The Long Surrender: 6/??
Title: The Long Surrender
Author: lalalive23
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Fluff and sadness, swearing
Summary: AU. Matt moved to Spain immediately after his lover left him to continue his work on the Spanish guitar. When Dom takes a holiday with his new fiancee, his world gets turned upside down and nothing is ever the same again.
Feedback: Is awesome. I like it. Keep it coming?
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse. If I did, they sure as hell would not be let out of the naughty closet. I don't make money off this. If I did, I would be a rich lady and not distracting myself from writing an undergrad thesis that is somehow much bigger than I.
Note: I send an arsenal of beautiful men to dolce_piccante , millionstar , and sunshine_173 for being bit readers, lovers, inspiration givers, NaNoWriMo cheerleaders and genuinely incredible friends. The Long Surrender soundtrack is coming soon. This story has been written to a very specific playlist I made last month before I started writing this. Also, I am on a roll with NaNo, the likes of which I haven't seen since I started doing it in 2007. I'm falling in love with this story, it's concept and it's future plot lines. Every comment I get on it makes me feel like it's my birthday, Christmas, and my boyfriend giving me a present all in one. I love all of my readers. I am convinced they are the best. Thank you for reading, commenting, and just being beautiful people. I love you all!
NaNo word count: 25,855
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5
The coming days proved to be difficult for Dominic, the lack of contact with Matthew entirely against every one of his body's wishes. He found himself feeling like a teenager, and with that feeling came all the emotions of a school boy crush. The magnetic attraction he felt lead him to check his mobile repeatedly, looking desperately for missed calls or texts from the brunet that set his heart to fluttering. Julia had noticed, as he was not completely discrete about the action, and had joked with him about it, asking if he had a hot date he was eager to attend. He wanted to laugh, truly, but he found no humour in the sentiment; the prospect of spending extended alone time with the burnet was overwhelmingly tempting. What bothered him most about his state of unrest was that his constant urge to check his mobile was disturbingly unfounded and uncalled for. There was absolutely no reason for Matthew to call him, but he absolutely wanted there to be.
Every particle of Dominic wanted to discuss everything and nothing with the musician. Subjects like his favourite books, favourite music, thoughts on politics, art and science; the weather, flowers, birds, whether trees had hearts. Every question Dominic could ask would be met with the most wonderful and inspiring responses from Matthew, he was sure, and everything Dominic knew of the world would surely change once he became privy to Matthew's personal opinions.
Dominic was no stranger to this sensation, having experienced it before when he became involved with Julia. When she spoke, he felt as though new colours were forming in the dull spectrum of his world, objects taking new shapes and his mundane reality became an exquisitely enriched space within which for him to exist. And it was exactly this reason that he was frightened of himself, worrying that this connection with Matthew was on account to the newness of their blossoming relationship. He would refuse his body the urge to explore the affinity to the lengths it longed for, his responsibility and love for Julia sorely outweighing the other. But, it was exactly the exploration of the relationship at all the feared him. For if he did, explore the relationship at all, that is, he was sure his will to resist his attraction would evaporate at the same speed of the disintegration of the intimate force binding him to Julia.
More than he yearned to speak to Matthew, the root of his desire was laced in the pleasure he received when he so easily slipped into the foreign language that seemed to surround him at the present. If Matthew would oblige him in his wishes, Dom was sure he could listen to the man speak it four hours, all day - he would get off on it at night while the two were on the phone, the voice heavy and panting into his ear with an accent as they came together.
This was desire was, of course, the most present in his mind because the language was the most present part of his day. The activities he entertained with Julia meant that she was in control of the communication with those around them. Of course she used her language skills to the maximum capacity and, whenever she did, Dominic found himself becoming progressively more annoyed with the way her mouth perfectly formed the words. There was, for all tenses and purposes, no difference between the way either she or Matthew spoke the language, their skill and accent, truthfully, exactly the same. At some other point, perhaps at some other place in his timeline, Dominic would have found it in him to agree or accept this fact. But the difference in his world, at that exact moment, was most definitely tangible.
When he had first noticed it, he had listened closely to the little conversations Julia held with waiters and various strangers, hoping her words would incite the same zestful eroticism Matthew's had. It never came. And now, as they walked from street to street enjoying the scenery, engaging in a scope of tourism Dominic hadn't enjoyed since his late teens, he found himself wishing she would quit the language altogether.
"Baby, you ok?" Julia's voice brought him back to reality, her concerned eyes making him hate himself for thinking a single negative thing about her.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied softly. To prove his point, he leant down to kiss her, and he felt her smile against the contact. "Where are we now?" he asked as they broke apart.
Tossing her hair behind her shoulder, she pulled out a map from her bag. Unfolding it carefully, she searched around briefly before pointing to a spot on the outskirts of Madrid's center. "Here, by Plaza de Colon. The National Archeology Museum should be around here somewhere. I think it's down this street here and then to the right." She pointed ahead and shook her finger around in a nonchalant wave.
Dom cringed. "Are we really going there?" he asked slowly.
"Well," Julia began with a blush, "I was hoping we would. It was one of the places I never got to see when I was last here." She sounded hopeful, her eyes getting wide in hopes to persuade him and he did his best not to give in.
Museums were never his thing, only really interested in them if they were filled with art. Historical museums bored him to death, the locations and peoples they listed so far removed from his lifetime he felt they were almost abstract. It was not that he was uneducated or ignorant, he merely could not find it within himself to care.
But while his mind had been absorbed completely with Matthew's face, his heart was not so removed to refuse her every wish, the love he felt for her still residentially grounded within its core. And so, he nodded, laughing heartily as Julia threw her arms around him in thanks.
"Yay! Baby you will love it. After, we can go to the park right around the corner, I promise." She kissed his cheek and wiggled her eyebrows. "You'll get a treat later, don't worry." One of her hands snaked between them to palm and squeeze his cock, tugging a yelp from his chest. She walked away laughing, leaving him to follow behind as he blushed.
With her back to him, he checked his mobile once more only to have his screen appear before him in the same fashion it had just minutes before. He decided, then, he would play a game with himself in the museum, and perhaps at various other times during their stay in Madrid. He would only check his phone in thirty minute increments, forcing himself to focus on other things and not on Matthew - to focus on Julia, not Matthew.
Maybe, just maybe, he would make it past the thirty minute mark and eventually forget to look altogether.
He did not see how it would be possible, but he was determined to try.
~*~
Sitting calmly at a small table in a cafe not far from his flat, Matthew sipped his coffee with pleasure as he waited for his to arrive for their lesson. Vida Colon was his favourite student, her fluency in English advanced beyond necessity for a tutor, thus allowing for more extravagant conversations. She feared that she would forget the language if she did not find someone to practice with and had called Matthew in search of friendly chats to keep herself up to snuff.
At the time of their first lesson, he had found himself apprehensive of the depth of the conversation, the gravity of his situation not entirely something he was eager to discuss with a stranger. Vida was a keen observer, her ability to read Matthew and his emotions almost something akin to that of a psychic. Instantly, she had known that he was suffering a serious heartache, though she was unsure of the cause and did not press him for information. He could not deny the girl details for long, it being only fair as she willingly divulged things that could be considered confidential anecdotes in favor for advancement in their discussion topics.
It was silly of him to hold back the things he wanted to share, but Vida's life was a colourful one. Filled with boys, girlfriends, and travel, it would mark a drastic tonal shift in conversation if he confessed the despairing details of his life. He did not want to be pitied, nor was he seeking advice, and so their chats had been oddly one sided; Vida sharing stories of her weekend while Matthew asked questions to keep her talking.
Now that he met Dominic, he found himself predisposed to open up, the new friendship proving to unlock parts of him that he had pushed away out of necessity, or ignored in a vain attempt to mope under the guise of healing. What Dominic had done for him in just a few days time had proven to be exactly the sort of thing he needed to push himself away from the isolation he had imposed upon himself, seeking to reach out to the other minor connections in his life and begin to start anew. More than anyone else, it was Vida he was eager to surprise with his new found vocal skills. Though he would not discuss, in any shape or form, his break up with Evan, the improvement on his part would be staggering and he was sure she would appreciate it. The small step forward was a triumph and he was not ashamed for it, because it meant that he was making moves to fix what was wrong in his life, and baby steps were the only way to start.
Vida entered the cafe on time, as she usually was, spotting Matthew with a wave as she walked to the table he had selected.
"You look happy," she said as she came to sit, dropping her bag at the side of her chair. Her thick accent did not mar the clarity of her words. Folding her hands on the table, she leaned forward and grinned. "So, what's happened?"
Matthew allowed a light chuckle to escape him as he looked away from her stare, focusing on his hands as they pushed the cup away from him. "Am I really that obvious?" he asked.
Vida paused, Matthew raising his eyes to hers once more after she did not reply. She cocked a sly eyebrow at him as she began to speak. "Matt, everything about your body language screams that there has been a change in your mood. You really can't hide from me at all."
He laughed, then, heartily and loud, shocking even himself with its high pitch. Briefly he reflected on how much he loved that she called him Matt, so few people in Spain seeming to do so. He stopped himself immediately, as he caught himself wishing that Dominic would come up with a nickname for him. "Well, I do have a bit of news. I have an audition in London in two weeks with a studio manager. He wants to help me record a demo." He finished his sentence and beamed at her.
Vida stared at him blankly and his smile fell. He would have thought she would be excited for him, and now it appeared she had hardly understood him at all. Opening his mouth to speak, he found himself silenced as she raised the palm of her hand. "Hold on. I am trying to process everything you just said."
"I don't understand," Matthew said confused. "You should have understood me perfectly well."
"Oh no," she said slowly. "I understand your English perfectly well. It's the fact that I didn't even know you played an instrument that's getting to me. And now you're telling me you are seeing studio managers and going back to London. I need a minute. You can't just spring all that on me at once." She had started smiling as she said her words, letting Matthew in on the fact that she was merely surprised that he had given her information about his private life. She was, as he had expected she would do, messing with him. But it concerned him that she didn't know he was musically inclined, positive that he had told her before.
"I'm absolutely positive that I told you I play music," he said, his tone urging her to think back and try to remember.
Her face said she would have none of it. "No, you didn't," she said simply.
"Vida, I must have. It's the most important thing in my life."
Again, she raised one eyebrow as she pursed her lips. "Let me tell you what I know about you. I know you're English, you like dogs better than cats, you drink coffee with two sugars and that is not because you told me, it's because you order the same thing every week. Your favourite colour is red or black, and you haven't told me that either, you just wear those colours all the time. You like rainy days, think aliens exist and think my ex-boyfriend is, what you call, a twat. That is everything I know about Matthew Bellamy. Pretty sad since we've sat here for four weeks and you know everything about my life."
Matthew bowed his head, her words cutting him even though she had only meant them playfully. "I know. I'm sorry I haven't really been forthcoming with you."
Her hand reached out to take his, squeezing it gently before she let go as he looked up to her eyes. "Hey, it's ok. I'm just glad to know you have interests and aren't some freak who lives vicariously off of me," she finished with a laugh.
Matthew laughed with her. "Nice use of 'vicariously.'"
She beamed. "Thank you, I remembered it from a lesson I had a few years ago in English class. Now, stop complementing me on my English and tell me everything about your music and this studio deal."
Matthew eagerly jumped into the conversation, excited to share this part of his life with who, he was beginning to understand, had been his first real friend in Spain. He had just been too holed up within himself to realize it. "So, Dominic called Ian and he liked my sound. He wants me to come play for him in person. It could be something, it could be nothing. But really, I owe Dominic so much," he finished with a sigh.
Vida nodded and then grinned. "I like the sound of this Dominic boy." Her smile became lewd and she wiggled her eyebrows, nodding in a filthy manner towards Matthew.
He blushed and sputtered on his coffee. He had never mentioned once that he was gay, and now she was staring at him like she wanted him to go throw himself at the man. Blinking repeatedly, he looked around the cafe before he leaned in and whispered, "H-how did you....how the hell did you know I was...you know." He finished with a suggestive nod of his head.
Vida cocked her head back and laughed, leaving Matthew to regard her in shock. "Honey, you are all sorts of sensitive and fabulous. Your clothes need a bit of work, but straight women can smell gay in a five mile radius. It's just a thing baby, don't worry about it. I won't tell anyone, and I haven't, I swear."
Her last words made Matthew choke in another breath. "Wait, how long have you known?" He was genuinely shocked by her statement.
"Oh, since I first met you. I thought your hands were, well, pretty, and the way you cross your legs is too elegant to be anything else. But I didn't really want to judge you, but your tight trousers and the way you always smell so good. I decided you were either fabulously...what's the word...metrosexual, I think that's the word in English...or just gay. Gay made more sense because you were too sweet to be anything else. It's ok, I don't mind honestly." She nodded genuinely, reaching out to hold Matt's hand once more and held it tight. "You can trust me," she said simply. Matthew felt immediately connected to her in that moment and began to kick himself for having kept anything from her from the start. If anyone could have pushed him to move on from Evan, it would have been her. But then again, there must have been a reason he found Dominic, he was starting to believe, and he was determined to hold onto that.
"Thank you," he said softly.
Vida pulled back and crossed her arms. "Now, how long are you going to be in England. Don't think you can just up and leave and never see me again."
"I don't know how long I'll be, but I promise I'll call," he said, nodding his head. He would, he assured himself, he owed as much to her. Quickly he was realizing she had been a better friend to him than he had thought.
"Good, I look forward to it. Now, tell me about this Dominic. I think it's him that got you all chatty, am I correct?" She leaned easily back into her chair, her smile knowing.
Matthew blushed and didn't answer, truly incapable of doing so because she had silenced him with her wisdom. He didn't even nod, there wasn't a reason to.
"Tell me what he's like. I want to know," she said softly.
"He's tall and blonde. Wealthy. Some kind of advertising executive, but I don't even know what that means, what he even does. His fiancee is wonderful, her name is Julia -" Vida cut Matthew off once more with her hand.
"Hold on, he's engaged?" she asked sternly.
"Yeah," Matthew said simply.
"Well that just ruins all my fantasies for you!" she exclaimed.
"Vida, you've known he's existed for all of three minutes! How could you begin fantasizing already?" he laughed.
Vida clucked her tongue and shook her head. "Doesn't mean I can't hope for you to be happy, does it? Now, I'm just sad."
"Why would you even think he was gay?" Matthew asked, now genuinely confused.
Vida shrugged. "Well, cause you like him and I had hoped he would return the feelings."
"I don't like him, don't say that," Matthew said quietly.
"Oh look at you, of course you do! And I'm not poking fun at you for it. I've never seen you like this before but it is something beautiful, I'll tell you," she said honestly.
Matthew hugged himself at her words, astonished that she had read him so well and embarrassed that he had been caught out so quickly in his emotions. He was sure it would only be Vida who would catch it so soon, positive that she was attuned to some part of the world that whispered secrets in her ear. "I don't know what to do, Vida," he whispered.
Her smile softened and she soothed him with her kind eyes. "Just be his friend, really. That's all you can do for now, that's all you should do. You heart has been broken, I know. If you don't want to tell me then I don't have to know. But I know you're vulnerable, and right now you don't need any romance, you just need friends. Take what he can give you right now, just get to know him. Your heart will let you know what to do when it's ready."
It was incredible how brilliant Vida was, how swiftly her wise words took affect at easing his rapidly beating heart. The rest of their afternoon lesson went extraordinarily well, conversation flowing on equal parts as Vida got let in on some details of Matthew's life. Assuring her that he would not be leaving for another two weeks, he promised that he would make their next meeting.
On his short walk home, his phone buzzed and he pulled it out to see who would have texted him. The contact list on his new mobile was abysmally small, and could count on one hand who would text him at all. All of them were students. He smiled when he saw it was Vida, making use of their new found friendship.
"You know I'm going to text you all the time now, right?" was what her text read. He laughed as he responded, telling her that it was fine and he would text just as much. Deep inside, though, he had wished it was Dominic was the one that texted him, and smiled as he imagined what the future of their friendship held.
Author: lalalive23
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Fluff and sadness, swearing
Summary: AU. Matt moved to Spain immediately after his lover left him to continue his work on the Spanish guitar. When Dom takes a holiday with his new fiancee, his world gets turned upside down and nothing is ever the same again.
Feedback: Is awesome. I like it. Keep it coming?
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse. If I did, they sure as hell would not be let out of the naughty closet. I don't make money off this. If I did, I would be a rich lady and not distracting myself from writing an undergrad thesis that is somehow much bigger than I.
Note: I send an arsenal of beautiful men to dolce_piccante , millionstar , and sunshine_173 for being bit readers, lovers, inspiration givers, NaNoWriMo cheerleaders and genuinely incredible friends. The Long Surrender soundtrack is coming soon. This story has been written to a very specific playlist I made last month before I started writing this. Also, I am on a roll with NaNo, the likes of which I haven't seen since I started doing it in 2007. I'm falling in love with this story, it's concept and it's future plot lines. Every comment I get on it makes me feel like it's my birthday, Christmas, and my boyfriend giving me a present all in one. I love all of my readers. I am convinced they are the best. Thank you for reading, commenting, and just being beautiful people. I love you all!
NaNo word count: 25,855
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5
The coming days proved to be difficult for Dominic, the lack of contact with Matthew entirely against every one of his body's wishes. He found himself feeling like a teenager, and with that feeling came all the emotions of a school boy crush. The magnetic attraction he felt lead him to check his mobile repeatedly, looking desperately for missed calls or texts from the brunet that set his heart to fluttering. Julia had noticed, as he was not completely discrete about the action, and had joked with him about it, asking if he had a hot date he was eager to attend. He wanted to laugh, truly, but he found no humour in the sentiment; the prospect of spending extended alone time with the burnet was overwhelmingly tempting. What bothered him most about his state of unrest was that his constant urge to check his mobile was disturbingly unfounded and uncalled for. There was absolutely no reason for Matthew to call him, but he absolutely wanted there to be.
Every particle of Dominic wanted to discuss everything and nothing with the musician. Subjects like his favourite books, favourite music, thoughts on politics, art and science; the weather, flowers, birds, whether trees had hearts. Every question Dominic could ask would be met with the most wonderful and inspiring responses from Matthew, he was sure, and everything Dominic knew of the world would surely change once he became privy to Matthew's personal opinions.
Dominic was no stranger to this sensation, having experienced it before when he became involved with Julia. When she spoke, he felt as though new colours were forming in the dull spectrum of his world, objects taking new shapes and his mundane reality became an exquisitely enriched space within which for him to exist. And it was exactly this reason that he was frightened of himself, worrying that this connection with Matthew was on account to the newness of their blossoming relationship. He would refuse his body the urge to explore the affinity to the lengths it longed for, his responsibility and love for Julia sorely outweighing the other. But, it was exactly the exploration of the relationship at all the feared him. For if he did, explore the relationship at all, that is, he was sure his will to resist his attraction would evaporate at the same speed of the disintegration of the intimate force binding him to Julia.
More than he yearned to speak to Matthew, the root of his desire was laced in the pleasure he received when he so easily slipped into the foreign language that seemed to surround him at the present. If Matthew would oblige him in his wishes, Dom was sure he could listen to the man speak it four hours, all day - he would get off on it at night while the two were on the phone, the voice heavy and panting into his ear with an accent as they came together.
This was desire was, of course, the most present in his mind because the language was the most present part of his day. The activities he entertained with Julia meant that she was in control of the communication with those around them. Of course she used her language skills to the maximum capacity and, whenever she did, Dominic found himself becoming progressively more annoyed with the way her mouth perfectly formed the words. There was, for all tenses and purposes, no difference between the way either she or Matthew spoke the language, their skill and accent, truthfully, exactly the same. At some other point, perhaps at some other place in his timeline, Dominic would have found it in him to agree or accept this fact. But the difference in his world, at that exact moment, was most definitely tangible.
When he had first noticed it, he had listened closely to the little conversations Julia held with waiters and various strangers, hoping her words would incite the same zestful eroticism Matthew's had. It never came. And now, as they walked from street to street enjoying the scenery, engaging in a scope of tourism Dominic hadn't enjoyed since his late teens, he found himself wishing she would quit the language altogether.
"Baby, you ok?" Julia's voice brought him back to reality, her concerned eyes making him hate himself for thinking a single negative thing about her.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied softly. To prove his point, he leant down to kiss her, and he felt her smile against the contact. "Where are we now?" he asked as they broke apart.
Tossing her hair behind her shoulder, she pulled out a map from her bag. Unfolding it carefully, she searched around briefly before pointing to a spot on the outskirts of Madrid's center. "Here, by Plaza de Colon. The National Archeology Museum should be around here somewhere. I think it's down this street here and then to the right." She pointed ahead and shook her finger around in a nonchalant wave.
Dom cringed. "Are we really going there?" he asked slowly.
"Well," Julia began with a blush, "I was hoping we would. It was one of the places I never got to see when I was last here." She sounded hopeful, her eyes getting wide in hopes to persuade him and he did his best not to give in.
Museums were never his thing, only really interested in them if they were filled with art. Historical museums bored him to death, the locations and peoples they listed so far removed from his lifetime he felt they were almost abstract. It was not that he was uneducated or ignorant, he merely could not find it within himself to care.
But while his mind had been absorbed completely with Matthew's face, his heart was not so removed to refuse her every wish, the love he felt for her still residentially grounded within its core. And so, he nodded, laughing heartily as Julia threw her arms around him in thanks.
"Yay! Baby you will love it. After, we can go to the park right around the corner, I promise." She kissed his cheek and wiggled her eyebrows. "You'll get a treat later, don't worry." One of her hands snaked between them to palm and squeeze his cock, tugging a yelp from his chest. She walked away laughing, leaving him to follow behind as he blushed.
With her back to him, he checked his mobile once more only to have his screen appear before him in the same fashion it had just minutes before. He decided, then, he would play a game with himself in the museum, and perhaps at various other times during their stay in Madrid. He would only check his phone in thirty minute increments, forcing himself to focus on other things and not on Matthew - to focus on Julia, not Matthew.
Maybe, just maybe, he would make it past the thirty minute mark and eventually forget to look altogether.
He did not see how it would be possible, but he was determined to try.
~*~
Sitting calmly at a small table in a cafe not far from his flat, Matthew sipped his coffee with pleasure as he waited for his to arrive for their lesson. Vida Colon was his favourite student, her fluency in English advanced beyond necessity for a tutor, thus allowing for more extravagant conversations. She feared that she would forget the language if she did not find someone to practice with and had called Matthew in search of friendly chats to keep herself up to snuff.
At the time of their first lesson, he had found himself apprehensive of the depth of the conversation, the gravity of his situation not entirely something he was eager to discuss with a stranger. Vida was a keen observer, her ability to read Matthew and his emotions almost something akin to that of a psychic. Instantly, she had known that he was suffering a serious heartache, though she was unsure of the cause and did not press him for information. He could not deny the girl details for long, it being only fair as she willingly divulged things that could be considered confidential anecdotes in favor for advancement in their discussion topics.
It was silly of him to hold back the things he wanted to share, but Vida's life was a colourful one. Filled with boys, girlfriends, and travel, it would mark a drastic tonal shift in conversation if he confessed the despairing details of his life. He did not want to be pitied, nor was he seeking advice, and so their chats had been oddly one sided; Vida sharing stories of her weekend while Matthew asked questions to keep her talking.
Now that he met Dominic, he found himself predisposed to open up, the new friendship proving to unlock parts of him that he had pushed away out of necessity, or ignored in a vain attempt to mope under the guise of healing. What Dominic had done for him in just a few days time had proven to be exactly the sort of thing he needed to push himself away from the isolation he had imposed upon himself, seeking to reach out to the other minor connections in his life and begin to start anew. More than anyone else, it was Vida he was eager to surprise with his new found vocal skills. Though he would not discuss, in any shape or form, his break up with Evan, the improvement on his part would be staggering and he was sure she would appreciate it. The small step forward was a triumph and he was not ashamed for it, because it meant that he was making moves to fix what was wrong in his life, and baby steps were the only way to start.
Vida entered the cafe on time, as she usually was, spotting Matthew with a wave as she walked to the table he had selected.
"You look happy," she said as she came to sit, dropping her bag at the side of her chair. Her thick accent did not mar the clarity of her words. Folding her hands on the table, she leaned forward and grinned. "So, what's happened?"
Matthew allowed a light chuckle to escape him as he looked away from her stare, focusing on his hands as they pushed the cup away from him. "Am I really that obvious?" he asked.
Vida paused, Matthew raising his eyes to hers once more after she did not reply. She cocked a sly eyebrow at him as she began to speak. "Matt, everything about your body language screams that there has been a change in your mood. You really can't hide from me at all."
He laughed, then, heartily and loud, shocking even himself with its high pitch. Briefly he reflected on how much he loved that she called him Matt, so few people in Spain seeming to do so. He stopped himself immediately, as he caught himself wishing that Dominic would come up with a nickname for him. "Well, I do have a bit of news. I have an audition in London in two weeks with a studio manager. He wants to help me record a demo." He finished his sentence and beamed at her.
Vida stared at him blankly and his smile fell. He would have thought she would be excited for him, and now it appeared she had hardly understood him at all. Opening his mouth to speak, he found himself silenced as she raised the palm of her hand. "Hold on. I am trying to process everything you just said."
"I don't understand," Matthew said confused. "You should have understood me perfectly well."
"Oh no," she said slowly. "I understand your English perfectly well. It's the fact that I didn't even know you played an instrument that's getting to me. And now you're telling me you are seeing studio managers and going back to London. I need a minute. You can't just spring all that on me at once." She had started smiling as she said her words, letting Matthew in on the fact that she was merely surprised that he had given her information about his private life. She was, as he had expected she would do, messing with him. But it concerned him that she didn't know he was musically inclined, positive that he had told her before.
"I'm absolutely positive that I told you I play music," he said, his tone urging her to think back and try to remember.
Her face said she would have none of it. "No, you didn't," she said simply.
"Vida, I must have. It's the most important thing in my life."
Again, she raised one eyebrow as she pursed her lips. "Let me tell you what I know about you. I know you're English, you like dogs better than cats, you drink coffee with two sugars and that is not because you told me, it's because you order the same thing every week. Your favourite colour is red or black, and you haven't told me that either, you just wear those colours all the time. You like rainy days, think aliens exist and think my ex-boyfriend is, what you call, a twat. That is everything I know about Matthew Bellamy. Pretty sad since we've sat here for four weeks and you know everything about my life."
Matthew bowed his head, her words cutting him even though she had only meant them playfully. "I know. I'm sorry I haven't really been forthcoming with you."
Her hand reached out to take his, squeezing it gently before she let go as he looked up to her eyes. "Hey, it's ok. I'm just glad to know you have interests and aren't some freak who lives vicariously off of me," she finished with a laugh.
Matthew laughed with her. "Nice use of 'vicariously.'"
She beamed. "Thank you, I remembered it from a lesson I had a few years ago in English class. Now, stop complementing me on my English and tell me everything about your music and this studio deal."
Matthew eagerly jumped into the conversation, excited to share this part of his life with who, he was beginning to understand, had been his first real friend in Spain. He had just been too holed up within himself to realize it. "So, Dominic called Ian and he liked my sound. He wants me to come play for him in person. It could be something, it could be nothing. But really, I owe Dominic so much," he finished with a sigh.
Vida nodded and then grinned. "I like the sound of this Dominic boy." Her smile became lewd and she wiggled her eyebrows, nodding in a filthy manner towards Matthew.
He blushed and sputtered on his coffee. He had never mentioned once that he was gay, and now she was staring at him like she wanted him to go throw himself at the man. Blinking repeatedly, he looked around the cafe before he leaned in and whispered, "H-how did you....how the hell did you know I was...you know." He finished with a suggestive nod of his head.
Vida cocked her head back and laughed, leaving Matthew to regard her in shock. "Honey, you are all sorts of sensitive and fabulous. Your clothes need a bit of work, but straight women can smell gay in a five mile radius. It's just a thing baby, don't worry about it. I won't tell anyone, and I haven't, I swear."
Her last words made Matthew choke in another breath. "Wait, how long have you known?" He was genuinely shocked by her statement.
"Oh, since I first met you. I thought your hands were, well, pretty, and the way you cross your legs is too elegant to be anything else. But I didn't really want to judge you, but your tight trousers and the way you always smell so good. I decided you were either fabulously...what's the word...metrosexual, I think that's the word in English...or just gay. Gay made more sense because you were too sweet to be anything else. It's ok, I don't mind honestly." She nodded genuinely, reaching out to hold Matt's hand once more and held it tight. "You can trust me," she said simply. Matthew felt immediately connected to her in that moment and began to kick himself for having kept anything from her from the start. If anyone could have pushed him to move on from Evan, it would have been her. But then again, there must have been a reason he found Dominic, he was starting to believe, and he was determined to hold onto that.
"Thank you," he said softly.
Vida pulled back and crossed her arms. "Now, how long are you going to be in England. Don't think you can just up and leave and never see me again."
"I don't know how long I'll be, but I promise I'll call," he said, nodding his head. He would, he assured himself, he owed as much to her. Quickly he was realizing she had been a better friend to him than he had thought.
"Good, I look forward to it. Now, tell me about this Dominic. I think it's him that got you all chatty, am I correct?" She leaned easily back into her chair, her smile knowing.
Matthew blushed and didn't answer, truly incapable of doing so because she had silenced him with her wisdom. He didn't even nod, there wasn't a reason to.
"Tell me what he's like. I want to know," she said softly.
"He's tall and blonde. Wealthy. Some kind of advertising executive, but I don't even know what that means, what he even does. His fiancee is wonderful, her name is Julia -" Vida cut Matthew off once more with her hand.
"Hold on, he's engaged?" she asked sternly.
"Yeah," Matthew said simply.
"Well that just ruins all my fantasies for you!" she exclaimed.
"Vida, you've known he's existed for all of three minutes! How could you begin fantasizing already?" he laughed.
Vida clucked her tongue and shook her head. "Doesn't mean I can't hope for you to be happy, does it? Now, I'm just sad."
"Why would you even think he was gay?" Matthew asked, now genuinely confused.
Vida shrugged. "Well, cause you like him and I had hoped he would return the feelings."
"I don't like him, don't say that," Matthew said quietly.
"Oh look at you, of course you do! And I'm not poking fun at you for it. I've never seen you like this before but it is something beautiful, I'll tell you," she said honestly.
Matthew hugged himself at her words, astonished that she had read him so well and embarrassed that he had been caught out so quickly in his emotions. He was sure it would only be Vida who would catch it so soon, positive that she was attuned to some part of the world that whispered secrets in her ear. "I don't know what to do, Vida," he whispered.
Her smile softened and she soothed him with her kind eyes. "Just be his friend, really. That's all you can do for now, that's all you should do. You heart has been broken, I know. If you don't want to tell me then I don't have to know. But I know you're vulnerable, and right now you don't need any romance, you just need friends. Take what he can give you right now, just get to know him. Your heart will let you know what to do when it's ready."
It was incredible how brilliant Vida was, how swiftly her wise words took affect at easing his rapidly beating heart. The rest of their afternoon lesson went extraordinarily well, conversation flowing on equal parts as Vida got let in on some details of Matthew's life. Assuring her that he would not be leaving for another two weeks, he promised that he would make their next meeting.
On his short walk home, his phone buzzed and he pulled it out to see who would have texted him. The contact list on his new mobile was abysmally small, and could count on one hand who would text him at all. All of them were students. He smiled when he saw it was Vida, making use of their new found friendship.
"You know I'm going to text you all the time now, right?" was what her text read. He laughed as he responded, telling her that it was fine and he would text just as much. Deep inside, though, he had wished it was Dominic was the one that texted him, and smiled as he imagined what the future of their friendship held.