10
I spent tonight with Summer, Paige and Kelsey. After sitting through an hour of Meet the Fockers we got up and left because of how dirty it was. We weren't going to take it, so we were like "ok, we're leaving now". We left and went to coffee banc and sat for a while. I wrote "JESUS" in ketchup on a napkin. We were trying to make a rap and that was all I could come up with and the only writing utensil I had. I tried to explain my idea for a movie to Summer, Paige and Kelsey. They thought it was dumb. It's seriously not dumb. And if you know anything about being creative or expressing thought and passion, you would have understood. They're are incredible to have as friends. I could seriously tell ANYTHING to Summer. ANYTHING. And she would keep it to herself. I've told her my deepest secrets. But sometimes, they just don't get it, or at least get me. They don't know why I care so much about music. They look at me funny when I air guitar. They're like "oh my gosh, why does she care so much" when I say something about the music playing overhead at Arby's, or when I drummed to Beautiful Day. I wish they really felt the same why I do. I mean, music has become SUBSTANCE for me. It's like food. When I listen to Travis or whoever (is good) it's like candy to me. There is nothing else that can do that for me. I work really hard at being better. At what? Everything. Not just music, but everything I care about. My relationships, my time, my family, my thoughts, my writing and everything in between. I don't want to be your average 15 year old, because I'm not. If I was too act my age, I would not know half of what I do. I wouldn't even care. People wonder why I want to be so much older. I don't want to BE that much older. But I don't think like a 15 year old. If I was to THINK like one I would worry about boys, what to write in my xanga, decide what song of Avril's was my favorite, and where to find those snowboots. Yeah. My character is not based on the fact that I am Lacy and I was born in 1989. It's more like, "how much have I grown in almost 16 years?"