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This weekend has been weird and ordinary all at once.
On Friday I hosted my first forum session with Alex, Clare, Rachita, Vaskar and Kyle. I think it went pretty well, I felt so at ease talking in front of everyone. I guess it was because of all the familiar faces(Wallace and Stephen up top) - I've known pretty much everyone for a long time. The fact that I was standing up there with others and knew quit a bit about plastic surgery helped too, of course. It was just as though I was having an intimate class discussion. Kyle volunteered me as part of a improvisation I had yet to know I was involved in (this was because none of our video introduction material worked undergound in the ABT). It was so incredibly reminiscent of grade6 Tioman, I felt a small flutter in my heart but thought of it no more. Once you move on, there's no turning back... no amount of "what if"s can change all the windows of opportunity that have swung shut. Forum was a reasonable success in my opinion, considering this is the first one I've done - I was a very bad forum representative in grade10 as Wallace would be able to vouch for. Perhaps it was the setting as well, the comforting red chairs juxtaposes the cold hard corners of the small hall, where every pair of eyes are angled to focus on you.
Later that Friday night, after my piano "lesson", I went to see Acoustica at school with Tel. I look forward to going to the dance show her with her next week too! It was really good although we sat rather painfully on our tushes for 3hours. When I see someone I know performing I almost feel nervous for them but I was so assured that George and Ames would do well that I didn't worry at all. They weren't even singing. I was so proud and told George how good it was quite a few times after the show. I gave him a kiss on the cheek almost as a form of praise and went home.
On the way home, Tiff had this conversation with me about birth control pills and growing up. Of all things! It was the weirdest conversation I've had with her to date but it was a reflief to have had it. Surprisingly I didn't feel like dying while she talked but I did want to crawl into a big sweater to hide away; and thankfully she had to keep her eyes on the road because I would've died if we had to have the same conversation looking at each other in the face. It let me know that she'll accept me no matter what wrongs/mistakes I make so hopefully we'll fight less because she'll be more understanding. The last thing I would want a parent to do is treat me as though I'm 11 when I'm actually 17. It still feels weird to sit at the dining table and pretend that the conversation never happened, but that's just how things are with us. Float on, editting out all the moments we'd rather not dwell further upon. I cannot lie though, it makes me cringe to think of it now.
Saturday, I had a lie in. The day was mainly composed of a 3hour nap, cuddling up in a warm slumber while it rained outside, and then eating a bit while watching the first of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I am surprised at how lovely it was to just lounge around and enjoy a day indoors, the feeling is surprisingly comparable to having an active one at a mall for the entire afternoon. One just doesn't involve emptying one's wallet.