Chapter 6
Chapter 6, duders
Chapter 6: ALLISON, GET OUT OF THE SHOWER!
We ducked back into our room for a couple hours to get away from it all and prepare for the impending costume contest. It wasn't long before the girls said we should go downstairs and get in line. The contest is such a big deal that you can't even get a seat to watch it without standing in line. We went back downstairs. They soon followed on their own to wait backstage with the other contestants.
Even waiting was eventful. In front of us was a dude of about 30 and what appeared to be his daughter, about six or so. This was all fine and good until he started pointing out girls wearing skimpy clothing to us with her standing right there. How do you respond to that? "Yeah dude, she's hot! Check out that rack!" really didn't seem appropriate. I just sort of nodded or something.
Line
On top of that, Andy overheard some talk about a fellow he'd apparently met before. He told me a tale of his earlier role as "cosplay support technician." He'd been doing the job when this dude with massive biceps pushed in and told Miko, "Girl, you lookin' fine." She sheepishly thanked him before he told Andy that he'd be taking over bodyguard duty for a while. He accepted, being as the guy was actually built like a bodyguard, but it wasn't along before he ran off anyway. While in line, we found out he'd spent the rest of the day running an unofficial arm wrestling competition and went undefeated. It takes a big man to beat a bunch of nerds in arm wrestling, let me tell you.
Also while in line, someone wearing a perfect Master Chief (Halo) costume showed up and walked around. I was like, "Shit, he'd better not be in the contest or they're doomed." Luckily, he wasn't. My hunch is that Microsoft's marketing department sent him. It was just too perfect. When the line started moving inside, he escaped and was never seen again.
Master Chief
Forming a line was too complicated for some people, so they just Zerg rushed the hell out of the doors and screwed over those of us that actually got there early. Awesome. So, we ended up sitting in the nosebleed section. I was thanking God for the Jumbotron's blowing people up so we could see something until a Black Mage dude with a big ol' hat and staff sat in front of me. There's a good reason why people don't normally wear hats that are half a foot tall.
The organizers were smart enough to put a girl as host who would constantly let loose with minor sexual innuendo. It kept the crowd interested as each person/group paraded across the stage. Some cons have them perform skits in character, but this wasn't one of them. Prizes were awarded for pretty standard categories with the exception of "Best use of Cardboard" for some Tetris blocks. Judges are allowed to make up categories for things that deserve mention but aren't quite good enough for the "best" categories. "Audience Choice" went to a friggin' crazy eight-foot tall Gundam robot thing. Pictures of the winners and their awards are available here:
http://www.fansview.com/2004/awa/awcosp.htm
Amanda, Miko, Allison in FFX2 getups
Best use of Cardboard
Best Original Costume
Best Group
Fans' Choice
Best In Show
Tetris and ATHF danced around during intermission
If you clicked the link, you'd notice that our girls won Best Novice. Hurray for them, but of course, wacky hijinks ensued there too. "Best Video Game" and "Best Group" went to other people, so we thought they'd lost. We were about to give up hope when their names were announced for "Best Novice." Andy, Ben, and I jumped up, screaming and clapping our hearts out, but there was a problem that became apparent with the announcement of, "Where are they?"
The con schedule had a block marked "Cosplay Winners" under Sunday morning. Miko took this to mean the winners wouldn't be announced until then. Anxious to get out of their awesome but rather-painful costumes, they were back up in their room when the names were called. When we realized they weren't coming, I whipped out the cell phone for a frantic, but costly roaming call. "Hello?" "WHERE ARE YOU? YOU JUST WON!" " We're in the room. What?" "YOU JUST WON BEST NOVICE. THEY ARE LOOKING FOR YOU! GET DOWN HERE!" "What the fuck? They weren't supposed to announce them until tomorrow!" "Well, they just did!" "Those fuckers!"
This was followed by Miko's informing the others while I remained on the phone, laughing in euphoric hyperactivity. "It's Chris. We just won Best Novice… ALLISON, GET OUT OF THE SHOWER! WE WON!" Finally, she got off the phone for a mad dash getting down the stairs. Sure, they got ready quickly before…but this one had to break world records. Reportedly, Allison was applying hair gel while they stomped down nine flights.
Of course, the rest of the announcements didn't wait. They went through the remaining winners, ending with Best in Show. Finally, there was an announcement that the Best Novice winners were here, freshly showered and changed! They'd hoped to be merely given the award backstage, but the organizers felt it better to send the embarrassed trio on stage in front of half a thousand people for a giddy curtsy and a brief interview.
The interview started with the, "How long have you been doing this?" question (eight months) before getting to "How did you decide who would be each character?" The replies were "I'm tall" (clapping and laughter), "I'm Asian," (clapping and laughter), and "I'm short and hyper and cute?" We were sure to sass them all about their impromptu replies when the whole shebang ended shortly afterward. Their prize was a trophy and a $20 gift certificate to go buy more stuff from a stand in the dealer room. Laughing all the way, we went back upstairs to finish off the night with a bottle of champagne and more delicacies from our old pal, George Foreman.
I'm tall! I'm Asian! I'm short and cute and hyper!
We soon watched an anime called "Memory" using my laptop for a player. Its second episode was about a guy with terrible body odor that instantly killed anyone around him in an increasingly large radius. As an added bonus, it also caused machines and electronics to explode for some reason that defies basic physics. We decided that it should be redubbed to be about the "fanboy stench," lingo invented to describe how smelly anime fans get when they "forget" to shower at conventions. It's really less uncommon than it ought to be. The other episodes were just weird and not even worth describing. I was starting to nod off.
Chapter 6: ALLISON, GET OUT OF THE SHOWER!
We ducked back into our room for a couple hours to get away from it all and prepare for the impending costume contest. It wasn't long before the girls said we should go downstairs and get in line. The contest is such a big deal that you can't even get a seat to watch it without standing in line. We went back downstairs. They soon followed on their own to wait backstage with the other contestants.
Even waiting was eventful. In front of us was a dude of about 30 and what appeared to be his daughter, about six or so. This was all fine and good until he started pointing out girls wearing skimpy clothing to us with her standing right there. How do you respond to that? "Yeah dude, she's hot! Check out that rack!" really didn't seem appropriate. I just sort of nodded or something.
Line
On top of that, Andy overheard some talk about a fellow he'd apparently met before. He told me a tale of his earlier role as "cosplay support technician." He'd been doing the job when this dude with massive biceps pushed in and told Miko, "Girl, you lookin' fine." She sheepishly thanked him before he told Andy that he'd be taking over bodyguard duty for a while. He accepted, being as the guy was actually built like a bodyguard, but it wasn't along before he ran off anyway. While in line, we found out he'd spent the rest of the day running an unofficial arm wrestling competition and went undefeated. It takes a big man to beat a bunch of nerds in arm wrestling, let me tell you.
Also while in line, someone wearing a perfect Master Chief (Halo) costume showed up and walked around. I was like, "Shit, he'd better not be in the contest or they're doomed." Luckily, he wasn't. My hunch is that Microsoft's marketing department sent him. It was just too perfect. When the line started moving inside, he escaped and was never seen again.
Master Chief
Forming a line was too complicated for some people, so they just Zerg rushed the hell out of the doors and screwed over those of us that actually got there early. Awesome. So, we ended up sitting in the nosebleed section. I was thanking God for the Jumbotron's blowing people up so we could see something until a Black Mage dude with a big ol' hat and staff sat in front of me. There's a good reason why people don't normally wear hats that are half a foot tall.
The organizers were smart enough to put a girl as host who would constantly let loose with minor sexual innuendo. It kept the crowd interested as each person/group paraded across the stage. Some cons have them perform skits in character, but this wasn't one of them. Prizes were awarded for pretty standard categories with the exception of "Best use of Cardboard" for some Tetris blocks. Judges are allowed to make up categories for things that deserve mention but aren't quite good enough for the "best" categories. "Audience Choice" went to a friggin' crazy eight-foot tall Gundam robot thing. Pictures of the winners and their awards are available here:
http://www.fansview.com/2004/awa/awcosp.htm
Amanda, Miko, Allison in FFX2 getups
Best use of Cardboard
Best Original Costume
Best Group
Fans' Choice
Best In Show
Tetris and ATHF danced around during intermission
If you clicked the link, you'd notice that our girls won Best Novice. Hurray for them, but of course, wacky hijinks ensued there too. "Best Video Game" and "Best Group" went to other people, so we thought they'd lost. We were about to give up hope when their names were announced for "Best Novice." Andy, Ben, and I jumped up, screaming and clapping our hearts out, but there was a problem that became apparent with the announcement of, "Where are they?"
The con schedule had a block marked "Cosplay Winners" under Sunday morning. Miko took this to mean the winners wouldn't be announced until then. Anxious to get out of their awesome but rather-painful costumes, they were back up in their room when the names were called. When we realized they weren't coming, I whipped out the cell phone for a frantic, but costly roaming call. "Hello?" "WHERE ARE YOU? YOU JUST WON!" " We're in the room. What?" "YOU JUST WON BEST NOVICE. THEY ARE LOOKING FOR YOU! GET DOWN HERE!" "What the fuck? They weren't supposed to announce them until tomorrow!" "Well, they just did!" "Those fuckers!"
This was followed by Miko's informing the others while I remained on the phone, laughing in euphoric hyperactivity. "It's Chris. We just won Best Novice… ALLISON, GET OUT OF THE SHOWER! WE WON!" Finally, she got off the phone for a mad dash getting down the stairs. Sure, they got ready quickly before…but this one had to break world records. Reportedly, Allison was applying hair gel while they stomped down nine flights.
Of course, the rest of the announcements didn't wait. They went through the remaining winners, ending with Best in Show. Finally, there was an announcement that the Best Novice winners were here, freshly showered and changed! They'd hoped to be merely given the award backstage, but the organizers felt it better to send the embarrassed trio on stage in front of half a thousand people for a giddy curtsy and a brief interview.
The interview started with the, "How long have you been doing this?" question (eight months) before getting to "How did you decide who would be each character?" The replies were "I'm tall" (clapping and laughter), "I'm Asian," (clapping and laughter), and "I'm short and hyper and cute?" We were sure to sass them all about their impromptu replies when the whole shebang ended shortly afterward. Their prize was a trophy and a $20 gift certificate to go buy more stuff from a stand in the dealer room. Laughing all the way, we went back upstairs to finish off the night with a bottle of champagne and more delicacies from our old pal, George Foreman.
I'm tall! I'm Asian! I'm short and cute and hyper!
We soon watched an anime called "Memory" using my laptop for a player. Its second episode was about a guy with terrible body odor that instantly killed anyone around him in an increasingly large radius. As an added bonus, it also caused machines and electronics to explode for some reason that defies basic physics. We decided that it should be redubbed to be about the "fanboy stench," lingo invented to describe how smelly anime fans get when they "forget" to shower at conventions. It's really less uncommon than it ought to be. The other episodes were just weird and not even worth describing. I was starting to nod off.