if I had no homework ...
See, this weekend is Anime Boston, and I didn't really want to go until I was going to school and the WHOLE TRAIN was filled with people going to Anime Boston and they were all dressed up and ready to have a nerdy convention weekend, and I had to go to school.
But THEN one of my parent's friends had opera tickets that they couldn't use, and I can't go to that either.
I have to work on my presentation and do homework. I want to have fun. Boston is filled to the brim with fun things to do ... and I am stuck.
However, I don't want to feel the stress of not having done my work. I hate the way I feel when I procrastinate -- like right now. Plus, my professor said that although rules and requirements may not be fair or reasonable, you must do them in order to reach your goal, and that it doesn't help to complain about it. In fact, it takes away time from pursuing your goal.
I really want to experience going home and having free time (well, hopefully it will be going out). But when I look at people who chose to work instead of going to graduate school (or maybe they didn't choose, maybe they wanted to but didn't have the money or talent or whatever), while they may have more free time and money than me, the certainly don't have as much free time as I think us grad school people are imagining them too -- the truth of the matter is most people I know work very long hours anyways. However, by going to grad school I will work less hours and make more money, plus have a nicer job in general, plus I'll have prestige or whatever ( I guess I really don't care about the prestige or whatever). I guess it will be also plus extra loans but hopefully health corps will add audiologists. Or I could work in the middle of nowhere for a couple of years and pay it down.
Plus, if I go and clean up my room and then do work right now, I will feel less stressed, competent, and be able to sleep better. I guess I still feel a little lonely -- originally the plan was to try and do something with friends. Or something fun unrelated to meetup (I just wanted to re-assert that I can have fun outside of it I guess). However, this is what I have to do in order to reach my goals, so I shouldn't complain about it anymore than I have here.
I've been thinking about quitting my job, because I was feeling so stressed. I just don't want to give it up, because it is a part of me that is not a grad student, plus I get paid. I don't want to become only a grad student. Maybe I have to sacrifice it as well? I'm not sure that my school-based job will continue, even though it pays a LOT more. However, because it is with school it goes into the *grad student* category. Hopefully I will not have to sacrifice either of my jobs, especially since I think the school-based job will be gone by the summer. However I should prepare myself to have to sacrifice one or both of those jobs.
So the lesson of undergrad was not to sacrifice everything. However, if I sacrifice this weekend I will have some time next weekend. And I don't want a rush of studying and writing to have to happen at the same time ( I have two papers that are going to be due along with finals, although it is some time off). So sacrificing right now is a rational decision.
Well, sorry to regale you all with that, but I guess I just had to vent.
As for getting rid of free without ads, I'm not too too concerned, although at the end of the semester or when I have some free time I think I will back this journal up. I don't think I'd move to another blogging service though. I've been here for too long, there are people here (although people, for the most part, don't really post all that much anymore), plus I don't have any gaurentees that another service will be better. Also, it might be snooty of me but here I have early adapter status and I don't want to give that little line up.
If you guys are worried about ads, then edit your hosts file. It was so easy and now I don't really see ads anymore. When I do I just type in the new ad server and then I don't see it anymore. Although lately I've been doing pretty well on not farting around on the internet (the new rule is that if I have to fart around on the internet I should do it in Japanese and at least pick up some vocab words). On the other hand, I just find new ways to procrastinate, such as reading a book that is fun, playing the flute, etc etc. Of course although I love the internet these things are really fun too.
Okay, here's the plan. If I can finish that presentation this weekend (and there is some last minute time avalible on Tuesday, so I'm not totally screwed if I can't finish) then I can try and find a pal to play some music with. If not, not.
The End.
But THEN one of my parent's friends had opera tickets that they couldn't use, and I can't go to that either.
I have to work on my presentation and do homework. I want to have fun. Boston is filled to the brim with fun things to do ... and I am stuck.
However, I don't want to feel the stress of not having done my work. I hate the way I feel when I procrastinate -- like right now. Plus, my professor said that although rules and requirements may not be fair or reasonable, you must do them in order to reach your goal, and that it doesn't help to complain about it. In fact, it takes away time from pursuing your goal.
I really want to experience going home and having free time (well, hopefully it will be going out). But when I look at people who chose to work instead of going to graduate school (or maybe they didn't choose, maybe they wanted to but didn't have the money or talent or whatever), while they may have more free time and money than me, the certainly don't have as much free time as I think us grad school people are imagining them too -- the truth of the matter is most people I know work very long hours anyways. However, by going to grad school I will work less hours and make more money, plus have a nicer job in general, plus I'll have prestige or whatever ( I guess I really don't care about the prestige or whatever). I guess it will be also plus extra loans but hopefully health corps will add audiologists. Or I could work in the middle of nowhere for a couple of years and pay it down.
Plus, if I go and clean up my room and then do work right now, I will feel less stressed, competent, and be able to sleep better. I guess I still feel a little lonely -- originally the plan was to try and do something with friends. Or something fun unrelated to meetup (I just wanted to re-assert that I can have fun outside of it I guess). However, this is what I have to do in order to reach my goals, so I shouldn't complain about it anymore than I have here.
I've been thinking about quitting my job, because I was feeling so stressed. I just don't want to give it up, because it is a part of me that is not a grad student, plus I get paid. I don't want to become only a grad student. Maybe I have to sacrifice it as well? I'm not sure that my school-based job will continue, even though it pays a LOT more. However, because it is with school it goes into the *grad student* category. Hopefully I will not have to sacrifice either of my jobs, especially since I think the school-based job will be gone by the summer. However I should prepare myself to have to sacrifice one or both of those jobs.
So the lesson of undergrad was not to sacrifice everything. However, if I sacrifice this weekend I will have some time next weekend. And I don't want a rush of studying and writing to have to happen at the same time ( I have two papers that are going to be due along with finals, although it is some time off). So sacrificing right now is a rational decision.
Well, sorry to regale you all with that, but I guess I just had to vent.
As for getting rid of free without ads, I'm not too too concerned, although at the end of the semester or when I have some free time I think I will back this journal up. I don't think I'd move to another blogging service though. I've been here for too long, there are people here (although people, for the most part, don't really post all that much anymore), plus I don't have any gaurentees that another service will be better. Also, it might be snooty of me but here I have early adapter status and I don't want to give that little line up.
If you guys are worried about ads, then edit your hosts file. It was so easy and now I don't really see ads anymore. When I do I just type in the new ad server and then I don't see it anymore. Although lately I've been doing pretty well on not farting around on the internet (the new rule is that if I have to fart around on the internet I should do it in Japanese and at least pick up some vocab words). On the other hand, I just find new ways to procrastinate, such as reading a book that is fun, playing the flute, etc etc. Of course although I love the internet these things are really fun too.
Okay, here's the plan. If I can finish that presentation this weekend (and there is some last minute time avalible on Tuesday, so I'm not totally screwed if I can't finish) then I can try and find a pal to play some music with. If not, not.
The End.