This is my current single statement, My declaration of independence
Ok I have now come to a desision about my life and my future. It's not a very good one, but it's the best I can do at the moment.
NO MORE COMPROMISING!!!!!
I am not gonna compromise, or put off who I am and I was created to be anymore. I am a child of God. The creator of everything. And because he created everything he know's everything. And because he knows everything, I'm not gonna worry anymore about what might happen in the future. I've been really stuggling with the fact that after 18 years I have never ever had any type of serious relationship, with anyone really. And for the longest time I was really bummed about that. I started to see my friends get involved with other people, and I was so jealous of them. I wanted what they had. So much so that I was ready to cross a border line that was set for me. But I did something tonight that I hadn't done in a long time. I went back to church. At first I wasn't all that excited about going. I mostly did it for my mom to make up for not going Sunday.
But tonite, the pastor taught out of the book of Daniel. The message was titled, (and I love this) "Who BBQ'd The Boy's?" The story of Shadrach, Mishach and Abendego (sorry if I butchered the spelling). Anyway he said something that really hit me. I don't remember exact words, because lets face it, I'm a girl. I don't remember things in really good detail. B
But what he talked about was not compromising your faith, and your standards for the sake of following the crowd or fitting in.
Over the last few months I have been faced with a few choices. One I made in good faith, I tested, and realized that it just wasn't gonna work out. The second, I made out of sheer desperation for attention, and for the pleasure of getting noticed. This one came very close to having disasterous results. And it really scared me good.
So through all of this I think God was showing me that taking matters into my own hands, and trying to fill what I thought was a immediate need, was not really the best thing for me. I'm not all that good about waiting for God's timing, but this time around, I need to remember that there is a perfect completer for me. Don't think it's anywhere around here, but that is beside the point. I'm gonna stop looking. When it's God's time then I'll know. For now, I'm just gonna stay Em. Not Em and So-in-so, but just a happy-go-lucky single Em. And I think that with the time I spent worring and trying to fix my situation myself, there are other relationships I can spend time building. With people that are gonna point me back to God, and not somewhere else.
I have realized that this desision I have made is not a very popular one. It's gonna be a very long and very lonely road ahead. But I think what is gonna get me through it is knowing that when the time does come, it's gonna be the very best that this earth can offer. It will be perfect.
Wow, that took waay longer than I thought, I guess I had alot to get off my chest.
NO MORE COMPROMISING!!!!!
I am not gonna compromise, or put off who I am and I was created to be anymore. I am a child of God. The creator of everything. And because he created everything he know's everything. And because he knows everything, I'm not gonna worry anymore about what might happen in the future. I've been really stuggling with the fact that after 18 years I have never ever had any type of serious relationship, with anyone really. And for the longest time I was really bummed about that. I started to see my friends get involved with other people, and I was so jealous of them. I wanted what they had. So much so that I was ready to cross a border line that was set for me. But I did something tonight that I hadn't done in a long time. I went back to church. At first I wasn't all that excited about going. I mostly did it for my mom to make up for not going Sunday.
But tonite, the pastor taught out of the book of Daniel. The message was titled, (and I love this) "Who BBQ'd The Boy's?" The story of Shadrach, Mishach and Abendego (sorry if I butchered the spelling). Anyway he said something that really hit me. I don't remember exact words, because lets face it, I'm a girl. I don't remember things in really good detail. B
But what he talked about was not compromising your faith, and your standards for the sake of following the crowd or fitting in.
Over the last few months I have been faced with a few choices. One I made in good faith, I tested, and realized that it just wasn't gonna work out. The second, I made out of sheer desperation for attention, and for the pleasure of getting noticed. This one came very close to having disasterous results. And it really scared me good.
So through all of this I think God was showing me that taking matters into my own hands, and trying to fill what I thought was a immediate need, was not really the best thing for me. I'm not all that good about waiting for God's timing, but this time around, I need to remember that there is a perfect completer for me. Don't think it's anywhere around here, but that is beside the point. I'm gonna stop looking. When it's God's time then I'll know. For now, I'm just gonna stay Em. Not Em and So-in-so, but just a happy-go-lucky single Em. And I think that with the time I spent worring and trying to fix my situation myself, there are other relationships I can spend time building. With people that are gonna point me back to God, and not somewhere else.
I have realized that this desision I have made is not a very popular one. It's gonna be a very long and very lonely road ahead. But I think what is gonna get me through it is knowing that when the time does come, it's gonna be the very best that this earth can offer. It will be perfect.
Wow, that took waay longer than I thought, I guess I had alot to get off my chest.