picture of dorian gray
So I went out to the gay club, that was a mistake. I was a little drunk off some wine and had drank a sparks before I went but I quickly sobered up much to my dismay. Everytime I go I quickly realize why I don't go, alcohol is usually what it takes to avoid this feeling. I felt a little discouraged when I ran into man who I have been crushing on over the past year. He is considerably older but it's really a non-issue (he looks considerably younger) and he's pretty smart. He had been in a relationship when I met him and recently I learned he's been single for about two months. But tonight he had a boy in tow. I was slightly upset but I went over to say hello anyways. This boy, older than me, was certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed or nearly all that goodlooking. But he was young and he was cute and that must have been enough for my crush. In retrospect I realize that the boy was being herded around, almost like a trophy. This is something common with older gay men. They court young boys and then show them off as prizes, a way to tout their vitality and artificial youth "Look, I can still tap that 20 year old ass, look!". I thought this man was above this. His boy was fairly stupid and although his skin is soft and his mind impressionable, I was hoping said man wanted something more, something that could hold a decent conversation.
He asked how I was and I told him I was tired, I told him I had been up until 4 working on a paper for my textile history seminar. I had sunk to his level of desperation "look, I'm smart AND young, look, I have interests!". I don't know if my display of studious activities will bait him. If it does than maybe I'll just become his new trophy. I'm not sure I would be dissapointed with that. If it doesn't then I'll blame it on his inability to appreciate a good thang when he sees it. I'm going to ask if he would like to go to the wexner center exhibit opening. Now I mean it when I say I am not an elitist, but if a man cannot appreciate or at least entetain the idea of viewing contemporary art... well, there you go. Maybe this is just a way to make myself feel better when I face rejection and maybe that's fine.
He asked how I was and I told him I was tired, I told him I had been up until 4 working on a paper for my textile history seminar. I had sunk to his level of desperation "look, I'm smart AND young, look, I have interests!". I don't know if my display of studious activities will bait him. If it does than maybe I'll just become his new trophy. I'm not sure I would be dissapointed with that. If it doesn't then I'll blame it on his inability to appreciate a good thang when he sees it. I'm going to ask if he would like to go to the wexner center exhibit opening. Now I mean it when I say I am not an elitist, but if a man cannot appreciate or at least entetain the idea of viewing contemporary art... well, there you go. Maybe this is just a way to make myself feel better when I face rejection and maybe that's fine.