(no subject)
I'm posting this here and also on my myspace blog, even though i don't blog there. but, i think it's important.
so here goes:
i feel like i'm possibly going through a change. i've been feeling a little more "normal" lately. not so sad or depressed like i've felt for a while. maybe it's just another hill on my roller coaster, but it doesn't feel like that, either.
i can't really explain it, i suppose.
i've stopped (mostly) thinking about relationships...about finding someone to be with. the people i wanted - or thought i wanted...i don't know - have made it clear that i'm not important to them. in a romantic sense, that is. and i've finally gotten that through my thick skull.
and so, i'm moving on now. i've got a renewed drive to finish school. to get away from driving buses. to do something more with myself. i'm not trying to make a point or amount to something. i just would like to find a better way to spend my time...especially my work time.
i also have a renewed drive to exercise. i do not, however, want to join a gym again. or, possibly i should join one during the winter months, but not an expensive one like Lifetime or an icky one like Bally's. Maybe I'll check out Anytime Fitness or Snap Fitness. That's all i really need, anyway. And otherwise, i would like to buy a bike. A bicycle. I want to explore all the trails around here and see how far i can ride. And maybe find an alternative to driving to work or other places in the process. I feel really fired up about this though...in a quieter way, which is different from past attempts at this. This is the only place i've voiced these things recently, and it's probably going to remain the only place.
So, that is my world, currently. It's not so bad after all.
so here goes:
i feel like i'm possibly going through a change. i've been feeling a little more "normal" lately. not so sad or depressed like i've felt for a while. maybe it's just another hill on my roller coaster, but it doesn't feel like that, either.
i can't really explain it, i suppose.
i've stopped (mostly) thinking about relationships...about finding someone to be with. the people i wanted - or thought i wanted...i don't know - have made it clear that i'm not important to them. in a romantic sense, that is. and i've finally gotten that through my thick skull.
and so, i'm moving on now. i've got a renewed drive to finish school. to get away from driving buses. to do something more with myself. i'm not trying to make a point or amount to something. i just would like to find a better way to spend my time...especially my work time.
i also have a renewed drive to exercise. i do not, however, want to join a gym again. or, possibly i should join one during the winter months, but not an expensive one like Lifetime or an icky one like Bally's. Maybe I'll check out Anytime Fitness or Snap Fitness. That's all i really need, anyway. And otherwise, i would like to buy a bike. A bicycle. I want to explore all the trails around here and see how far i can ride. And maybe find an alternative to driving to work or other places in the process. I feel really fired up about this though...in a quieter way, which is different from past attempts at this. This is the only place i've voiced these things recently, and it's probably going to remain the only place.
So, that is my world, currently. It's not so bad after all.