IRON OUT THOSE MIND CREASES
I just wached half of Love And Other Drugs. I really need to stop being so hung up about stupid things and flow a bit better. You know, let go and all that. I am preoccupied now anyway, and things are not exactly in place yet but they will be. I have friends that are good to me... and everyone else that is anything a little less; well, I don't know what they expect because I've divided my heart among precious people already.
FLOOR PLAN OF FURNISHED APARTMENT IN CANARY WHARF
This is what I was last term. You could walk with me, talk with me, confide in me, cook for me, we could hold hands, nap together, dream up things... and what does it matter. You could tell me about your girlfriend. We liked the companionship and I felt free at the same time. I wasn't owned, committed, worried, dramatic. I was easy, I could kiss and not blow it out of proportion. I wasn't crazy, or self-obsessed. You didn't scare me, though now I've turned you into something I hate. It feels like a long time ago, but I really just didn't give much a fuck and I need to straighten all the creases in my mind. The reality of it is that I don't care much for many things, and I don't know how to handle my emotions very well. It's easier to simplify it and not let my heart run away with thoughts that don't align with reality. Girls are kind of stupid and for the past 2 weeks I've been a bit of one. I want to be an unthinking, floating body - with every capacity to feel and experience and hurt... but open enough to let it happen and accept that it's an inevitable fact of life.
blah blah
get over yourself