Death and Stuff
Death is such a delicate subject because it's very controversial. Everyone has a different opinion of death. In some cultures, it's taboo to even speak of it. In other cultures, death is just another part of life and is celebrated as such. Some people believe in some sort of an afterlife, and some people think that this life is all we have. So I fervently hope I don't offend anyone with this blog entry. I accept that we all have different perspectives of death and I'm just stating my own.
I have experienced several instances of death throughout my life and though I haven't been so unfortunate to lose a most-loved family member, or even a best friend, my encounters with death are still vivid, painful memories. I have felt my own pain, but I am also so empathetic that I've acutely felt the pain of those who were closer to the deceased. So I don't feel as though my experiences should be any less important as I go on with writing this entry.
I am not particularly religious. I consider myself to be more spiritual than anything else. But I do believe in an afterlife of some sort. I don't pretend to know what that entails. I just know that I've known very good people who have died and I cannot fathom that this is it for them. I don't know if the afterlife is as elaborate as the traditional idea of Heaven, or if it simply means that those who have died still exists because they have still left their mark of existence upon the living. But either way, I don't think we just stop existing altogether after we die.
It's funny in a way. When I was a child, I had terrible nightmares (that I still remember in good detail) about dying, or having to experience the death of a loved one, such as my mom or my grandmama. I would wake up crying and amble into either my mom's bed or my older brother's bed. The concept of losing someone like that was so frightening to me. And it still is to a degree.
But I understand death better now, and I think the more we understand something, the easier it is to accept it. It's completely dorky, but in the movie Van Helsing, the lead female actress has a line that goes something like this " We don't waste time being sad about death. We believe we will see eachother again." I've adopted that idea. I think that, in whatever the afterlife manifests as, we will see our loved ones again. Death is a natural cycle of life. There is no way around it. So why waste time being afraid of it?
I understand that we will all mourn the passing of a loved one. It's expected, because we miss them and we have to get used to not seeing them for a long time. It can be a hard concept to deal with. But eventually we have to accept what has happened and move on with our lives. I choose to be optimistic about it. And I know when I lose my mom, who is the greatest influence in my life, I will be very sad. But I won't mourn forever, because I know I will see her again.
If there's any other words to say on the subject it's this: Death is unpredictable. Anyone at any age can die, and the young are not invincible. I like to believe that we don't die without reason. I like to think that when we die, the universe has decided that our time is up, and our purpose is fulfilled. It's cliche', but we need to make every moment count because you just never know what life has in store for you. And the other thing is, as morbid as it is to think about, it wouldn't hurt to give some thought over to what you want to happen after you've passed on.
I know for my own part, I would like to be an organ donor. I won't be needing those anymore, so why hold onto them when they can serve someone else? As for the rest of me, I think I'd like to be cremated. But I don't want to sit in some vase on someone's mantle. I'd like to be sprinkled around my hometown. That's where my whole life started. I think it would be incredibly lonely and enslaving to be buried and left in the ground. I would like to be like my great grandmother. When she died, over 300 people came to her funeral, and most of them had stories of how she had helped them in some way or another or stories of her life. I think that's an incredible way to be remembered.
Yours,
Lainie
I have experienced several instances of death throughout my life and though I haven't been so unfortunate to lose a most-loved family member, or even a best friend, my encounters with death are still vivid, painful memories. I have felt my own pain, but I am also so empathetic that I've acutely felt the pain of those who were closer to the deceased. So I don't feel as though my experiences should be any less important as I go on with writing this entry.
I am not particularly religious. I consider myself to be more spiritual than anything else. But I do believe in an afterlife of some sort. I don't pretend to know what that entails. I just know that I've known very good people who have died and I cannot fathom that this is it for them. I don't know if the afterlife is as elaborate as the traditional idea of Heaven, or if it simply means that those who have died still exists because they have still left their mark of existence upon the living. But either way, I don't think we just stop existing altogether after we die.
It's funny in a way. When I was a child, I had terrible nightmares (that I still remember in good detail) about dying, or having to experience the death of a loved one, such as my mom or my grandmama. I would wake up crying and amble into either my mom's bed or my older brother's bed. The concept of losing someone like that was so frightening to me. And it still is to a degree.
But I understand death better now, and I think the more we understand something, the easier it is to accept it. It's completely dorky, but in the movie Van Helsing, the lead female actress has a line that goes something like this " We don't waste time being sad about death. We believe we will see eachother again." I've adopted that idea. I think that, in whatever the afterlife manifests as, we will see our loved ones again. Death is a natural cycle of life. There is no way around it. So why waste time being afraid of it?
I understand that we will all mourn the passing of a loved one. It's expected, because we miss them and we have to get used to not seeing them for a long time. It can be a hard concept to deal with. But eventually we have to accept what has happened and move on with our lives. I choose to be optimistic about it. And I know when I lose my mom, who is the greatest influence in my life, I will be very sad. But I won't mourn forever, because I know I will see her again.
If there's any other words to say on the subject it's this: Death is unpredictable. Anyone at any age can die, and the young are not invincible. I like to believe that we don't die without reason. I like to think that when we die, the universe has decided that our time is up, and our purpose is fulfilled. It's cliche', but we need to make every moment count because you just never know what life has in store for you. And the other thing is, as morbid as it is to think about, it wouldn't hurt to give some thought over to what you want to happen after you've passed on.
I know for my own part, I would like to be an organ donor. I won't be needing those anymore, so why hold onto them when they can serve someone else? As for the rest of me, I think I'd like to be cremated. But I don't want to sit in some vase on someone's mantle. I'd like to be sprinkled around my hometown. That's where my whole life started. I think it would be incredibly lonely and enslaving to be buried and left in the ground. I would like to be like my great grandmother. When she died, over 300 people came to her funeral, and most of them had stories of how she had helped them in some way or another or stories of her life. I think that's an incredible way to be remembered.
Yours,
Lainie