Ho'shit!! entry!!
Title: A Ghost At Thunderhead: Heart's Nexus
Pairing: Speed/Rex
Rating: PG-13 (SAP!! AND... some angst... MOSTLY SAP!)
Description: The Racer brothers have two things…A love that can push the boundaries of time and space… and Thunderhead… the point at which their feelings are strongest.
Words: 2588
Note: Based off princessezzy's AMAZING ficlet A Ghost At Thunderhead . Dedicated to her for her severe amounts of awesome and giving me the chance to write something I have ALWAYS wanted to!! <3
Rex’s POV:
Despite the darkness that enshrouded the track he walked with confidence. He knew this place, knew every dip and rise that fell beneath his feet with a soft metallic echo that faded into the stillness of the night around him.
He couldn’t remember how many times he’d come to the deserted stadium and practiced. He would fine tune his skills, always pushing himself to shave just another tenth of a second off his time, losing himself to his machine until the morning sunlight set the highest peaks of the track on fire with golden light. Tonight though, he’d left his beloved machine at the starting line. He walked the track without purpose, his thoughts wandering over the last race… and to a certain face that continued to haunt him. A face he’d never seen before but felt such connection to… eyes that burned into him and made his heart ache for reasons he couldn’t begin to comprehend.
~~**~~
Speed’s POV:
He’d imagined it… There was no other explanation.
Downshift, drift around the turn, clutch, punch the accelerator…
The lights… the heat of the cars… his own tired mind all played a role what happened on the track the other day. Those eyes at looked at him so sympathetically… nothing.
swing to the outside, sharp cut to the inside, floor the accelerator, take the highroad and cut the corner wide.
His body knew the track and his car obeyed with usual brilliance though he was running harder than he had in a long time. All of his senses were tuned into driving… yet his mind wandered, leaving the roar of his engine and his whispered denials to be torn away in the roar of the wind around him.
He hadn’t seen his brother, he hadn’t seen anything.
take it high to the edge and sling shot through the turn into the straight away… to the finish line…
As much as he wished that to be true…
… it was nothing but a ghost… in his mind.
He lifted his foot off the pedal, letting the car slow in the straightaway.
If it was nothing but a ghost… why did it hurt so bad?
He closed his eyes, trying to suppress the sharp ache in his chest . So many years… and still it hurt so bad.
With a sigh he opened his eyes and instantly his body tightened. Someone…walking… on the track!! By the time these thoughts could form it was too late, he was too close to swerve and too close for his jump jacks to save the day. Speed tried to scream, but his chest was too tight… he could only grasp the wheel in terror as he held his breath for the impact.
The frozen pit in his stomach… the taste on iron where he’d bit his lip too hard… time slowing down as the front right corner of his car flowed through the person like nothing… Speed’s eyes widening as he turned his head, following the image as it merely stopped and looked up at him.
Speed swallowed hard, finding it suddenly nearly impossible to breathe when time caught up to him and he slammed the break, cutting the wheel as sharp as it would turn. The car spun helplessly and the deafening noise of screeching tires and the smell of burnt rubber invaded the night, doing nothing to quell the sickening lurch in Speed’s stomach. Even as the car finally skid to a halt, he sat gripping the wheel… shaking uncontrollably… unable to stop the ache in him manifest into tears this time. He could feel the heat of his breath drifting over his lips trying to get the word out but his mind still refused to believe it. As much as he tried to force “reality” upon himself, more tears slid down his cheeks unchecked… and finally he licked his lips, almost afraid to look back over his shoulder.
Rex…?
~~**~~
Rex’s POV:
The sheer force of the wind nearly knocked him down. He braced himself against the gale that had come out of nowhere on a perfectly still night, but that isn’t what made him stop. The image that appeared held him captivated, all he could do was watch as the car spun soundlessly. It’s driver much more off put by him than he was of it.
He expected it to vanish like it had during the race, a brief glimpse of something Rex wasn’t sure he could possibly ever understand. But slowly the driver shifted, looking back at him over his shoulder… his expression making it perfectly clear that he saw Rex just as Rex saw him.
He was at a completely loss for what do to. Common sense tried to say he should at least be mystified if not flat out scared but common sense also tried to reason with him that ghosts weren’t real and this wasn’t really happening. The figure finally moved, pushing himself effortlessly out of a car Rex couldn’t quite make out the details of. He could only stand and watch as the figure approached him… knowing common sense had no place here.
~~**~~
Speed’s POV:
How many times had he wanted to see his brother if only for a few seconds?… how many times had he dreamt it? All the things he would say… how tightly he would hug him…
His steps were heavy, forced, as he came closer to the figure that hadn‘t moved. His breaths came in tight, ragged draws that left him slightly light headed.
Why now?
He stopped just in front of the shadow of his brother looking up slightly as he was still a good 5 inches shorter than him even now, that detail would have been a comforting thought if he were in any rational state of mind.
Why?
That word the only consistent in a jumble of mixed up thoughts and things to say vying for his attention.
Rex just stared at him, like he wasn’t certain what to make of him, but there was a definite sadness in his eyes that broke Speed’s heart to see.
He tried to hold back the tears again, feeling the heat flush his cheeks and the saline sting his eyes.
“Why?” His voice scarcely cracked out the word. A tiny crack in the dam of the swirling emotions building inside of him. He swallowed hard, choking on his tears.
“All these years… and I…” All the memories came flooding back to him… the love and happiness, the soul shredding sadness… churning up inside him after so long… he always thought his happiness would shadow anything else if he ever got his wish, but now… it was pain, it was anger… and regret…
“Why didn’t you just come back, Rex!? It didn’t have to end that way! It didn’t!! You could’ve… … and we could’ve… and-and!” He stopped, unable to hold back the flood of tears, his balled fists falling limply to his sides in anguish as he realized by the look on Rex’s face that he couldn’t hear a word he was saying.
~~**~~
Rex’s POV:
Those eyes pierced into him. Such beautifully familiar yet sorrowful eyes. He didn’t understand why he was seeing it, or how he was seeing it… but he did understand that look, understood the deep rooted pain that tears could never hope to erase. He also understood his own burning desire to ease that irrepressible sadness.
At first he only looked on as the boy with the beautiful eyes spoke soundlessly, yet his suffering came across clearly and Rex could only stand and watch. The boy appearing more and more heartbroken as he spoke until finally he stopped completely, just starting at him completely devastated… Finally his shoulders sagged and his head fell to his chest.
Rex wanted so badly to wipe those tears away from that sweet face. His heart ached so sharply just watching the boy. Who or what were no longer questions in his mind, only how could he possibly help.
Slowly he eased forward, knowing that even if there wasn’t a physical presence in front of him he could hopefully be understood as he held his arms up around the boy’s shoulders, leaning in closely as if to hold him tightly.
~~**~~
Speed’s POV:
Speed’s shoulder shook violently as he tried to stop the racking sobs from escaping his chest, but every shaking breath he managed to take only seemed to fuel them.
Then, warmth… safety… a sense of peace that enveloped him and the tightness in his chest eased. A warmth that he’d never forgotten… He shuddered a sigh and opened his eyes slowly. A sensation more than a touch, a warmth that seemed to come from within him and he only able to stand in awe of it.
He pulled back, a slight smile on his face, seemingly happy with Speed’s reaction. He slowly brought a hand up, trying to brush at a tear that still clung to his cheek. Again, that sensation and tranquil warmth where he touched. Speed sniffled loudly, quickly bringing his own hand up to brush it away and Rex smile widened.
Rex mouthed something and Speed looked at him confused. He repeated himself slowly and Speed smiled weakly, this time the tears that glittered in his eyes were joyful ones. He gave a small nod.
‘That’s better… it’s alright.’
“There‘s just so many things I want to tell you! About me, about our family! And racing! Everything‘s changed SO much since you… since you…” Speed’s enthusiasm quickly faded when reality came back again. He also guessed Rex hadn’t caught a word of what he just said and although he smiled, his eyes looked a little sad again.
“Rex… I… …I’ve missed you… so much.”
~~**~~
Rex’s POV:
If he had been able to catch anything the boy had said in his excited flurry he didn’t show it… but it was clear by the expression on his face that he’d understood his name and the last of it spoken with such love and admiration in those eyes that he found himself at a sudden loss. The pieces slowly falling into place bringing about an idea he wasn’t sure how to face.
The sheer incomprehensible nature of things that were becoming clearer to him now left him stuck. The ideas of past and present, here and there and the place in which they stood. That fact that he was staring at that angelic face and it had grown and matured into such a handsome visage… but still... those beautiful, innocent eyes held him captive like they always did.
He didn't understand why but only knew he had been the cause of the boy's pain somehow and that alone was enough to bring tears to his eyes. The one person he could never imagine hurting was obviously heartbroken… because of him.
So many words he wanted to say… how he longed to hold him tight again and say it would be okay a thousand times until he could no longer speak. Yet, the only words he could find the strength to say slid from his lips clumsily
“I’m sorry…”
~~**~~
Speed’s POV:
He’d never seen Rex cry. He never seemed the type… but there that image of him stood, an apology laced with glittering tears and Speed instantly rushed forward.
“No! You don‘t have to--” Speed shook his head violently, making gestures like he was brushing away the tears like Rex had done to him. He smiled a bit, his eyes lighting up with it.
“I never stopped…” Speed held a hand against the side of Rex’s face.
“I love you.” He leaned up, moving his face to Rex’s, placing his lips over where Rex’s would be.
His heart pounded in his chest, a rush of cold surging through his blood only to be replaced with the most inviting warmth he’d ever felt.
He hadn’t been sure what to expect. He only knew it was everything he’d ever wanted in his life glorified in a single moment. If he could, he’d give it all up in a heartbeat… only for Rex.
~~**~~
Rex’s POV:
It wasn’t the kiss the surprised him. That brought a calmness to his troubled mind and a happiness he would forever cherish in his heart. It was the heat of Speed’s lips pressed again his that startled him. Rex pulled back slightly, eyes wide as he brushed his fingers against his lips and Speed only smiled, eyes glittering with happiness in understanding that Rex felt it too.
He closed the gap between them again, closing his eyes and letting his hand come up and settle behind Speed’s head as he kissed him back. That same rush of emotion claimed them both and Rex swore he could almost feel the silken texture of hair between his fingers.
Speed’s arm wrapped around Rex’s waist and a couldn’t stop a single tear from falling. Every emotion one thousand words could have never put across the magic of a single kiss against the flow of time wrote volumes in their minds and in their hearts.
“I love you.” Rex whispered against Speed’s lips, knowing nothing about the boy in front of him except that it was indeed some alternate version of Speed, but it was Speed… and that was enough. He meant it with everything he had.
~~**~~
Speed’s POV:
Speed smiled. He didn’t exactly “hear” it said… it was more like he felt it and it burned inside of him more sweetly than words ever could have.
… and he was gone. As mysteriously as the ghost of Thunderhead had appeared before him he’d vanished without a sound, without a shift in the air around him, but before he even opened his eyes he knew it was true. Yet, there was no sadness… He had been given something… and his heart was at rest.
Thinking about Rex now made him smile brightly and gave him a remnant of that warmth they shared. His tears were dried and the shattered pieces of himself made whole again.
He slowly got back into his car, sighing contentedly as he revved it up. That sound igniting his soul like it always did, but now… … it all just seemed a little sharper, a little… better.
Everything was better now.
~~**~~
Rex’s POV:
The Ghost of Thunderhead… Rex decided pretty quickly that if he thought on it too hard he might never move from that spot and he really would be run over by a car come the next race instead of passed through with the whitish ghost of his own somehow future brother.
Thinking on it now he wished he had been able to ask how he was the source of the boy’s terrible sadness but the fact that he was able to make amends brought a brightness into him that made it where he simply couldn’t stop smiling. His fingers brushed over his lips, he swore he could still feel a tingling there…
He thought of his own, much smaller, brother at home… sleeping peacefully in bed… probably dreaming of racing around the track with Rex… and that made him smile too. So he looked around at the darkened track of Thunderhead, the sky was just beginning to show hints of light deep in the distance and Rex knew it was time to go home. To his own family, to his own brother… who’s life and happiness he swore to keep… no matter what happened.
Pairing: Speed/Rex
Rating: PG-13 (SAP!! AND... some angst... MOSTLY SAP!)
Description: The Racer brothers have two things…A love that can push the boundaries of time and space… and Thunderhead… the point at which their feelings are strongest.
Words: 2588
Note: Based off princessezzy's AMAZING ficlet A Ghost At Thunderhead . Dedicated to her for her severe amounts of awesome and giving me the chance to write something I have ALWAYS wanted to!! <3
Rex’s POV:
Despite the darkness that enshrouded the track he walked with confidence. He knew this place, knew every dip and rise that fell beneath his feet with a soft metallic echo that faded into the stillness of the night around him.
He couldn’t remember how many times he’d come to the deserted stadium and practiced. He would fine tune his skills, always pushing himself to shave just another tenth of a second off his time, losing himself to his machine until the morning sunlight set the highest peaks of the track on fire with golden light. Tonight though, he’d left his beloved machine at the starting line. He walked the track without purpose, his thoughts wandering over the last race… and to a certain face that continued to haunt him. A face he’d never seen before but felt such connection to… eyes that burned into him and made his heart ache for reasons he couldn’t begin to comprehend.
~~**~~
Speed’s POV:
He’d imagined it… There was no other explanation.
Downshift, drift around the turn, clutch, punch the accelerator…
The lights… the heat of the cars… his own tired mind all played a role what happened on the track the other day. Those eyes at looked at him so sympathetically… nothing.
swing to the outside, sharp cut to the inside, floor the accelerator, take the highroad and cut the corner wide.
His body knew the track and his car obeyed with usual brilliance though he was running harder than he had in a long time. All of his senses were tuned into driving… yet his mind wandered, leaving the roar of his engine and his whispered denials to be torn away in the roar of the wind around him.
He hadn’t seen his brother, he hadn’t seen anything.
take it high to the edge and sling shot through the turn into the straight away… to the finish line…
As much as he wished that to be true…
… it was nothing but a ghost… in his mind.
He lifted his foot off the pedal, letting the car slow in the straightaway.
If it was nothing but a ghost… why did it hurt so bad?
He closed his eyes, trying to suppress the sharp ache in his chest . So many years… and still it hurt so bad.
With a sigh he opened his eyes and instantly his body tightened. Someone…walking… on the track!! By the time these thoughts could form it was too late, he was too close to swerve and too close for his jump jacks to save the day. Speed tried to scream, but his chest was too tight… he could only grasp the wheel in terror as he held his breath for the impact.
The frozen pit in his stomach… the taste on iron where he’d bit his lip too hard… time slowing down as the front right corner of his car flowed through the person like nothing… Speed’s eyes widening as he turned his head, following the image as it merely stopped and looked up at him.
Speed swallowed hard, finding it suddenly nearly impossible to breathe when time caught up to him and he slammed the break, cutting the wheel as sharp as it would turn. The car spun helplessly and the deafening noise of screeching tires and the smell of burnt rubber invaded the night, doing nothing to quell the sickening lurch in Speed’s stomach. Even as the car finally skid to a halt, he sat gripping the wheel… shaking uncontrollably… unable to stop the ache in him manifest into tears this time. He could feel the heat of his breath drifting over his lips trying to get the word out but his mind still refused to believe it. As much as he tried to force “reality” upon himself, more tears slid down his cheeks unchecked… and finally he licked his lips, almost afraid to look back over his shoulder.
Rex…?
~~**~~
Rex’s POV:
The sheer force of the wind nearly knocked him down. He braced himself against the gale that had come out of nowhere on a perfectly still night, but that isn’t what made him stop. The image that appeared held him captivated, all he could do was watch as the car spun soundlessly. It’s driver much more off put by him than he was of it.
He expected it to vanish like it had during the race, a brief glimpse of something Rex wasn’t sure he could possibly ever understand. But slowly the driver shifted, looking back at him over his shoulder… his expression making it perfectly clear that he saw Rex just as Rex saw him.
He was at a completely loss for what do to. Common sense tried to say he should at least be mystified if not flat out scared but common sense also tried to reason with him that ghosts weren’t real and this wasn’t really happening. The figure finally moved, pushing himself effortlessly out of a car Rex couldn’t quite make out the details of. He could only stand and watch as the figure approached him… knowing common sense had no place here.
~~**~~
Speed’s POV:
How many times had he wanted to see his brother if only for a few seconds?… how many times had he dreamt it? All the things he would say… how tightly he would hug him…
His steps were heavy, forced, as he came closer to the figure that hadn‘t moved. His breaths came in tight, ragged draws that left him slightly light headed.
Why now?
He stopped just in front of the shadow of his brother looking up slightly as he was still a good 5 inches shorter than him even now, that detail would have been a comforting thought if he were in any rational state of mind.
Why?
That word the only consistent in a jumble of mixed up thoughts and things to say vying for his attention.
Rex just stared at him, like he wasn’t certain what to make of him, but there was a definite sadness in his eyes that broke Speed’s heart to see.
He tried to hold back the tears again, feeling the heat flush his cheeks and the saline sting his eyes.
“Why?” His voice scarcely cracked out the word. A tiny crack in the dam of the swirling emotions building inside of him. He swallowed hard, choking on his tears.
“All these years… and I…” All the memories came flooding back to him… the love and happiness, the soul shredding sadness… churning up inside him after so long… he always thought his happiness would shadow anything else if he ever got his wish, but now… it was pain, it was anger… and regret…
“Why didn’t you just come back, Rex!? It didn’t have to end that way! It didn’t!! You could’ve… … and we could’ve… and-and!” He stopped, unable to hold back the flood of tears, his balled fists falling limply to his sides in anguish as he realized by the look on Rex’s face that he couldn’t hear a word he was saying.
~~**~~
Rex’s POV:
Those eyes pierced into him. Such beautifully familiar yet sorrowful eyes. He didn’t understand why he was seeing it, or how he was seeing it… but he did understand that look, understood the deep rooted pain that tears could never hope to erase. He also understood his own burning desire to ease that irrepressible sadness.
At first he only looked on as the boy with the beautiful eyes spoke soundlessly, yet his suffering came across clearly and Rex could only stand and watch. The boy appearing more and more heartbroken as he spoke until finally he stopped completely, just starting at him completely devastated… Finally his shoulders sagged and his head fell to his chest.
Rex wanted so badly to wipe those tears away from that sweet face. His heart ached so sharply just watching the boy. Who or what were no longer questions in his mind, only how could he possibly help.
Slowly he eased forward, knowing that even if there wasn’t a physical presence in front of him he could hopefully be understood as he held his arms up around the boy’s shoulders, leaning in closely as if to hold him tightly.
~~**~~
Speed’s POV:
Speed’s shoulder shook violently as he tried to stop the racking sobs from escaping his chest, but every shaking breath he managed to take only seemed to fuel them.
Then, warmth… safety… a sense of peace that enveloped him and the tightness in his chest eased. A warmth that he’d never forgotten… He shuddered a sigh and opened his eyes slowly. A sensation more than a touch, a warmth that seemed to come from within him and he only able to stand in awe of it.
He pulled back, a slight smile on his face, seemingly happy with Speed’s reaction. He slowly brought a hand up, trying to brush at a tear that still clung to his cheek. Again, that sensation and tranquil warmth where he touched. Speed sniffled loudly, quickly bringing his own hand up to brush it away and Rex smile widened.
Rex mouthed something and Speed looked at him confused. He repeated himself slowly and Speed smiled weakly, this time the tears that glittered in his eyes were joyful ones. He gave a small nod.
‘That’s better… it’s alright.’
“There‘s just so many things I want to tell you! About me, about our family! And racing! Everything‘s changed SO much since you… since you…” Speed’s enthusiasm quickly faded when reality came back again. He also guessed Rex hadn’t caught a word of what he just said and although he smiled, his eyes looked a little sad again.
“Rex… I… …I’ve missed you… so much.”
~~**~~
Rex’s POV:
If he had been able to catch anything the boy had said in his excited flurry he didn’t show it… but it was clear by the expression on his face that he’d understood his name and the last of it spoken with such love and admiration in those eyes that he found himself at a sudden loss. The pieces slowly falling into place bringing about an idea he wasn’t sure how to face.
The sheer incomprehensible nature of things that were becoming clearer to him now left him stuck. The ideas of past and present, here and there and the place in which they stood. That fact that he was staring at that angelic face and it had grown and matured into such a handsome visage… but still... those beautiful, innocent eyes held him captive like they always did.
He didn't understand why but only knew he had been the cause of the boy's pain somehow and that alone was enough to bring tears to his eyes. The one person he could never imagine hurting was obviously heartbroken… because of him.
So many words he wanted to say… how he longed to hold him tight again and say it would be okay a thousand times until he could no longer speak. Yet, the only words he could find the strength to say slid from his lips clumsily
“I’m sorry…”
~~**~~
Speed’s POV:
He’d never seen Rex cry. He never seemed the type… but there that image of him stood, an apology laced with glittering tears and Speed instantly rushed forward.
“No! You don‘t have to--” Speed shook his head violently, making gestures like he was brushing away the tears like Rex had done to him. He smiled a bit, his eyes lighting up with it.
“I never stopped…” Speed held a hand against the side of Rex’s face.
“I love you.” He leaned up, moving his face to Rex’s, placing his lips over where Rex’s would be.
His heart pounded in his chest, a rush of cold surging through his blood only to be replaced with the most inviting warmth he’d ever felt.
He hadn’t been sure what to expect. He only knew it was everything he’d ever wanted in his life glorified in a single moment. If he could, he’d give it all up in a heartbeat… only for Rex.
~~**~~
Rex’s POV:
It wasn’t the kiss the surprised him. That brought a calmness to his troubled mind and a happiness he would forever cherish in his heart. It was the heat of Speed’s lips pressed again his that startled him. Rex pulled back slightly, eyes wide as he brushed his fingers against his lips and Speed only smiled, eyes glittering with happiness in understanding that Rex felt it too.
He closed the gap between them again, closing his eyes and letting his hand come up and settle behind Speed’s head as he kissed him back. That same rush of emotion claimed them both and Rex swore he could almost feel the silken texture of hair between his fingers.
Speed’s arm wrapped around Rex’s waist and a couldn’t stop a single tear from falling. Every emotion one thousand words could have never put across the magic of a single kiss against the flow of time wrote volumes in their minds and in their hearts.
“I love you.” Rex whispered against Speed’s lips, knowing nothing about the boy in front of him except that it was indeed some alternate version of Speed, but it was Speed… and that was enough. He meant it with everything he had.
~~**~~
Speed’s POV:
Speed smiled. He didn’t exactly “hear” it said… it was more like he felt it and it burned inside of him more sweetly than words ever could have.
… and he was gone. As mysteriously as the ghost of Thunderhead had appeared before him he’d vanished without a sound, without a shift in the air around him, but before he even opened his eyes he knew it was true. Yet, there was no sadness… He had been given something… and his heart was at rest.
Thinking about Rex now made him smile brightly and gave him a remnant of that warmth they shared. His tears were dried and the shattered pieces of himself made whole again.
He slowly got back into his car, sighing contentedly as he revved it up. That sound igniting his soul like it always did, but now… … it all just seemed a little sharper, a little… better.
Everything was better now.
~~**~~
Rex’s POV:
The Ghost of Thunderhead… Rex decided pretty quickly that if he thought on it too hard he might never move from that spot and he really would be run over by a car come the next race instead of passed through with the whitish ghost of his own somehow future brother.
Thinking on it now he wished he had been able to ask how he was the source of the boy’s terrible sadness but the fact that he was able to make amends brought a brightness into him that made it where he simply couldn’t stop smiling. His fingers brushed over his lips, he swore he could still feel a tingling there…
He thought of his own, much smaller, brother at home… sleeping peacefully in bed… probably dreaming of racing around the track with Rex… and that made him smile too. So he looked around at the darkened track of Thunderhead, the sky was just beginning to show hints of light deep in the distance and Rex knew it was time to go home. To his own family, to his own brother… who’s life and happiness he swore to keep… no matter what happened.