SuM Aw3SuM F1Cs
Hi u gaizz!!!111!111!1!! I wrot sum rly awesum and kawaii fanficti0ns for ev3ryb0dy!!11!111!! i hope u gaiz lyk it!!111!!
Woah. That killed quite a few of my brain cells there. 0.o
No matter. Here's the translation:
I have compiled a few crack!fanfics. Rated teen, probably. Hope you enjoy~
Oh and please comment! Tell me if you liked them. But remember. These are crack!fics and are in no way serious. xD
Lali’s Best EdxWin Fic EVAR
One day at work Winry was clomping around in her usual ho-ish garments: a black tube top-like bra less than 6 inches wide and very untrendy coveralls, topped off with a seductive green bandanna. As she was working on her latest automail, she thought; “Hm. I have been dressing in this ho-ish apparel for quite some time now. And all because of that stoopid boy. Hell, I have even gone as far as putting on miniskirts that barely cover my buttocks, and yet he still ignores me. ALL I WANT IS SOME ALCHEMIST LOVIN’, DAMMIT.” At this particular thought she realized only too late that she had screwed a screw in far too hard, and it actually managed to crack the automail leg she had been repairing. “Stupid Ed and his stupid ripped abs”, she thought bitterly. If only he wasn’t so smexilicious, than perhaps she could forget him and go after some easily seducible country bumpkin. BUT THOSE ABS. AND THAT BRAID. Nothing is sexier than a boy in a braid.
All of a sudden, Ed and Al burst through the door of Garfiel’s Automail. “HEY WINRY!!” They said in unison.
Winry turned around in surprise and began to greet them when she noticed- “DAMN YOU ED” She yelled, throwing a screwdriver at his head.
“WHAT THE FUCK, WOMAN!?” He yelled back. “I DIDN’T EVEN BREAK MY AUTOMAIL.”
“NO YOU STUPID BASTARD, NO! I HATE YOU!” It also happened to be Winry’s time of the month.
Although, some may argue, it wasn’t Ed’s fault he happened to not be wearing a braid that day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lali’s Second Best EdxWin Fic EVAR
It was a gloomy day in the Fullmetal!verse, because Ed was still continuing to ignore Winry’s carefully chosen mini-skirt and tight top. She was actually getting quite peeved.
While Ed was out doing military stuff, she decided to discuss the matter with Al.
“Is Ed gay?” she asked him.
Al made a sort of hollow-snorting sound, even though he never really snorts because he is far too gentlemanly. “No, why?”
“Well…” Winry began. “… I do everything to wear as skimpy clothing as possible around him and then I rub up against him when fixing his automail and attempt to make it look all accidental even when it’s not really and…”
Al gave a knowing adorable chuckle that only Al can give before interrupting and saying, “Winry, Winry. Winry. Ed’s just trying to cover up the fact that he’s got a hard on.”
“Really?! But even when I try to talk to him, all he can talk about is getting your body back and I want it back too, but…”
“Hard on. Definitely.”
So the next time Ed had to have a maintenance check up Winry looked, just to be sure. It was a rather large bulge, she noted. She couldn’t hold back any longer. She threw herself on top of him and kissed him passionately. It was extremely delicious, and if Al would’ve had his body at the moment, he would’ve definitely had a hard on too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Which Manga PWNS Anime
“Hey Ed!” said manga!Winry. “Aren’t you happy I’m not a gold digger like I am in the anime?”
“You still take a lot of my money anyway,” said manga!Ed.
“OMG, he is being like soooo mean right now!” said anime!Winry to manga!Winry. “Hit him with your wrench!”
“No, bitch! I don’t take orders from you!” yelled manga!Winry.
Anime!Ed started to cry.
Manga!Ed gave anime!Ed a weird look before turning to watch the two Winrys, who were now mud-wrestling with their tops off.
Anime!Ed got scared and ran off to be comforted by anime!Roy, and anime!Riza made fun of them both and their small dicks.
Meanwhile, manga!Winry called a total K.O. on anime!Winry and manga!Ed was so turned on he ran up and kissed her. It was incredibly sexy and everyone was very happy. The end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Generic Sue Story Featuring Ed (Pt.1)
One day Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, and a generic Sue were walking down a road in central. Sue had flowing blond hair, bright, sparkling blue eyes, and a bubbly personality. But her name is Sue. Not Winry. Winry does not exist in the Sue!verse because she is usually dead or off being a ho.
“Oh, look at that cool fight over there!” Exclaimed Sue. Sue was not a girly girl. She was tough, and hated pink dresses.
“Hey that is pretty cool”, said Ed, flashing her a sly grin. “Should I join in?”
“No stupid!” Sue giggled. “You would probably get hurt~!”
Al was so embarrassed by his brother’s tampered personality and generic Sue that he decided to go out and chill with Mei. Or at least that’s what we are going to assume in this generic Sue story, because the authors always seem to forget about him at this point.
Ed ended up joining the fight anyway, and almost lost, had it not been for Sue and her amazing alchemy skills.
“Oh, wow!” said Ed, truly gob-smacked. “I had no idea you were so talented!”
“Well,” said Sue, blushing a little, “my mother taught me everything she knew before she died. I’ve been mostly teaching myself since then, trying to hold on to what little memories I have left of her…” She bit her lip.
“Shh, shh, it’s OK,” said Ed, putting his automail arm around her shoulder in a very romantic way. “I- I know how you feel. I lost my mother when I was young too.”
Sue embraced him. “Oh, Ed, I’m so sorry! And here I am being so selfish!” Tears began to fall down her beautiful cheeks.
“Hey, don’t cry now”, Ed said softly. “Why don’t we go hang out with Ling?”
Sue sniffed. “OK.” She grinned a little. “Then let’s … you know…” She blushed.
Ed blushed too, but hormones got the best of him, and he leaned down and kissed her softly.
Al, who had been watching from a distance with Mei, began to cry for the lost cause that seemed to be fanfictions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Generic Sue Story Featuring Al (Pt.2)
“I-I really like you, Al…” whispered Jewel, Al’s latest love interest.
“R-Really?” Al said in a disbelieving voice. “Even though I’m… I’m like… like this?” He looked down at his hard, cold, unfeeling body. There was just no way anyone could like him like this…
“Yes!” Jewel trembled in embarrassment and confidence, her feelings mixed in the giant whirlwind of her emotions.
“I like you too, Jewel. I know it must be weird though… I don’t even have my real body-“
“I don’t care about any of that! I like you for who you are!”
Al never felt so ecstatic- even when his brother told him that one time that he might get the philosopher’s stone- nothing could compare to this.
“AND YOU THOUGHT MY STORY WAS BAD!” Ed yelled from a distance.
“Shut up, Ed! And where’s the damn author anyway? Doesn’t she know I don’t talk like that!?”
“Oh, her? Yeah, she’s busy retching into her keyboard. Serves her right. I mean really… Sue? I don’t think so.”
And so, Ed and Al, free from the evil Lali’s reign, began to walk off towards the sunset, humming the newest opening theme from Brotherhood.
Woah. That killed quite a few of my brain cells there. 0.o
No matter. Here's the translation:
I have compiled a few crack!fanfics. Rated teen, probably. Hope you enjoy~
Oh and please comment! Tell me if you liked them. But remember. These are crack!fics and are in no way serious. xD
Lali’s Best EdxWin Fic EVAR
One day at work Winry was clomping around in her usual ho-ish garments: a black tube top-like bra less than 6 inches wide and very untrendy coveralls, topped off with a seductive green bandanna. As she was working on her latest automail, she thought; “Hm. I have been dressing in this ho-ish apparel for quite some time now. And all because of that stoopid boy. Hell, I have even gone as far as putting on miniskirts that barely cover my buttocks, and yet he still ignores me. ALL I WANT IS SOME ALCHEMIST LOVIN’, DAMMIT.” At this particular thought she realized only too late that she had screwed a screw in far too hard, and it actually managed to crack the automail leg she had been repairing. “Stupid Ed and his stupid ripped abs”, she thought bitterly. If only he wasn’t so smexilicious, than perhaps she could forget him and go after some easily seducible country bumpkin. BUT THOSE ABS. AND THAT BRAID. Nothing is sexier than a boy in a braid.
All of a sudden, Ed and Al burst through the door of Garfiel’s Automail. “HEY WINRY!!” They said in unison.
Winry turned around in surprise and began to greet them when she noticed- “DAMN YOU ED” She yelled, throwing a screwdriver at his head.
“WHAT THE FUCK, WOMAN!?” He yelled back. “I DIDN’T EVEN BREAK MY AUTOMAIL.”
“NO YOU STUPID BASTARD, NO! I HATE YOU!” It also happened to be Winry’s time of the month.
Although, some may argue, it wasn’t Ed’s fault he happened to not be wearing a braid that day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lali’s Second Best EdxWin Fic EVAR
It was a gloomy day in the Fullmetal!verse, because Ed was still continuing to ignore Winry’s carefully chosen mini-skirt and tight top. She was actually getting quite peeved.
While Ed was out doing military stuff, she decided to discuss the matter with Al.
“Is Ed gay?” she asked him.
Al made a sort of hollow-snorting sound, even though he never really snorts because he is far too gentlemanly. “No, why?”
“Well…” Winry began. “… I do everything to wear as skimpy clothing as possible around him and then I rub up against him when fixing his automail and attempt to make it look all accidental even when it’s not really and…”
Al gave a knowing adorable chuckle that only Al can give before interrupting and saying, “Winry, Winry. Winry. Ed’s just trying to cover up the fact that he’s got a hard on.”
“Really?! But even when I try to talk to him, all he can talk about is getting your body back and I want it back too, but…”
“Hard on. Definitely.”
So the next time Ed had to have a maintenance check up Winry looked, just to be sure. It was a rather large bulge, she noted. She couldn’t hold back any longer. She threw herself on top of him and kissed him passionately. It was extremely delicious, and if Al would’ve had his body at the moment, he would’ve definitely had a hard on too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Which Manga PWNS Anime
“Hey Ed!” said manga!Winry. “Aren’t you happy I’m not a gold digger like I am in the anime?”
“You still take a lot of my money anyway,” said manga!Ed.
“OMG, he is being like soooo mean right now!” said anime!Winry to manga!Winry. “Hit him with your wrench!”
“No, bitch! I don’t take orders from you!” yelled manga!Winry.
Anime!Ed started to cry.
Manga!Ed gave anime!Ed a weird look before turning to watch the two Winrys, who were now mud-wrestling with their tops off.
Anime!Ed got scared and ran off to be comforted by anime!Roy, and anime!Riza made fun of them both and their small dicks.
Meanwhile, manga!Winry called a total K.O. on anime!Winry and manga!Ed was so turned on he ran up and kissed her. It was incredibly sexy and everyone was very happy. The end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Generic Sue Story Featuring Ed (Pt.1)
One day Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, and a generic Sue were walking down a road in central. Sue had flowing blond hair, bright, sparkling blue eyes, and a bubbly personality. But her name is Sue. Not Winry. Winry does not exist in the Sue!verse because she is usually dead or off being a ho.
“Oh, look at that cool fight over there!” Exclaimed Sue. Sue was not a girly girl. She was tough, and hated pink dresses.
“Hey that is pretty cool”, said Ed, flashing her a sly grin. “Should I join in?”
“No stupid!” Sue giggled. “You would probably get hurt~!”
Al was so embarrassed by his brother’s tampered personality and generic Sue that he decided to go out and chill with Mei. Or at least that’s what we are going to assume in this generic Sue story, because the authors always seem to forget about him at this point.
Ed ended up joining the fight anyway, and almost lost, had it not been for Sue and her amazing alchemy skills.
“Oh, wow!” said Ed, truly gob-smacked. “I had no idea you were so talented!”
“Well,” said Sue, blushing a little, “my mother taught me everything she knew before she died. I’ve been mostly teaching myself since then, trying to hold on to what little memories I have left of her…” She bit her lip.
“Shh, shh, it’s OK,” said Ed, putting his automail arm around her shoulder in a very romantic way. “I- I know how you feel. I lost my mother when I was young too.”
Sue embraced him. “Oh, Ed, I’m so sorry! And here I am being so selfish!” Tears began to fall down her beautiful cheeks.
“Hey, don’t cry now”, Ed said softly. “Why don’t we go hang out with Ling?”
Sue sniffed. “OK.” She grinned a little. “Then let’s … you know…” She blushed.
Ed blushed too, but hormones got the best of him, and he leaned down and kissed her softly.
Al, who had been watching from a distance with Mei, began to cry for the lost cause that seemed to be fanfictions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Generic Sue Story Featuring Al (Pt.2)
“I-I really like you, Al…” whispered Jewel, Al’s latest love interest.
“R-Really?” Al said in a disbelieving voice. “Even though I’m… I’m like… like this?” He looked down at his hard, cold, unfeeling body. There was just no way anyone could like him like this…
“Yes!” Jewel trembled in embarrassment and confidence, her feelings mixed in the giant whirlwind of her emotions.
“I like you too, Jewel. I know it must be weird though… I don’t even have my real body-“
“I don’t care about any of that! I like you for who you are!”
Al never felt so ecstatic- even when his brother told him that one time that he might get the philosopher’s stone- nothing could compare to this.
“AND YOU THOUGHT MY STORY WAS BAD!” Ed yelled from a distance.
“Shut up, Ed! And where’s the damn author anyway? Doesn’t she know I don’t talk like that!?”
“Oh, her? Yeah, she’s busy retching into her keyboard. Serves her right. I mean really… Sue? I don’t think so.”
And so, Ed and Al, free from the evil Lali’s reign, began to walk off towards the sunset, humming the newest opening theme from Brotherhood.