Christopher’s History fun Nuggets #2
Pirates, Praetors and Peccadilloes
In the year 75 B.C., Julius Caesar, who at the time was 25 and a new Roman senator, was sailing across the Adriatic on his way to Rhodes to study Rhetoric (the art of discourse). On the way, he was captured by Sicilian pirates, who infested the Mediterranean Sea. I know what you are thinking. “Pirates?, not in the Caribbean?”. The Mediterranean Sea has always been a hotbed of piracy since people figured out how to sail. Pirates, in general, knew merchant ships were full of loot, there would be no witnesses and the people back home probably think the ship was just a victim of bad weather (or Poseidon,Krakens,Sirens etc…).
You may be wondering why the Roman Navy didn’t hunt these guys down, well that’s because the pirates offered the Romans Slaves which they needed for their plantations in Italy. Slavery, like piracy was much more commonplace in the old world than in the new. These pirates had a pretty good gig going, they would sell the low value prisoners as slaves and offer high value prisoners for ransom. Since they weren’t being actively discouraged, In their eyes I think this was more of a fair market business than a crime, as a result they tended not to be too rough with their prisoners, especially the high value ones, Which brings me back to Caesar.
Caesar was apparently something of a charming, braggadocios prisoner. When the pirates demanded a ransom of 20 Talents (Roman Currency and the going rate for a Senator), Caesar burst out laughing and told them they had no idea how awesome he was and offered to pay 50 Talents instead. While he was waiting for the money to be raised, he pretty much took it easy and enjoyed himself.
I don’t expect many people to have read historian Plutarch’s 1 st century tome “The Life of Caeser”, That’s why I’m here to pull out the fun parts. This is what Plutarch has to say about Caesars time with the pirates.
“For thirty-eight days, with all the freedom in the world, he amused himself with joining in their exercises and games, as if they had not been his keepers, but his guards. He wrote verses and speeches, and made them his auditors, and those who did not admire them, he called to their faces illiterate and barbarous, and would often, in raillery, threaten to hang them. They were greatly taken with this, and attributed his free talking to a kind of simplicity and boyish playfulness.
He also threatened to crucify them.”
When the ransom came in, Caesar was let go. I like to imagine a little Arnold Schwarzenegger “I’ll be back” vibe here. The first thing Caesar did when he got home was raise a fleet of his own and sail directly back to the pirates. I’d like to see the looks on their faces when he showed right back up, with an army.
Long story short, he crucified them all to the last man. Probably while saying something like “I told you #@$%#’s I’d be back”, While laughing and eating grapes. Julius Caesar may have been a total jerk, but you gotta give him this.
He was a man of his word.
P.S. Let me know if there is a period of history you would like a fun story about, I probably know one.
P.S.S. I'm halfway through writing a few books, The one I like the most is a collection of fun or interesting moments in history that aren't very well known. This is an Abbreviated sample.