Welcome home....
I feel so out of place in my own life. Maybe it has something to do with my first shower being at my grandpas house and not mine, or not being able to even drink a glass of water from the faucet, but i don't feel like i'm completely home. I also feel very disconnected from my friends, like i changed a lot, but i really didn't. I think i learned a lot about myself though. Like how I really am a bitch a lot of the time, especially if i don't like you, but a lot of times i don't even give people a chance. Its weird because i think at one point i was a very sweet girl, but then i started being taken advantage of. And not by strangers. My friends and even family would walk all over me, so ya i learned to stick up for myself, and i do it for others too.
this is my ramblings because im unhappy the summer is ending, and i wasn't home a lot, and ya. I dunno. tonight i hung out with matt which was a lot of fun. I missed really hanging out with him, we haven't done that in the longest time. I wish Cait was home, shes on a swim retreat with clio who i haven't seen ALL summer. Its long overdue. I feel like i need to talk to and make plans with the world, but all i really want to do is sleep. Its an odd sensation. I wish i had found a boy at camp. I need someone who isn't at my school, because i get so annoyed with boys so easily. Maybe boys in general are just annoying, and thats why hookups should be the only way to go. Relationships complicate everything, and in the end, people just get hurt. I don't know a single couple that made it through the summer besides Kari and Alex, but they are so perfect for each other and with each other, and don't have annoying expectations for each other like other couples i have known.
So thats all for now, im sorry its all so depressing, i need to get more sunlight. Perhaps ill do that tomorrow. I need to make money...maybe ill cash some of my pay check. that would be helpful.
Goodnight
this is my ramblings because im unhappy the summer is ending, and i wasn't home a lot, and ya. I dunno. tonight i hung out with matt which was a lot of fun. I missed really hanging out with him, we haven't done that in the longest time. I wish Cait was home, shes on a swim retreat with clio who i haven't seen ALL summer. Its long overdue. I feel like i need to talk to and make plans with the world, but all i really want to do is sleep. Its an odd sensation. I wish i had found a boy at camp. I need someone who isn't at my school, because i get so annoyed with boys so easily. Maybe boys in general are just annoying, and thats why hookups should be the only way to go. Relationships complicate everything, and in the end, people just get hurt. I don't know a single couple that made it through the summer besides Kari and Alex, but they are so perfect for each other and with each other, and don't have annoying expectations for each other like other couples i have known.
So thats all for now, im sorry its all so depressing, i need to get more sunlight. Perhaps ill do that tomorrow. I need to make money...maybe ill cash some of my pay check. that would be helpful.
Goodnight