OMIGAWD | Pinto | PG-13
Title: OMIGAWD
Series: Pinto
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~1,000
Warnings: Unnecessary use of caps. Also, unbeta’ed & mistakes are mine.
Summary: Pinto discover Pinto fic and resolve to write Pinto fic.
Disclaimer: Somewhere over the slash rainbow of my mind, it happened. But not in Kansas, unfortunately.
A/N: Well, since I was on vacation when the kink meme went up at ontd_pinto, I missed out on the immediate fun of the thread. But I couldn’t resist filling something anyway!
Choseph Stalin:
http://bean4lyfe.livejournal.com/69280.html
YOU WANT TO GO TO THERE
“Ung,” Chris says as he squints at his glowing iphone screen from underneath a pillow. He knows the morning sunlight is out there in the great beyond that is the bedroom, and has no interest in facing it.
He hears Zach hm? beside him in reply, although he’s already sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard and clattering away on his Mac.
Early birds make Chris fucking sick.
Anyway, abhorrent morning cheerfulness aside, Zach still has cuddling going for him. That’s good for something.
Chris rolls to face the heat of Zach’s body beneath the blankets and tucks snugly against him with more than a few flailing limbs.
“The mighty kraken awakes?” Zach says in that almost annoyingly always-sexy way he speaks.
“No, he’s still sleeping, but I guess I’m awake.”
“Gross.”
“Shut up, my dick is prodigious.”
“Excellent retort.”
Chris thrusts his hand from the mess of sheets and drops his phone in the general vicinity of what he assumes is Zach’s lap.
“Go to there.”
“What? Are you sleep-talking? Are you starting up with your secret code language again?”
“Tsch. No. Cho sent me a link. Go to it.”
“What’s it for?”
“Less talk, more doing.”
Zach pats Chris’ head through the blanket. “The motto that made me fall in love with you.”
Chris just grunts in recognition, but nuzzles his face against Zach’s smooth, warm hip beneath the covers.
A few muzzy moments later and Zach emits a noise akin to a small, confused dog.
“Whuh,” Chris not-says.
“Oh my god.”
“What?”
“Ohmigawd.”
“Becky, look at her butt?”
Curiosity gets the best of Chris and he rises from the depths of the sheets to pop his head out and lean against Zach’s shoulder. He flicks a glance to Zach’s face and finds the stubbly visage somewhere between horrified and awed.
And then Chris sees what’s going on.
“Is this porn.” Not a question.
Zach squeaks, leaning in toward the screen.
“Of us.”
“Oh my god.”
Chris squints at the story which appears to start with sex from the very first.
“Wait - what - what is this? I am not a slutty bottom!”
“You are kind of a slutty bottom,” Zach says, but he’s already frowning at the screen. “Wow, I’m a real asshole in this story.”
“Well, you are kind of an asshole,” Chris says, which earns him a half-hearted scowl.
...
“They used the word shaft!”
...
“There is rimming.”
He and Zach drop into silence as they read with morbid fascination, both enraptured by the horror story unfolding before them.
“Well at least they got my dick right,” Chris says after a time.
“At least they made me top.”
“I top too!” Chris says as he scrolls down the screen because Zach is a slow reader and he wants to get to the part where they argue about Chris’ apparently evil, womanising bisexual ways while Zach spills his feelings like a girl.
“Oh look, you’re crying,” Chris points out with glee.
“You’re the cry baby,” Zach grumbles. “And why am I so controlling and needy? Omigawd omigawd, are you seeing this. What -”
“I don’t understand why you can’t just make a commitment to this, Christopher,” Chris recites, his face hot as he chokes on laughter. “Zach’s eyes burned bright in the dingy streetlamp light, his face tight and expectant. Oh shit, I’m crying, I can’t stop. Zach, oh Zach - if I ever see your eyes burning I promise to throw some water in your face ASAP.”
“Why am I crying, though?” Zach is still stuck on his fictional representation. “And why aren’t you comforting me? Look, you’re walking away - look!”
“I’m too cool to comfort you, man,” Chris says sagely. “See, here. Chris didn’t need this. Didn’t need to change for a man who had claimed to love him just as he was.”
“Well.” Zach frowns at the screen. “That’s not very nice.”
“Well maybe you should just accept me as I am, Zachary,” Chris says with a shrug that gets him a short jab in the arm in reply. Chris smiles with cloying sweetness, but the kiss he places on Zach’s temple is genuine and warm.
They dubiously read on - Chris shaking and crying and Zach uttering about fifty-seven omigawds.
“I think we need to set the record straight,” Chris says after he’s wiped his eyes and found his lungs and put them back in their rightful place.
“Gay.”
“Right. Set the record gay,” he amends as he sits up in bed, rests against the headboard, and steals Zach’s laptop.
“Wait, why do you get to type?”
“Because you wouldn’t use proper capitalisation like the hipster fuck you are. The whole fic would be like the exploration into sensory perceptions of no-one-gives-a-fuck. These girls want sex and I am the man for the job.”
“Says the guy who lost his virginity at twenty-one.”
“SAYS THE GUY WHO SHOULD SHUT UP.”
“It’s your dry wit that attracts me to you always.”
“I know. Now let’s get our write on.”
“As long as you promise never to say that again.”
“No can do, hotstuff.”
***
“Wait, you think about choking me on your cock to shut me up?”
“Only weekly.”
***
“I do not make weird animal noises.”
“You do! Kinda like you swallowed some type of orca or sea-dwelling creature that moans and whistles into the ocean for its mate.”
“That’s awful. Just awful. I hate you.”
***
“You dream about cutting up my skinny jeans?”
Chris ruffles Zach’s hair in that obnoxiously condescending way he know he can. “Only some, babe. Only some. They’re kind of abominations.”
Zach ducks his head and snaps at Chris’ wrist like a Chihuahua. “Says the man who wears clogs.”
“Says the man who shaved his back.”
“THAT WAS ONE TIME.”
“It’s going in the fic!”
“Don’t you dare, Christopher Whitelaw Pine!”
There’s a scrabble and Chris comes out on top. See, he does top sometimes.
“It’s there now - it’s written! The whole world will know that you’re a back-shaver.”
“Well then I’ll tell them how you cried during sex.”
“THAT WAS ONE TIME. And we’d just watched Old Yeller.”
“And now everyone will know.”
“I hate you.”
“I love you too.”
***
The story ends up being a mix of two true to life incidents melded into one. There was the time they stayed in on Chris’ birthday and watched Old Yeller, and there was the time Zach stormed in from a modelling gig all pissed off because someone said that his back reminded them of a shag carpet.
Basically the fic wound up as so:
Zach blusters in on Chris’ birthday and demands they shave his back, after which they eat cheap frozen pizza and drink horrendously expensive wine, and watch Old Yeller and fuck until Chris cries.
Needless to say, it does not get many comments.
Series: Pinto
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~1,000
Warnings: Unnecessary use of caps. Also, unbeta’ed & mistakes are mine.
Summary: Pinto discover Pinto fic and resolve to write Pinto fic.
Disclaimer: Somewhere over the slash rainbow of my mind, it happened. But not in Kansas, unfortunately.
A/N: Well, since I was on vacation when the kink meme went up at ontd_pinto, I missed out on the immediate fun of the thread. But I couldn’t resist filling something anyway!
Choseph Stalin:
http://bean4lyfe.livejournal.com/69280.html
YOU WANT TO GO TO THERE
“Ung,” Chris says as he squints at his glowing iphone screen from underneath a pillow. He knows the morning sunlight is out there in the great beyond that is the bedroom, and has no interest in facing it.
He hears Zach hm? beside him in reply, although he’s already sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard and clattering away on his Mac.
Early birds make Chris fucking sick.
Anyway, abhorrent morning cheerfulness aside, Zach still has cuddling going for him. That’s good for something.
Chris rolls to face the heat of Zach’s body beneath the blankets and tucks snugly against him with more than a few flailing limbs.
“The mighty kraken awakes?” Zach says in that almost annoyingly always-sexy way he speaks.
“No, he’s still sleeping, but I guess I’m awake.”
“Gross.”
“Shut up, my dick is prodigious.”
“Excellent retort.”
Chris thrusts his hand from the mess of sheets and drops his phone in the general vicinity of what he assumes is Zach’s lap.
“Go to there.”
“What? Are you sleep-talking? Are you starting up with your secret code language again?”
“Tsch. No. Cho sent me a link. Go to it.”
“What’s it for?”
“Less talk, more doing.”
Zach pats Chris’ head through the blanket. “The motto that made me fall in love with you.”
Chris just grunts in recognition, but nuzzles his face against Zach’s smooth, warm hip beneath the covers.
A few muzzy moments later and Zach emits a noise akin to a small, confused dog.
“Whuh,” Chris not-says.
“Oh my god.”
“What?”
“Ohmigawd.”
“Becky, look at her butt?”
Curiosity gets the best of Chris and he rises from the depths of the sheets to pop his head out and lean against Zach’s shoulder. He flicks a glance to Zach’s face and finds the stubbly visage somewhere between horrified and awed.
And then Chris sees what’s going on.
“Is this porn.” Not a question.
Zach squeaks, leaning in toward the screen.
“Of us.”
“Oh my god.”
Chris squints at the story which appears to start with sex from the very first.
“Wait - what - what is this? I am not a slutty bottom!”
“You are kind of a slutty bottom,” Zach says, but he’s already frowning at the screen. “Wow, I’m a real asshole in this story.”
“Well, you are kind of an asshole,” Chris says, which earns him a half-hearted scowl.
...
“They used the word shaft!”
...
“There is rimming.”
He and Zach drop into silence as they read with morbid fascination, both enraptured by the horror story unfolding before them.
“Well at least they got my dick right,” Chris says after a time.
“At least they made me top.”
“I top too!” Chris says as he scrolls down the screen because Zach is a slow reader and he wants to get to the part where they argue about Chris’ apparently evil, womanising bisexual ways while Zach spills his feelings like a girl.
“Oh look, you’re crying,” Chris points out with glee.
“You’re the cry baby,” Zach grumbles. “And why am I so controlling and needy? Omigawd omigawd, are you seeing this. What -”
“I don’t understand why you can’t just make a commitment to this, Christopher,” Chris recites, his face hot as he chokes on laughter. “Zach’s eyes burned bright in the dingy streetlamp light, his face tight and expectant. Oh shit, I’m crying, I can’t stop. Zach, oh Zach - if I ever see your eyes burning I promise to throw some water in your face ASAP.”
“Why am I crying, though?” Zach is still stuck on his fictional representation. “And why aren’t you comforting me? Look, you’re walking away - look!”
“I’m too cool to comfort you, man,” Chris says sagely. “See, here. Chris didn’t need this. Didn’t need to change for a man who had claimed to love him just as he was.”
“Well.” Zach frowns at the screen. “That’s not very nice.”
“Well maybe you should just accept me as I am, Zachary,” Chris says with a shrug that gets him a short jab in the arm in reply. Chris smiles with cloying sweetness, but the kiss he places on Zach’s temple is genuine and warm.
They dubiously read on - Chris shaking and crying and Zach uttering about fifty-seven omigawds.
“I think we need to set the record straight,” Chris says after he’s wiped his eyes and found his lungs and put them back in their rightful place.
“Gay.”
“Right. Set the record gay,” he amends as he sits up in bed, rests against the headboard, and steals Zach’s laptop.
“Wait, why do you get to type?”
“Because you wouldn’t use proper capitalisation like the hipster fuck you are. The whole fic would be like the exploration into sensory perceptions of no-one-gives-a-fuck. These girls want sex and I am the man for the job.”
“Says the guy who lost his virginity at twenty-one.”
“SAYS THE GUY WHO SHOULD SHUT UP.”
“It’s your dry wit that attracts me to you always.”
“I know. Now let’s get our write on.”
“As long as you promise never to say that again.”
“No can do, hotstuff.”
***
“Wait, you think about choking me on your cock to shut me up?”
“Only weekly.”
***
“I do not make weird animal noises.”
“You do! Kinda like you swallowed some type of orca or sea-dwelling creature that moans and whistles into the ocean for its mate.”
“That’s awful. Just awful. I hate you.”
***
“You dream about cutting up my skinny jeans?”
Chris ruffles Zach’s hair in that obnoxiously condescending way he know he can. “Only some, babe. Only some. They’re kind of abominations.”
Zach ducks his head and snaps at Chris’ wrist like a Chihuahua. “Says the man who wears clogs.”
“Says the man who shaved his back.”
“THAT WAS ONE TIME.”
“It’s going in the fic!”
“Don’t you dare, Christopher Whitelaw Pine!”
There’s a scrabble and Chris comes out on top. See, he does top sometimes.
“It’s there now - it’s written! The whole world will know that you’re a back-shaver.”
“Well then I’ll tell them how you cried during sex.”
“THAT WAS ONE TIME. And we’d just watched Old Yeller.”
“And now everyone will know.”
“I hate you.”
“I love you too.”
***
The story ends up being a mix of two true to life incidents melded into one. There was the time they stayed in on Chris’ birthday and watched Old Yeller, and there was the time Zach stormed in from a modelling gig all pissed off because someone said that his back reminded them of a shag carpet.
Basically the fic wound up as so:
Zach blusters in on Chris’ birthday and demands they shave his back, after which they eat cheap frozen pizza and drink horrendously expensive wine, and watch Old Yeller and fuck until Chris cries.
Needless to say, it does not get many comments.