(no subject)
Time passed by so fast,
How long has it been?
a year?
What three years already!
Three years since those high school year.
Looking back, what have I really done with my life?
No job,
No goals,
No relationship,
Nothing to be proud of.
What is there to life?
Nothing.
Now I see my little sister,
graduating,
is she better than me?
No, she's not, I want to say,
I want to think,
but everyone is pointing out the things
that makes her much more better than me,
though I know that they do it unconciously.
I see her with her many friends, awards, a boyfriend,
She's normal and I'm not.
I envy her.
But instead of doing something about it,
I withdraw more and more and more into myself.
I can't take the pressure.
I ask myself why,
Why do I do that?
Is it because of my family?
Am I scared?
Why do I withdraw within myself?
I didn't used to be like this.
Why, why , why.
I want to cry out of frustration,
but no one would listen,
No one.
They would just laugh at me,
Like they did when I told them that there's something wrong with me.
No one pays attention.
I am nothing.
21 years old,
female,
who was she again?
I don't know anymore.
I'm tired.
I have no goals.
I have nothing.