dont forget to call me when you 'make it'
I love how the year out of my entire youth group experience, that was the most meaningful year of my life and the one that I learned so much about myself in, is totally shot to hell and doesnt mean a damn thing to certain people. If you knew that you werent going to be able to keep in touch then those words "Girls you mean so much to us, and we will always be here for you and we love you and we'll always come down and see you and hang out" wouldn't have meant so much to me. We call you guys and try to make plans and all we get is an answering machine and its not fair, an answering machine is not a valid means of conversation. I just dont understand how in life things can mean so much to people and then the same thing means nothing to the other person. I guess it was just a job for you both and you fed us the lines you feed everyone you meet and have to leave. I forgive you but i want to know why and i want you to just be honest about the fact that you dont care about seeing us anymore. Is that to much to ask?
*you left me here with nothing to lose..
and as i take it all back, i'd still take it from you..
and i'm writing the same words every time..
but i guess that never mattered to you..
and i'm sorry that it didn't quite work out this time..
so you can deal with your regrets, and i'll deal with mine..
and don't forget to call me when you 'make it.'
and for now, i'll just think what i want..
this time, it's plain to see..
after everything, i will be the one who is left laughing..
and i hope that you meant it, everything you said..
you're too blind to see it going wrong again..
well don't tell me that it's nothing..
i can see it's killing you..
and i'll take every word you say as gospel - take it straight to heart..
and i hate you, but i love you, and i swear it doesn't matter..
and you're running away, screaming 'i can't take this'..
you beat me and you broke me, and now i'm falling down..
if i'm falling down, pretend you don't know.*
I thought that in Graig and Kassie I had 2 good friends, im not that mad at Kassie and I'm not really surprised that she doesnt talk to us anymore but Graig...Graig was my best guy friend at one time and I truly cared about him. He was the one person that I knew that I could always come to and always have him there to talk to and make me laugh. I feel like that person is gone and I dont even know him anymore at all. I hate when friendships just die and no one wants to take the blame for it. Kelly and I talked for an hour about it and we are just fed up with it and we understand all the details and the blah blah blahs but we just want answers and we want to know that we did mean something to them atleast and that they miss us atleast. I dont know if they will ever give us that but we will just have to wait and see I guess. Until then, we'll be waiting.
<3
Stephanie
*you left me here with nothing to lose..
and as i take it all back, i'd still take it from you..
and i'm writing the same words every time..
but i guess that never mattered to you..
and i'm sorry that it didn't quite work out this time..
so you can deal with your regrets, and i'll deal with mine..
and don't forget to call me when you 'make it.'
and for now, i'll just think what i want..
this time, it's plain to see..
after everything, i will be the one who is left laughing..
and i hope that you meant it, everything you said..
you're too blind to see it going wrong again..
well don't tell me that it's nothing..
i can see it's killing you..
and i'll take every word you say as gospel - take it straight to heart..
and i hate you, but i love you, and i swear it doesn't matter..
and you're running away, screaming 'i can't take this'..
you beat me and you broke me, and now i'm falling down..
if i'm falling down, pretend you don't know.*
I thought that in Graig and Kassie I had 2 good friends, im not that mad at Kassie and I'm not really surprised that she doesnt talk to us anymore but Graig...Graig was my best guy friend at one time and I truly cared about him. He was the one person that I knew that I could always come to and always have him there to talk to and make me laugh. I feel like that person is gone and I dont even know him anymore at all. I hate when friendships just die and no one wants to take the blame for it. Kelly and I talked for an hour about it and we are just fed up with it and we understand all the details and the blah blah blahs but we just want answers and we want to know that we did mean something to them atleast and that they miss us atleast. I dont know if they will ever give us that but we will just have to wait and see I guess. Until then, we'll be waiting.
<3
Stephanie