EPIC POST OF EPICNESS
Up visiting my sister and out of my house, which is good, because things where getting a little stressed about the home. SOSOSOSO, I went and visited my friends, who are going to University in the same town that my sister lives in (and she lives here because she was going to the same Uni before dropping out because she's annoyed at academia, but still loves the town because it's a college town that's really cool AND ANYWAYS), and after we watched my friend play Persona 4 for a while and then watched Kakurenbo (which was kinda mind-fuckery cool), we played THE ADVENTURE GAME. WITH CAPSLOCK. Which is, in a way, a role-playing-game with Face cards, but only not. It's just ridiculous and fun and if anyone wants me to, I'll explain the rules in another post. BUT FOR NOW, I JUST WANT TO REMEMBER THE INCREDIBLY LAME PLOT WE HAD, SO HERE IT IS:
CAST:
Mary Sue - Monica
Know-it-all - Brittany
Friend of the Woodland Creatures - Michelle
The Other One - Kressa
Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy - Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy
We started the story as just a normal, everyday kinda camping trip in the forest. After we got the tent set up and all that kinda stuff, we decided to roast marshmallows and make S'MORES. BUT, out idiot friend Michelle had forgotten the Marshmallows, the idiot. So instead, we made S'Mores with Gummy Bears. Being the courageous and daring person that she was, Kressa decided to try them first, and promptly choked and almost died. Monica was put to the task of giving her mouth-to-mouth to save her, much to Michelle's dismay (the jealous jerk), after finding out that they had no cellphone reception up in the mountains go figure and none of them had satellite phones. BUT LO AND BEHOLD, THERE CAME A SAVIOR TO THE CAMP: an insanely hot guy who happened to know CPR and was going to resuscitate her. Moncia fell INSTANTLY IN LOVE with the Insanely Hot Guy, and whilst in the throws of awe over his incredible good looks, she tripped and fell onto Kressa, instantly dislodging the Gummy Bear and saving Monica the horror of watching her crush sorta-kiss her friend.
With that frightening ordeal out of the way, they found out that the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy was lost himself, and had no place to sleep. They offered for him to stay with them, and after drawing lots, Michelle was the one chosen to share her tent with him (which she glad to do, because she didn't trust this Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy, because he was Mysterious. And Insanely Hot. And she was jealous, god dammit). But before falling to bed at night, they decided to tell Ghost Stories, which turned out to be a mistake because Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy was very good at them, and frightened Monica enough that she wasn't able to sleep. Giving up after a while, she decided to go to her good friend Michelle's tent to sleep with her because of her fear (and it helped that there was, y'know, a Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy in there). But before she was able to get to the tent, she saw a light out of the corner of her eye. She decided to go and investigate on her own. Leaving in a fit of curiosity, she forgot both her not-working cellphone and a flashlight, because she's an idiot.
Michelle was the first to notice that they're good friend was missing, and promptly told Kressa, who then roused Brittney and the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy so they could set off to find Monica. Being the bright young adults that they were, they left a trail of gummy bears to lead them back to their campsite. Unfortunately, they weren't bright enough, because gummy bears were edible, which means they usually get eaten, as shown in Hansel and Gretel. But this time, it was not woodland creature who ate the gummy bear trail, it was none other than Monica herself, who found herself turned around and the faint light that she had been following and morphed into her friend's flashlights. When she saw them, she was overwhelmed by her joy to see them, and burst into tears, hugging herself. The rest of the group was suitably flabbergasted, and even more so when she promptly sobered and came to the realization that her emotions were fluctuating at an alarming degree. The friends were incredibly disturbed, and Kressa knocked her out, hoping to save them all more alarm. So, they continued trekking, with the Mysterious and Incredibly Hot Guy carrying the unconscious Monica, much to Michelle's chagrin. But Monica wasn't really unconscious, just enjoying the ride that she was unwittingly being given, and was having the time of her life when she saw the thing out of the corner of her eye again. She tried to point it out to her friends, who, after being surprised that she was not actually unconscious as they had previously thought, looked about, only to reaffirm their suspicion of their good friends insanity because there wasn't anything there. But, they were all exhausted at this point and decided to rest in the small clearing up ahead. Running with the rest of their unfortunate events, they realized that the only thing they had with them was the sole blanket Monica had (for she was carrying it with her to Michelle's tent when sidetracked). They all knew what had to happen, but were wary and embarrassed to say it, before Kressa decided that she had had enough of avoiding the giant pink elephant in the room... er... clearing and just SAID IT. So, they all shuffled awkwardly to the middle of the clearing and laid down to rest.
When the clearing decided to come alive and try to eat Kressa.
Brittney, who had previously been biding her time until she thought her awesome powers were needed, valiantly saved Kressa from being eaten (but alas, was unable to save her shoe), and they all ran out of the creepy clearing and into the trees, which were not trying to eat them. Monica suddenly had an epiphany, and realized that the strange lights were trying to lure her into the forest and kill them all! She shared this revelation with Kressa, who stared at her blankly, and then Monica realized that she might be alone in her beliefs, which wracked her with grief. Brittany had overheard the conversation, however, and realized that Monica might be right, and more may be going on than they thought. They were tired, however, and so they trudged on until they found a cave. Thinking that maybe, they'd be safe in there unless it tried to eat them too, they entered, only to find it filled with cave drawing form the ancients. Luckily, Brittney had been studding Ancient Crazy Woodland and could understand what the drawings were saying. She told them of an ancient Wizard who lived in the area, and who was the one who was controlling the forest. Whist she was regaling them with the ancient legend, Monica, who is ADD or something, found a map to the castle of the Wizard. They all decided that yes, they probably should go and try to stop the probably-evil wizard. But exhausted as they were, when leaving the cave, Kressa accidentally tripped over her own feet, causing her to fall ungracefully on her face. When the others had stopped laughing hysterically (THEY WERE TIRED, OKAY), they left to continue their journey.
While trudging along in the forest, they suddenly stumbled upon a giant drawbridge, which Monica was already half across before they realized it was there. They stared stupidly at each other, but continued to cross the bridge, until Michelle (who was suspicious of the guy and his Mysteriousness [though it was really jealousy over the fact that Monica was so enthralled with him]) realized that the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy had disappeared when they found the castle. They couldn't do much about it, however, when the drawbridge starte to close with THEM STILL ON IT! They had no choice but to book it across the Bridge before they got seriously hurt. It was when they were safe that they noticed that, hey, they're trapped in a castle with a probably-evil Wizard! And then, Suddenly, when they entered the vast courtyard the were met with!...
Nothing. It was kinda anticlimactic, but did wonders for their nerves. Though actually, it did kinda made them nervous that there was no one there, which is kinda strange considering the size of the castle. They did, however, make it to the stables where they found a beautiful and pure unicorn, which promptly decided that Michelle was it's BFF (Michelle thought it was because her hair looked like straw). Monica, however, was the only one who understood it for some reason (which really didn't help with her 'I Swear I'm Not Crazy' argument, nor the Mary Sue one). They crossed the Courtyard, with Unicorn in tow, when they came across a tower. They started to climb, and realized after about a half hour, that they weren't getting any high and that THE STAIRCASE WAS NEVER ENDING DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN. And Monica then decided to tell them that she had known that after the first five minutes, and that they Unicorn just outside the window had told her. But she was still angry that they thought she was crazy that she didn't say anything, the jerk, and revealed to them that in order to proceed, they would have to either face their greatest fears, or climb up the side of the tower and don't look at me like that the unicorn shouted it at me. SHOUTED.
Then, suddenly, they herd a familiar voice speaking to them, saying that they weren't much fun, and other people had climbed for hours before they realized that the staircase was never-ending. They Gasped in surprise then, at both the fact that they realized the Voice was, in fact, the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy, and the door that suddenly appeared in front of them. They opened the door only to find the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy standing there, and it was then that they realized that the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy was, in fact, the probably-evil Wizard! He stated that Monica was the Key to the forest, which jogged Brittany's memory, who, with a horrified look, promptly grabbed Monica and jumped out the nearest window (which wasn't as dramatic as it should have been, considering the tower was probably only three feet off the ground. You can do this with never-ending staircases). Their two friends followed, with the Wizard close at their heels. Fortunately, the Unicorn cared so much for Michelle, that it wanted to help her and her friends escape. So, it had rallied three other horses for her friends to ride, and they galloped across the Courtyard. But then they came up to the Drawbridge they realized that they were, um, stuck in a huge castle and the only one who could let them out didn't, actually, really want to. BUT, THEY WERE QUICK THINKERS AND ABANDONED THEIR HORSES (but not the unicorn, who was still enthralled with Michelle), AND RAN UP TO THE BATTLEMENTS. They ran as far as they could, but still couldn't find a way off, until they noticed the moat around the castle. Being the Brave and Daring (and kinda moronic) Person she was, Michelle jumped into the river without a second thought. The others (being more intelligent and less suicidal) watched with varying degrees of dismay, until Kressa realized that she actually made the jump alive, and promptly grabbed the two others and Jumped as well (and the unicorn followed). They swam to the other side of the moat (which was luckily uninhabited), and looked back to see the Wizard standing there, being an angsty Mysterious and Insanely Hot Wizard with the moonlight behind him, his hair blowing in the wind, and a expression of heartache on his face.
(It was at this point that three of them wondered why he didn't freeze the Moat or something, and Monica wondered why in the world they were running away from the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Wizard. Guy.)
They made it to safety in the woods (much to Monica's dismay), where they demanded of Brittany the reason why she had been so horrified. She then told them The story of the Wizard (with much dramatic pausing and had gestures). She Told them that he had once loved a Fair Maiden (EXPRESSIVE HAD GESTURES TOWARD MONICA [And this is the point where Michelle is worried that she's going all-out Mary Sue and doing the Reincarnation thing]), who didn't return his affection, but agreed to be his if he brought her a Powerful Artifact. But not any Powerful Artifact, but an Evil Powerful Artifact. With much bishi angsting on his side of things, the Wizard finally brought his love the Powerful Artifact. The wench Fair Maiden, however, awakened the Powerful Artifact, which brought a horror to the land that killed many, including the Fair Maiden herself. Wracked with pain and guilt, the Wizard swore he would never love again and made the forest alive in order to keep everyone away (which obviously didn't work). But then, he must have suddenly fell in love with the gloriousness that was Mary Sue Monica, and couldn't help but fall in love. Which is why he was looking so gloriously angsty when he let them leave, because he knew he couldn't love again.
It was at this point that Monica's loyal friend (*LAUGHS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY*), Kressa, Decided that the entire thing was BS and that they should go and Find this Wretched Artifact and destroy it, so that both Monica and Wizard could find happyness.
(Which seems like a cool thing, but actually prompted Monica and Kressa to have a huge argument about whos idea it was to strike out first because Monica was going to do it anyway and Kressa just stole the dramaticness, you jerk, while Michelle learned the Language of the unicorn and Brittany struck her dramatic 'I Am Done With My Dramatic Story' pose, complete with sparkles)
So. Then they all ventured forth and found the Castle again, after much running around like chickens with their heads cut off through out the forest, and proceeded to realize that yes, the Drawbridge was still closed. BUT BY THIS TIME, Michelle had become a friend to all the woodland creatures and used their help to climb up the side of the castle. They entered the Courtyard and found the Wizard there, and Michelle Rushed to the arms of the Wizard, but was actually thwarted by her unicorn friend (who was now the jealous on in the party), and was passed by Monica, who actually did run into the arms of her beloved and there was much joyful and sappy realizations of their love to be had. Meanwhile, Kressa and Brittany raided the Wizard's stash, found the Artifact, and realized it was, ironically, water-soluble. So, with much Drama and Climactic-ness, they Dropped the Artifact into the water, insuring that it's evil would never harm the land again, and they lived Happily Ever After.
THE END *FLOURISH*.
Yeeeah, Don't ask. The end was insanely rushed, and IT WAS JUST STUPID, OKAY!?!?!!!? But it was lotsa fun and junk, and we laughed SO HARD. ♥
CAST:
Mary Sue - Monica
Know-it-all - Brittany
Friend of the Woodland Creatures - Michelle
The Other One - Kressa
Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy - Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy
We started the story as just a normal, everyday kinda camping trip in the forest. After we got the tent set up and all that kinda stuff, we decided to roast marshmallows and make S'MORES. BUT, out idiot friend Michelle had forgotten the Marshmallows, the idiot. So instead, we made S'Mores with Gummy Bears. Being the courageous and daring person that she was, Kressa decided to try them first, and promptly choked and almost died. Monica was put to the task of giving her mouth-to-mouth to save her, much to Michelle's dismay (the jealous jerk), after finding out that they had no cellphone reception up in the mountains go figure and none of them had satellite phones. BUT LO AND BEHOLD, THERE CAME A SAVIOR TO THE CAMP: an insanely hot guy who happened to know CPR and was going to resuscitate her. Moncia fell INSTANTLY IN LOVE with the Insanely Hot Guy, and whilst in the throws of awe over his incredible good looks, she tripped and fell onto Kressa, instantly dislodging the Gummy Bear and saving Monica the horror of watching her crush sorta-kiss her friend.
With that frightening ordeal out of the way, they found out that the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy was lost himself, and had no place to sleep. They offered for him to stay with them, and after drawing lots, Michelle was the one chosen to share her tent with him (which she glad to do, because she didn't trust this Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy, because he was Mysterious. And Insanely Hot. And she was jealous, god dammit). But before falling to bed at night, they decided to tell Ghost Stories, which turned out to be a mistake because Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy was very good at them, and frightened Monica enough that she wasn't able to sleep. Giving up after a while, she decided to go to her good friend Michelle's tent to sleep with her because of her fear (and it helped that there was, y'know, a Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy in there). But before she was able to get to the tent, she saw a light out of the corner of her eye. She decided to go and investigate on her own. Leaving in a fit of curiosity, she forgot both her not-working cellphone and a flashlight, because she's an idiot.
Michelle was the first to notice that they're good friend was missing, and promptly told Kressa, who then roused Brittney and the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy so they could set off to find Monica. Being the bright young adults that they were, they left a trail of gummy bears to lead them back to their campsite. Unfortunately, they weren't bright enough, because gummy bears were edible, which means they usually get eaten, as shown in Hansel and Gretel. But this time, it was not woodland creature who ate the gummy bear trail, it was none other than Monica herself, who found herself turned around and the faint light that she had been following and morphed into her friend's flashlights. When she saw them, she was overwhelmed by her joy to see them, and burst into tears, hugging herself. The rest of the group was suitably flabbergasted, and even more so when she promptly sobered and came to the realization that her emotions were fluctuating at an alarming degree. The friends were incredibly disturbed, and Kressa knocked her out, hoping to save them all more alarm. So, they continued trekking, with the Mysterious and Incredibly Hot Guy carrying the unconscious Monica, much to Michelle's chagrin. But Monica wasn't really unconscious, just enjoying the ride that she was unwittingly being given, and was having the time of her life when she saw the thing out of the corner of her eye again. She tried to point it out to her friends, who, after being surprised that she was not actually unconscious as they had previously thought, looked about, only to reaffirm their suspicion of their good friends insanity because there wasn't anything there. But, they were all exhausted at this point and decided to rest in the small clearing up ahead. Running with the rest of their unfortunate events, they realized that the only thing they had with them was the sole blanket Monica had (for she was carrying it with her to Michelle's tent when sidetracked). They all knew what had to happen, but were wary and embarrassed to say it, before Kressa decided that she had had enough of avoiding the giant pink elephant in the room... er... clearing and just SAID IT. So, they all shuffled awkwardly to the middle of the clearing and laid down to rest.
When the clearing decided to come alive and try to eat Kressa.
Brittney, who had previously been biding her time until she thought her awesome powers were needed, valiantly saved Kressa from being eaten (but alas, was unable to save her shoe), and they all ran out of the creepy clearing and into the trees, which were not trying to eat them. Monica suddenly had an epiphany, and realized that the strange lights were trying to lure her into the forest and kill them all! She shared this revelation with Kressa, who stared at her blankly, and then Monica realized that she might be alone in her beliefs, which wracked her with grief. Brittany had overheard the conversation, however, and realized that Monica might be right, and more may be going on than they thought. They were tired, however, and so they trudged on until they found a cave. Thinking that maybe, they'd be safe in there unless it tried to eat them too, they entered, only to find it filled with cave drawing form the ancients. Luckily, Brittney had been studding Ancient Crazy Woodland and could understand what the drawings were saying. She told them of an ancient Wizard who lived in the area, and who was the one who was controlling the forest. Whist she was regaling them with the ancient legend, Monica, who is ADD or something, found a map to the castle of the Wizard. They all decided that yes, they probably should go and try to stop the probably-evil wizard. But exhausted as they were, when leaving the cave, Kressa accidentally tripped over her own feet, causing her to fall ungracefully on her face. When the others had stopped laughing hysterically (THEY WERE TIRED, OKAY), they left to continue their journey.
While trudging along in the forest, they suddenly stumbled upon a giant drawbridge, which Monica was already half across before they realized it was there. They stared stupidly at each other, but continued to cross the bridge, until Michelle (who was suspicious of the guy and his Mysteriousness [though it was really jealousy over the fact that Monica was so enthralled with him]) realized that the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy had disappeared when they found the castle. They couldn't do much about it, however, when the drawbridge starte to close with THEM STILL ON IT! They had no choice but to book it across the Bridge before they got seriously hurt. It was when they were safe that they noticed that, hey, they're trapped in a castle with a probably-evil Wizard! And then, Suddenly, when they entered the vast courtyard the were met with!...
Nothing. It was kinda anticlimactic, but did wonders for their nerves. Though actually, it did kinda made them nervous that there was no one there, which is kinda strange considering the size of the castle. They did, however, make it to the stables where they found a beautiful and pure unicorn, which promptly decided that Michelle was it's BFF (Michelle thought it was because her hair looked like straw). Monica, however, was the only one who understood it for some reason (which really didn't help with her 'I Swear I'm Not Crazy' argument, nor the Mary Sue one). They crossed the Courtyard, with Unicorn in tow, when they came across a tower. They started to climb, and realized after about a half hour, that they weren't getting any high and that THE STAIRCASE WAS NEVER ENDING DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN. And Monica then decided to tell them that she had known that after the first five minutes, and that they Unicorn just outside the window had told her. But she was still angry that they thought she was crazy that she didn't say anything, the jerk, and revealed to them that in order to proceed, they would have to either face their greatest fears, or climb up the side of the tower and don't look at me like that the unicorn shouted it at me. SHOUTED.
Then, suddenly, they herd a familiar voice speaking to them, saying that they weren't much fun, and other people had climbed for hours before they realized that the staircase was never-ending. They Gasped in surprise then, at both the fact that they realized the Voice was, in fact, the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy, and the door that suddenly appeared in front of them. They opened the door only to find the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy standing there, and it was then that they realized that the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Guy was, in fact, the probably-evil Wizard! He stated that Monica was the Key to the forest, which jogged Brittany's memory, who, with a horrified look, promptly grabbed Monica and jumped out the nearest window (which wasn't as dramatic as it should have been, considering the tower was probably only three feet off the ground. You can do this with never-ending staircases). Their two friends followed, with the Wizard close at their heels. Fortunately, the Unicorn cared so much for Michelle, that it wanted to help her and her friends escape. So, it had rallied three other horses for her friends to ride, and they galloped across the Courtyard. But then they came up to the Drawbridge they realized that they were, um, stuck in a huge castle and the only one who could let them out didn't, actually, really want to. BUT, THEY WERE QUICK THINKERS AND ABANDONED THEIR HORSES (but not the unicorn, who was still enthralled with Michelle), AND RAN UP TO THE BATTLEMENTS. They ran as far as they could, but still couldn't find a way off, until they noticed the moat around the castle. Being the Brave and Daring (and kinda moronic) Person she was, Michelle jumped into the river without a second thought. The others (being more intelligent and less suicidal) watched with varying degrees of dismay, until Kressa realized that she actually made the jump alive, and promptly grabbed the two others and Jumped as well (and the unicorn followed). They swam to the other side of the moat (which was luckily uninhabited), and looked back to see the Wizard standing there, being an angsty Mysterious and Insanely Hot Wizard with the moonlight behind him, his hair blowing in the wind, and a expression of heartache on his face.
(It was at this point that three of them wondered why he didn't freeze the Moat or something, and Monica wondered why in the world they were running away from the Mysterious and Insanely Hot Wizard. Guy.)
They made it to safety in the woods (much to Monica's dismay), where they demanded of Brittany the reason why she had been so horrified. She then told them The story of the Wizard (with much dramatic pausing and had gestures). She Told them that he had once loved a Fair Maiden (EXPRESSIVE HAD GESTURES TOWARD MONICA [And this is the point where Michelle is worried that she's going all-out Mary Sue and doing the Reincarnation thing]), who didn't return his affection, but agreed to be his if he brought her a Powerful Artifact. But not any Powerful Artifact, but an Evil Powerful Artifact. With much bishi angsting on his side of things, the Wizard finally brought his love the Powerful Artifact. The wench Fair Maiden, however, awakened the Powerful Artifact, which brought a horror to the land that killed many, including the Fair Maiden herself. Wracked with pain and guilt, the Wizard swore he would never love again and made the forest alive in order to keep everyone away (which obviously didn't work). But then, he must have suddenly fell in love with the gloriousness that was Mary Sue Monica, and couldn't help but fall in love. Which is why he was looking so gloriously angsty when he let them leave, because he knew he couldn't love again.
It was at this point that Monica's loyal friend (*LAUGHS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY*), Kressa, Decided that the entire thing was BS and that they should go and Find this Wretched Artifact and destroy it, so that both Monica and Wizard could find happyness.
(Which seems like a cool thing, but actually prompted Monica and Kressa to have a huge argument about whos idea it was to strike out first because Monica was going to do it anyway and Kressa just stole the dramaticness, you jerk, while Michelle learned the Language of the unicorn and Brittany struck her dramatic 'I Am Done With My Dramatic Story' pose, complete with sparkles)
So. Then they all ventured forth and found the Castle again, after much running around like chickens with their heads cut off through out the forest, and proceeded to realize that yes, the Drawbridge was still closed. BUT BY THIS TIME, Michelle had become a friend to all the woodland creatures and used their help to climb up the side of the castle. They entered the Courtyard and found the Wizard there, and Michelle Rushed to the arms of the Wizard, but was actually thwarted by her unicorn friend (who was now the jealous on in the party), and was passed by Monica, who actually did run into the arms of her beloved and there was much joyful and sappy realizations of their love to be had. Meanwhile, Kressa and Brittany raided the Wizard's stash, found the Artifact, and realized it was, ironically, water-soluble. So, with much Drama and Climactic-ness, they Dropped the Artifact into the water, insuring that it's evil would never harm the land again, and they lived Happily Ever After.
THE END *FLOURISH*.
Yeeeah, Don't ask. The end was insanely rushed, and IT WAS JUST STUPID, OKAY!?!?!!!? But it was lotsa fun and junk, and we laughed SO HARD. ♥