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May 07, 2007 18:18

I thought I would copy everyone and show my reflection also....

I was so inspired by my first two pages on Friday that I wrote more over the weekend. I am learning so much through this process-I think I have a new goal to write at least once every day. My idea came from this when I read an interview with Nell Fruedenberger and when asked about advice for young authors, she said: “Write every day.” For me, it doesn’t have to be a page-it can be just a couple of words. But of course I found that I never just wrote a couple of words; I wrote more like a page each time.
What amazes me is that so much cool stuff has come from my mind into words each time, and there is at least one passage, idea or thought that I want to save from each time I sat down and wrote something. No session was wasted, and so it actually pains me to think of all the time I’ve wasted by not writing something.
At first the exercise of having an image and/or a scene in my head and describing it set the scene for what I wrote. I now have three to five random passages describing some scene and/or place (all related to one character, to be used in one story), and re-reading them, I am not even sure what order they are supposed to be in.
One really interesting thing is how my character develops while I write. I learn more about Susan and her mother as I describe scenes and places, and when the weekend was over, both of them changed drastically from what I originally intended. Susan in the beginning controlled the relationship, and was stubborn and rebellious. Her mother was the one who coddled her with attention. But now Susan is more meek and dominated by her mother, who is emotionally unstable and hardly pays any attention to Susan. Mayhe this is a more depressing relationship, but to me seems more realistic. Coming across as real in my writing is important to me.
I also noticed that at the beginning I imitated the voice and tone of other authors. But already, after only a couple of pages, I find myself developing my own, natural voice. My voice surprised me. It is somewhat cynical and even sinister and foreboding. It reminds me of Shirley Jackson. I’m not so sure that I like it. Again, it is depressing, and I would like to see some more hope in it. Maybe I can mold it into a more hopeful tone while still being true to my own voice.
Another thing that might of caused this sudden change in the dynamic of Susan and her mother is my own life. This weekend in particular was very hard in terms of personal events, and so that might have directly influenced Susan and her mother having a more negative relationship. What I fear happening is that depending on my personal experiences that the characters keep on changing, and that they will keep on changing from one personality to another depending on uncontrolled variables. And I don’t feel that it is fair to the characters.
I feel like God when I write about characters-I created them spontaneously one day and now they are going about in the world doing their own things. And, perched above this world, I feel like if I make a small mistake, like a cough or make a tear, I will send about an earthquake or induce a flood and wipe out the characters which had making their own living. A weird but strikingly true analogy.
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