(no subject)
Today, I am just emotionally exhausted from it all and depressed. Replaying everything that has been said to me over the past few months, the different advice. "Don't look", "It's too soon for you", then there was the "you should try dating", let's not forget my favorite: "It's too soon, you are just trying to fill a gap", "you will end up filling it with just anything and then being upset about it", "you should wait", "don't settle for less than perfect". Then I would think of jokingly what "perfect" is and of making a personal wanted ad, how it would read. How ridiculous.
Perfect doesn't exist. Perfect would have a college degree and a job that my parents couldn't complain about. They'd be stable enough and laid back enough not to be the least bit bothered by kids. They'd be damn near saintly in being warm, kind, honest and understanding, not taking offense and being confident enough to not worry about their wife flirting with people... they'd be secure in knowing that I wouldn't dream of screwing things up and trust me.
Perfect doesn't exist though.... and that is the sad truth. Waiting forever for such only achieves being alone always, and becoming so set in your ways with being alone that you can't make any concessions anymore. No more compromises.
...shit. Now I'm crying again.
This is a bad day to be thinking of this stuff. I really need a job so I will have no time for this.
Perfect doesn't exist. Perfect would have a college degree and a job that my parents couldn't complain about. They'd be stable enough and laid back enough not to be the least bit bothered by kids. They'd be damn near saintly in being warm, kind, honest and understanding, not taking offense and being confident enough to not worry about their wife flirting with people... they'd be secure in knowing that I wouldn't dream of screwing things up and trust me.
Perfect doesn't exist though.... and that is the sad truth. Waiting forever for such only achieves being alone always, and becoming so set in your ways with being alone that you can't make any concessions anymore. No more compromises.
...shit. Now I'm crying again.
This is a bad day to be thinking of this stuff. I really need a job so I will have no time for this.