here i am
So i'm still around- i haven't stopped updating or anything- but it's not my highest priority anymore. I mean those of you who care call me or contact me somehow on some quasi regular basis- so you know generally how i am and whats going on in my life. regardless:
It seems like life is so dramatic. I truly though i left most of this shit behind when i graduated highschool- but i truly havent. all the smae shit still happens. drama at work is consistent and im scared for my job- new management is carvign the place to pieces- the new gm even fired another manager on impulse and on the spot because of a stupid arguement- its childish and irresponsible... but im no less despensable- perhaps even more so. So money and finances are always a problem as of late- shit breaks and problems arise- and my family is having me take on more and more bills. So now i dont just have a monthly 400 to scrounge together for car insurance.. but i have to go ahead and pay my $ 500 book bill for this semister. fucking sweet.
I got my paycheck for the lst 2 weeks today- its $150 in change. i make 2.15 an hour. that tells you how much i've been working more than i should be...only in the sense that im scheduled for 3 shifts a week.... so i've been begging borowing and pleading ot steal them from my co workers...and im still barely getting by. i normally work 16 hours a week...yeah.
My bro is back nad hes been around alot- hes chill. not a great influence- but not a negative one. i guess its just nice to have someone to have around and keep you company.. I have a girlfriend for that...but it seems like i dont see her anymore.
Shes gotten addicted to guild wars and is involved in a clan that she seems attached to...she spends all day every day she has free now sitting online taling to people shes never met. its starting to piss me off... mostly because theres little or no interaction between us now, and my desktop has been fried since a power surge through the shitty wiring in my apartment - so i havent been able to work on any projects, music, sampling, or anything- much less game.
I have pretty much entered a permanent depression. 5 days of work- 2 days of school. i still chill alot somehow- i guess i've just cut back on sleeping.
tests are coming up. theres always something to do. i just feel hollow inside. i have everyhting i need- and yet i feel almost empty- misguided or misdirected- but i know everyhting that i want and everyhting that i need to do. With beth off in her own world and my family laying on the pressure at work i feel like my support system is gone.
i'm just getting weak- and its purely annoying.
im done for now before i keep thinking nad become even more disgusted with myself.
peace.
It seems like life is so dramatic. I truly though i left most of this shit behind when i graduated highschool- but i truly havent. all the smae shit still happens. drama at work is consistent and im scared for my job- new management is carvign the place to pieces- the new gm even fired another manager on impulse and on the spot because of a stupid arguement- its childish and irresponsible... but im no less despensable- perhaps even more so. So money and finances are always a problem as of late- shit breaks and problems arise- and my family is having me take on more and more bills. So now i dont just have a monthly 400 to scrounge together for car insurance.. but i have to go ahead and pay my $ 500 book bill for this semister. fucking sweet.
I got my paycheck for the lst 2 weeks today- its $150 in change. i make 2.15 an hour. that tells you how much i've been working more than i should be...only in the sense that im scheduled for 3 shifts a week.... so i've been begging borowing and pleading ot steal them from my co workers...and im still barely getting by. i normally work 16 hours a week...yeah.
My bro is back nad hes been around alot- hes chill. not a great influence- but not a negative one. i guess its just nice to have someone to have around and keep you company.. I have a girlfriend for that...but it seems like i dont see her anymore.
Shes gotten addicted to guild wars and is involved in a clan that she seems attached to...she spends all day every day she has free now sitting online taling to people shes never met. its starting to piss me off... mostly because theres little or no interaction between us now, and my desktop has been fried since a power surge through the shitty wiring in my apartment - so i havent been able to work on any projects, music, sampling, or anything- much less game.
I have pretty much entered a permanent depression. 5 days of work- 2 days of school. i still chill alot somehow- i guess i've just cut back on sleeping.
tests are coming up. theres always something to do. i just feel hollow inside. i have everyhting i need- and yet i feel almost empty- misguided or misdirected- but i know everyhting that i want and everyhting that i need to do. With beth off in her own world and my family laying on the pressure at work i feel like my support system is gone.
i'm just getting weak- and its purely annoying.
im done for now before i keep thinking nad become even more disgusted with myself.
peace.