Warning: Whining below
I am seriously so tired of feeling inadequate. It seems as if no matter what happens, no matter where I am or what I am doing, it always comes back to this. I second guess every thing I do, I am insecure and afraid, and I will never EVER feel like I measure up. Nothing major even happened today. I went into Judy's office...and she wasn't there. She's in Chicago because her dad is very sick. He may not make it, and I feel so bad for her. Kris (her assisstant) wasn't there either. I had no idea what to do with myself, but I did a few things. But the whole time, I just felt stupid. I always worry that people are mad at me, that I did something wrong...
I wish I knew WHY! More importantly, I wish I knew how to make it stop. I simply have no idea how to deal with it, and the thought of it continuing for the rest of my life seems unbearable.
I feel so ungrateful and petty. I have a good life, and people around me (including Judy) are hurting and dealing with REAL things. I am miserable...and there really isn't any reason for it other then...chemistry? history??
Who knows.
I just want it to stop....
and I need to stop complaining. So I will.
I wish I knew WHY! More importantly, I wish I knew how to make it stop. I simply have no idea how to deal with it, and the thought of it continuing for the rest of my life seems unbearable.
I feel so ungrateful and petty. I have a good life, and people around me (including Judy) are hurting and dealing with REAL things. I am miserable...and there really isn't any reason for it other then...chemistry? history??
Who knows.
I just want it to stop....
and I need to stop complaining. So I will.