and we can top the old times play making that nothing else will change
if there is one thing that i have learned over and over again, it is that everything is impermanent. people, places, experiences, memories. everything.
its funny that it should be so painful to realize again. after having realized it so many times before--the sting is fresh.
it's hard growing up. becoming aware of things. its both a blessing and a curse. sometimes the only option you have is to accept things. and i've never been one to readily accept defeat, or something that i don't like. so instead i fight it. this is nothing new. it gets me in trouble. i'd like to think it it's spunky. but no. it gets me in trouble because then the come down is so much steeper. i'm cursed with an analytical mind. as i feel different things i can't help but analyze why i do.
how did i become this person? so nostalgic. why must i always look towards the past as i look to the future?
loss is so complex. how do i remain a whole person when such a big part of me is comprised of those i love?
and how do i prepare myself for loss that is looming around the corner? how do i reconcile figurative loss when literal physical loss has not taken place?
i was only 15, but:
well right now i am in my Nonni's house in Brooklyn. Oh i love this place so much. It is so relaxing!
and ooh boy is it hot outside, i think i brought the wrong clothes. luckily i threw in a tank top at the last minute.
i got here around 1:00 on saturday and then we had lunch and then went out for a walk down the block (s). everything is in russian here! it is so odd! like seriously. all the signs and stuff have russian as well as english! i wish wayland was multicultural enough to do something like that.
i think i love this part of brooklyn. it is fairly quiet. actually it isn't. but it seems that way. so we went walking and it was nice seeing and watching all the different people on the street and in the shops. hey, tiffany and i are like 6 miles away from eachother and she hasn't come and visited me yet. oh well. i guess that's tiff.
on sunday we went to coney island and walked on the boardwalk and down the pier and saw all the people fishing. it was marvelous. we ate lunch at nathan's and then went home to have a lazy afternoon.
yesterday i didn't go out at all xept to sit on the stoop and watch the neighborhood go by. it was nice. this really snotty looking girl went by on rollerblades and oooo boy did she have a sneer on her face. aint that a shame. it was such a nice day.
and today, this morning really, we went out to sheepshead bay and walked around there and went food shopping and i called chloe and we talked about our olsen papers.
and here i am, inside on a beautiful day. gorgeous.
the strat cats wake me up at 8. isn't this vacation?
its funny that it should be so painful to realize again. after having realized it so many times before--the sting is fresh.
it's hard growing up. becoming aware of things. its both a blessing and a curse. sometimes the only option you have is to accept things. and i've never been one to readily accept defeat, or something that i don't like. so instead i fight it. this is nothing new. it gets me in trouble. i'd like to think it it's spunky. but no. it gets me in trouble because then the come down is so much steeper. i'm cursed with an analytical mind. as i feel different things i can't help but analyze why i do.
how did i become this person? so nostalgic. why must i always look towards the past as i look to the future?
loss is so complex. how do i remain a whole person when such a big part of me is comprised of those i love?
and how do i prepare myself for loss that is looming around the corner? how do i reconcile figurative loss when literal physical loss has not taken place?
i was only 15, but:
well right now i am in my Nonni's house in Brooklyn. Oh i love this place so much. It is so relaxing!
and ooh boy is it hot outside, i think i brought the wrong clothes. luckily i threw in a tank top at the last minute.
i got here around 1:00 on saturday and then we had lunch and then went out for a walk down the block (s). everything is in russian here! it is so odd! like seriously. all the signs and stuff have russian as well as english! i wish wayland was multicultural enough to do something like that.
i think i love this part of brooklyn. it is fairly quiet. actually it isn't. but it seems that way. so we went walking and it was nice seeing and watching all the different people on the street and in the shops. hey, tiffany and i are like 6 miles away from eachother and she hasn't come and visited me yet. oh well. i guess that's tiff.
on sunday we went to coney island and walked on the boardwalk and down the pier and saw all the people fishing. it was marvelous. we ate lunch at nathan's and then went home to have a lazy afternoon.
yesterday i didn't go out at all xept to sit on the stoop and watch the neighborhood go by. it was nice. this really snotty looking girl went by on rollerblades and oooo boy did she have a sneer on her face. aint that a shame. it was such a nice day.
and today, this morning really, we went out to sheepshead bay and walked around there and went food shopping and i called chloe and we talked about our olsen papers.
and here i am, inside on a beautiful day. gorgeous.
the strat cats wake me up at 8. isn't this vacation?