IN THE OCEAN.
. disappear into dry grass, into tangling clouds caught on mountainside trees. what do i want, do i want? i want nothing except a strong heart. heart beating in the dark early morning, dark shadows, every sound so loud, all things shadows and cold and full of luminous secrets. my hands did not shake, no moon or maybe. and it was still not enough for that black endless well in me. there is no catharsis.
. i wish i did not have to miss things all of the time. everytime i leave it is harder, it is sadder and worse. i don't want to be leaving anymore. i wish i did not feel this love so strong that ---
. i am alone and always alone and i will never not be alone until i know i am alone, until the black well sings it low, "you are alone, you are alone," until the grayest cloud hums it in my inconstant heart, until i hear it and am not afraid. everything echoes. i have learned this all before.
and i have to be
my own little lantern.
sinking into earth into blackness with no thought. bitter leaves cold shaking. i don't want to say.
. i wish i did not have to miss things all of the time. everytime i leave it is harder, it is sadder and worse. i don't want to be leaving anymore. i wish i did not feel this love so strong that ---
. i am alone and always alone and i will never not be alone until i know i am alone, until the black well sings it low, "you are alone, you are alone," until the grayest cloud hums it in my inconstant heart, until i hear it and am not afraid. everything echoes. i have learned this all before.
and i have to be
my own little lantern.
sinking into earth into blackness with no thought. bitter leaves cold shaking. i don't want to say.