Rite of Passage
I know something really big happened today, but I dont know how its going to affect me later on in life. Right now I feel mostly scared and bewildered. What is going to happen to our team? Are we ever going to be the same? Probably not, and thats why Im scared.
I also feel a really heavy blueness, becuase I just lost someone I really love and respect. I know she didnt die, but I feel like she did becuase I will never see her at crew practice again, and she was our rock, our center, the person we all looked up to.
I really never saw this coming. Ever. Esp. at the reason why she left--I always saw her as this sane, level headed, amazing person and then I find out that she actually had an ED is so shocking. I dont think I will ever fully recover from this--and it also casts doubts on whether I want to row in college. I mean, if she couldnt handle the pressure of being lightweight, how in the world can I? Also, am I being sucked in AGAIN, by being in contact with the coaches?
I had a major case of deja vu while Molly was pulling her 6k...I had a feeling that I will never do better again and that it was all downhill from here, and that I will never do crew again
oh god what an emoooo day
I also feel a really heavy blueness, becuase I just lost someone I really love and respect. I know she didnt die, but I feel like she did becuase I will never see her at crew practice again, and she was our rock, our center, the person we all looked up to.
I really never saw this coming. Ever. Esp. at the reason why she left--I always saw her as this sane, level headed, amazing person and then I find out that she actually had an ED is so shocking. I dont think I will ever fully recover from this--and it also casts doubts on whether I want to row in college. I mean, if she couldnt handle the pressure of being lightweight, how in the world can I? Also, am I being sucked in AGAIN, by being in contact with the coaches?
I had a major case of deja vu while Molly was pulling her 6k...I had a feeling that I will never do better again and that it was all downhill from here, and that I will never do crew again
oh god what an emoooo day