value as an ally and a nice person in general.
Control of what we discuss and how the discussion is conducted. In this LJ, my own standards for interaction will be enforced, because it is my space. However, attempting to control the larger discussion indicates that I do not trust or respect my partners in the dialogue, or that I never saw it as a dialogue in the first place.
Being heard and understood. One aspect of privilege is that I can confidently expect everyone to know about my situation, as it is amply and relatively correctly portrayed everywhere, by people who look, speak, and act like me. Not expecting my experience to be generic and interesting to everyone is one step in acknowledging and quelling my privilege.
Politeness when I'm being an asshole. If people are rude to me in what I consider an uncalled-for manner, it might be good to check if I offended them. This goes even more for the below:
Politeness in requesting an apology. If I mess up, I owe people an apology. They don't have to be nice when requesting one because the apology stems from my being wrong, not them being nice.
The owing goes all the other way here. I owe the people whose situation is made worse by my privilege support, in whatever form they prefer, in their struggle for equality. What this means to me right now is probably donating to verb_noire once my Paypal is up and running, and including books by PoC in the courses I teach (and let me say that there are many options other than Coetzee when studying African literature - the self-indulgent white male texts are beginning to get to me). Other possibilities will be gratefully acknowledged.
It's amazing what years of feminist activism can teach you, especially if you're used to explaining to privileged people (men) why you're not impressed by them. After vacillating for years, I have come down on the hard side of quelling privilege: men should not agree to equality because it benefits them (I actually doubt that it would) but because it's the right thing to do. My normal parallel is apartheid countries: white people should not give up their privileged position because it'll benefit them in the long run, but because not doing so is indecent and evil. It occurs to me that this parallel could be profitably extended from racism to feminism to racism again: my white privilege should be rejected by me because it is indecent and evil, not because I would be better off without it. Also, saying I would feel better without it, apart from being a lie, makes it yet again all about me - not about the dispossessed of the earth whom my loss of privilege should ideally benefit.
Thus, from my attitude towards men, including feminist allies, things I am Not Owed on the Internetz:
Education. If anyone chooses to share their experience with me, that places me in their debt, precisely because they have no obligation to educate me.
Praise and cookies. If I act like a decent human being, I don't deserve cookies for that, any more than I do for calling the fire brigade when someone's house is on fire.
Recognition of my value as an ally and a nice person in general.
Control of what we discuss and how the discussion is conducted. In this LJ, my own standards for interaction will be enforced, because it is my space. However, attempting to control the larger discussion indicates that I do not trust or respect my partners in the dialogue, or that I never saw it as a dialogue in the first place.
Being heard and understood. One aspect of privilege is that I can confidently expect everyone to know about my situation, as it is amply and relatively correctly portrayed everywhere, by people who look, speak, and act like me. Not expecting my experience to be generic and interesting to everyone is one step in acknowledging and quelling my privilege.
Politeness when I'm being an asshole. If people are rude to me in what I consider an uncalled-for manner, it might be good to check if I offended them. This goes even more for the below:
Politeness in requesting an apology. If I mess up, I owe people an apology. They don't have to be nice when requesting one because the apology stems from my being wrong, not them being nice.
The owing goes all the other way here. I owe the people whose situation is made worse by my privilege support, in whatever form they prefer, in their struggle for equality. What this means to me right now is probably donating to verb_noire once my Paypal is up and running, and including books by PoC in the courses I teach (and let me say that there are many options other than Coetzee when studying African literature - the self-indulgent white male texts are beginning to get to me). Other possibilities will be gratefully acknowledged.