-you love me but dont accept.. thats not love.
-last night was really great. i spent all day with my aunt. we went to value village and all these other shops and just had fun. she paid me for babysitting, i saved $50 for my bronco and spent some on clothes. i bought the most adorable shoes ive seen my entire life. i bought two pairs, light pink and lime green. i bought a sweatshirt and some shirts for my mama. i was in a great mood. i was happy and laughing and it felt really amazing. i love hanging out with my aunt.
-later that night sean came over and we didnt really do anything so that kinda ruined my fun. but oh well. ya know, lately hes becoming too much for me. some of the things he says will just tear me apart. i dont know if im just noticing them more now or if hes just doing this out of no where. for example, ill be listening to daphny loves derby and he'll tell me i need to get over the stupid boy bands, and he gets super jealous. he doesnt accept anything i do now. it really hurts. im starting to think.. would i be better without?
-today im going up to merrys house to spend the week at her house. i need my own time right now. hopefully kyle can come up to see me every now and then.
-kyle welch, hes such a great friend. we've been friends since middle school and hes the only guy who still talks to me from the high school. haha. lame but oh well. anywho, we've been hanging out the passed couple nights. its cool having a friend there, other than the beautiful kandice.
-im just really down right now. i feel like im in such a deep hole. i dont do much anymore. i havent been to a show in months, ive fallen out of music completely. i really hate it. i absolutely love music. if i could, id start my own band right now just so i could have that music around me. or id kidnap this providence (hehe, just jokes) something so i can just be around it.
-when sean and i first started dating, he loved the fact that i was my own person. that i would go to all the shows and rock out and just have fun. im not that person anymore.. whenever i begin to have fun he says im being immature about it. but before, he said he loved my spirit and heart. theres not much left in there. i dont know how it doesnt bother him. cause its burning me inside.
-im gonna go pack for merrys. take care everyone.
love,
amanda joann
-later that night sean came over and we didnt really do anything so that kinda ruined my fun. but oh well. ya know, lately hes becoming too much for me. some of the things he says will just tear me apart. i dont know if im just noticing them more now or if hes just doing this out of no where. for example, ill be listening to daphny loves derby and he'll tell me i need to get over the stupid boy bands, and he gets super jealous. he doesnt accept anything i do now. it really hurts. im starting to think.. would i be better without?
-today im going up to merrys house to spend the week at her house. i need my own time right now. hopefully kyle can come up to see me every now and then.
-kyle welch, hes such a great friend. we've been friends since middle school and hes the only guy who still talks to me from the high school. haha. lame but oh well. anywho, we've been hanging out the passed couple nights. its cool having a friend there, other than the beautiful kandice.
-im just really down right now. i feel like im in such a deep hole. i dont do much anymore. i havent been to a show in months, ive fallen out of music completely. i really hate it. i absolutely love music. if i could, id start my own band right now just so i could have that music around me. or id kidnap this providence (hehe, just jokes) something so i can just be around it.
-when sean and i first started dating, he loved the fact that i was my own person. that i would go to all the shows and rock out and just have fun. im not that person anymore.. whenever i begin to have fun he says im being immature about it. but before, he said he loved my spirit and heart. theres not much left in there. i dont know how it doesnt bother him. cause its burning me inside.
-im gonna go pack for merrys. take care everyone.
love,
amanda joann