(no subject)
So odd to read my last post. That guy and I only breifly connected on the phone that weekend, and since then, there's been nothing but radio static. So now I know, and now I move on. It's odd - what burns me isn't that he didn't want a relationship, it's that he didn't seem to want to be friends, either. And overall, my two favorite memories of hanging out with him come down to laughing and the feeling of being good chums. So, looking back on things, that's the part that I think I lost, or I regret - that we didn't end up becoming friends. Never can have enough of those, really. At least I can't.
So, life moves on. I walked 14 miles in 5 hours last Monday. On Wednesday I walked 3 and ran one mile, and tomorrow we'll be doing 5 miles. Next Monday will be 12 miles. And so on, as the training continues. I'm starting to look forward to June, and the 20 mile walk. I used to feel afraid, but now I know I am committed and I'm going to get there.
I've been going to Overeater Anonymous meetings on Saturday morning. I wish my hearing was better, or that I could afford new hearing aides right now. I miss too much of what's being said by other people, and it bothers me. But last week was nice - after the meeting, the woman sitting next to me stopped to tell me how glamourous I looked when I walked and moved around the room. She said that she wished she looked as well put-together as I did. I glowed from the compliment for days!
Unfortunately, though, I've hit another plateau with the weight loss and I'm fustrated by that. Still, I remind myself that less than two years ago I was a size 26, and now I'm down to a size 16. There's still a long way to go, but I've dropped 10 sizes and 65+ lbs, and that's something to be proud of. Even though I'm becoming more and more focused on feeling good, and being active, and enjoying the working out, and wanting this damn weight to COME OFF ALREADY - oh, that's it - I want this damn weight to come off already. I know Rome wasn't built in a day, and I know that my pattern is to have big drops, level off, have a big drop, and level off again, BUT.
I go back and forth a lot between starting to go out on the town and "put myself out there" now, and waiting to do it until I've lost more weight and am more attractive. I know what the "right" answer is, or the one that most people would encourage me towards, but my feelings are ambivelent. We'll see.
Off to bed - I'm meeting Amy and Helen at 8 in the morning, and it'll be a 45 min drive over there, so I need to be up early.
So, life moves on. I walked 14 miles in 5 hours last Monday. On Wednesday I walked 3 and ran one mile, and tomorrow we'll be doing 5 miles. Next Monday will be 12 miles. And so on, as the training continues. I'm starting to look forward to June, and the 20 mile walk. I used to feel afraid, but now I know I am committed and I'm going to get there.
I've been going to Overeater Anonymous meetings on Saturday morning. I wish my hearing was better, or that I could afford new hearing aides right now. I miss too much of what's being said by other people, and it bothers me. But last week was nice - after the meeting, the woman sitting next to me stopped to tell me how glamourous I looked when I walked and moved around the room. She said that she wished she looked as well put-together as I did. I glowed from the compliment for days!
Unfortunately, though, I've hit another plateau with the weight loss and I'm fustrated by that. Still, I remind myself that less than two years ago I was a size 26, and now I'm down to a size 16. There's still a long way to go, but I've dropped 10 sizes and 65+ lbs, and that's something to be proud of. Even though I'm becoming more and more focused on feeling good, and being active, and enjoying the working out, and wanting this damn weight to COME OFF ALREADY - oh, that's it - I want this damn weight to come off already. I know Rome wasn't built in a day, and I know that my pattern is to have big drops, level off, have a big drop, and level off again, BUT.
I go back and forth a lot between starting to go out on the town and "put myself out there" now, and waiting to do it until I've lost more weight and am more attractive. I know what the "right" answer is, or the one that most people would encourage me towards, but my feelings are ambivelent. We'll see.
Off to bed - I'm meeting Amy and Helen at 8 in the morning, and it'll be a 45 min drive over there, so I need to be up early.